Groups

    I'm bored

    ... Nothings changed since writing the title, still bored.

    36 Comments

    bored too lol

    Original Poster

    Ok, I got a joke may help my fellow sufferers get unbored for a few seconds..

    God made us all different. But when he got to China he thought 'sod it'. Copy, paste, copy, paste.....

    http://goofygifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/funny-gifs-exorcist.gif

    r4ge - that made me lol which is not a good thing at work!

    Original Poster

    Just tried that r4ge. Was quite content for a minute, then I got a headache

    lolz, u got the technique wrong!

    keep trying

    Original Poster

    I can see some kids having a water fight, might go and join in. They wont stand a chance against me and my kettle...

    I am in a benevolent mood, if you want to go out for a dram, I am buying. I only drink fine malts so that ought to relieve boredom.

    http://acidcow.com/content/img/new03/41/62.gif

    don't underestimate the kids these days

    http://rumorsontheinternets.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/kids-water-balloon.gif

    Original Poster

    fluffyundacrakas

    r4ge - that made me lol which is not a good thing at work!



    Do you work in a mosque?

    Disclaimer: I in no way mean to start a religious handbag fight
    Edited by: "jonny619447" 10th Jun 2011

    I'm bored too, stuck in waiting for someone to service the boiler.

    Original Poster

    Lol r4ge, thats some balloon

    jonny619447

    Lol r4ge, thats some balloon




    check out these 2












    [img]data:image/jpg;base64,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[/img]

    jonny619447

    Do you work in a mosque? ;)Disclaimer: I in know way mean to start a … Do you work in a mosque? ;)Disclaimer: I in know way mean to start a religious handbag fight



    Mosque? Lol, um a big no to that! Nope in an office, doing srs work, totally obvious I’m not doing my job! X)

    Original Poster

    Sounds great aberdeen dad, but I fear by the time I get to aberdeen the said opportunity will have passed by as you sit in the corner of the pub struggling to accurately get peanuts into your mouth whilst swaying like a daisy in a force 9 gale.

    I find hypnosis good for boredom

    http://www.igirls.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/click-slow-motion-boobs.gif

    Original Poster

    Fluffy onto another point we still haven't left feedback for that game, going to do yours now. If you would be so kind

    master_chief

    Deceptively large bum, thoughts - … Deceptively large bum, thoughts - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2001941/Jennifer-Metcalfe-shows-fuller-figure-bikini-films-Hollyoaks-Ibiza.html



    Yikes!

    Original Poster

    master_chief

    Deceptively large bum, thoughts - … Deceptively large bum, thoughts - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2001941/Jennifer-Metcalfe-shows-fuller-figure-bikini-films-Hollyoaks-Ibiza.html



    A woman needs a bit of meat...

    ... Or I snap them in 2

    master_chief

    Deceptively large bum, thoughts - … Deceptively large bum, thoughts - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2001941/Jennifer-Metcalfe-shows-fuller-figure-bikini-films-Hollyoaks-Ibiza.html



    Deceptively large bum? Really? You obviously haven’t seen Kim Kardashian then! The first lot of photos show her in a true light where you can clearly see the cellulite on her legs as well, her bum looks average, nothing spectacular about it, shape or size. The second one of her in her green bikini is taken at a more flattering angle. I’d still tap that if I was a lesbo, but I’d have to gag her though, her voice is very annoying.

    jonny619447

    Fluffy onto another point we still haven't left feedback for that game, … Fluffy onto another point we still haven't left feedback for that game, going to do yours now. If you would be so kind



    Oh yes, sorry, will do

    How about a joke to beat it:

    My wife said to me last night that she is not satisfied in the bedroom department anymore and that I need to invest in a pen1s enlarger. So I took her advice today, her name is Lucy and she's 21.

    master_chief

    Who agrees with Maximus? - … Who agrees with Maximus? - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2001929/Russell-Crowe-launches-Twitter-row-barbaric-circumcision.html



    does filth&fury have a twitter account, i think he just wound up russel crowe!

    Banned

    fluffyundacrakas

    Deceptively large bum? Really? You obviously haven’t seen Kim Kardashian t … Deceptively large bum? Really? You obviously haven’t seen Kim Kardashian then! The first lot of photos show her in a true light where you can clearly see the cellulite on her legs as well, her bum looks average, nothing spectacular about it, shape or size. The second one of her in her green bikini is taken at a more flattering angle. I’d still tap that if I was a lesbo, but I’d have to gag her though, her voice is very annoying.



    I have seen Kim's many times yes, have you not gathered I read the DM website yet? I didn't realise this bird had a big bum from what I'd seen on the rare occasion I'd caught Hollyoaks.

    Banned

    r4ge

    does filth&fury have a twitter account, i think he just wound up russel … does filth&fury have a twitter account, i think he just wound up russel crowe!



    Filth would be agreeing with him surely? Unless that's what you meant?

    master_chief

    Who agrees with Maximus? - … Who agrees with Maximus? - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2001929/Russell-Crowe-launches-Twitter-row-barbaric-circumcision.html



    Reading that, Russell Crowe is hilarious. X)

    "follower 'Picknic11' said: 'Do you think I should get him circumstanced?', he replied: 'Here's a life rule, if you can't spell it, don't do it.'"

    "Another user 'BarackMcBush' insisted 'It's more hygienic and nobody remembers it'. The Tweet then prompted Crowe to blast: 'Hygienic? Why don't you sew up your a** then?'"
    Edited by: "Ungreat" 10th Jun 2011

    Banned

    Ungreat

    Reading that Russell Crowe is hilarious. X)"follower 'Picknic11' said: … Reading that Russell Crowe is hilarious. X)"follower 'Picknic11' said: 'Do you think I should get him circumstanced?', he replied: 'Here's a life rule, if you can't spell it, don't do it.'""Another user 'BarackMcBush' insisted 'It's more hygienic and nobody remembers it'. The Tweet then prompted Crowe to blast: 'Hygienic? Why don't you sew up your a** then?'"



    If only all celebs were as honest as him.

    Original Poster

    greg_68

    How about a joke to beat it:My wife said to me last night that she is not … How about a joke to beat it:My wife said to me last night that she is not satisfied in the bedroom department anymore and that I need to invest in a pen1s enlarger. So I took her advice today, her name is Lucy and she's 21.



    Cheers greg, can always rely on you for a joke

    Original Poster

    My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

    She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

    She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles"Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children - anything that is so your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.

    The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car.

    The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most mportant."

    I was dumbfounded.

    Where was she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich?
    Edited by: "jonny619447" 10th Jun 2011

    While I am on a roll then:

    I was at work yesterday and one of the women in the office asked me what my ring tone was.
    'Light brown, like everyone elses' I replied. I find that women are a lot more forward than they used to be.

    greg_68

    While I am on a roll then:I was at work yesterday and one of the women in … While I am on a roll then:I was at work yesterday and one of the women in the office asked me what my ring tone was.'Light brown, like everyone elses' I replied. I find that women are a lot more forward than they used to be.



    I really shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at that. X)

    Original Poster

    I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be killed by a cucumber.

    Banned

    r4ge

    does filth&fury have a twitter account, i think he just wound up russel … does filth&fury have a twitter account, i think he just wound up russel crowe!



    Some people call it a superfluous, useless chunk of skin.....

    But I think r4ge is a good poster.
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. ❅☁☁❅ I want☼to talk☼about the☔WEATHER☔no politics☃no religion❅☁☁❅18846240
      2. 'Hard' Brexit offers '£135bn annual boost' to economy - BBC News67
      3. Just heard this...2 ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ congrats to all on 392k ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★7764385
      4. How dangerous is Donald trump?33196

      See more discussions