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    If Pets Wrote Diaries!

    WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Old Bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    *****

    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

    Day 983 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are spies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

    6 Comments

    like it :-)
    my cats would consist of:
    7am - constantly get under mummy and daddys feet until we are fed
    8am - 6pm - sleep, wander, poo on in neighbours, sleep, wake up, back to sleep, wake change positions - back to sleep
    7pm - constantly get under mummy and daddys feet until we are fed
    8pm - midnight - play with flies, sit on daddys chest while he tries a plays xbox - GOOD BOYS!!
    he he

    http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/cat_will_kill_you.jpg[/IMG]

    nothing wrong with stroking some pussy(cat):thumbsup:

    Banned

    transit;5713346

    nothing wrong with stroking some pussy:thumbsup:



    that there aint dude :thumbsup:

    lol very accurate!

    is there a blatent avoidance of the swear filter in the op??? ie the swear filter dont work :lol:
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