In need of some cheering up :(

37 replies
Found 18th Jul 2009
Anybody got any giggles to share...

Had a rubbish week and could do with a laugh

33 Comments

You should see my payslip, that's the best joke I've seen for ages.

Original Poster

splatsplatsplat;5783128

You should see my payslip, that's the best joke I've seen for ages.



LOL... that will be me next week too!

http://www.myspacedev.com/img/funny/funny0287.jpg

Original Poster

transit;5783173



Was that ment to cheer me or up or make me feel sick???

Miss Money Penny;5783181

Was that ment to cheer me or up or make me feel sick???



was a "things could be worse":roll:

Original Poster

transit;5783197

was a "things could be worse":roll:



Well, when you put it like that! :roll: :-D

http://www.myspacedev.com/img/funny/funny0142.jpg

Banned

an oldie but still funny (imho of course lol)

Hairy Lip Squid

The Mayor of the town goes to the top restaurant called Gervais's. As he's the top man the head chef, Gervais personally asks him what he wants to eat.
He decides, after much deliberation, on the dish of the day, which is Squid. Gervais takes him to the aquarium to choose a squid, he spots one, which by strange coincidence has a small moustache just like his own.
So... Gervais takes the squid to the kitchen, puts it on the board and takes out his largest knife to kill it, he raises his hand and as he goes to kill it hears a very quiet "eeeek", he looks around... nothing, so he raises his arm, goes to kill it and again hears a quiet "eeeek" .. looking down he sees the squid and it again goes "eeek".
He then finds he can't bring himself to kill the squid. So he looks across the kitchen and sees Hans, the dishwasher. "Hans! Come over here and kill this squid for me so I can prepare a dish for the Mayor". Hans is bored with his dishwashing job and thinks to himself that if he can do this job properly he can make it as a chef, I really need to prove myself by doing a job properly. So he raises his arm, knife in hand and goes to kill the squid.
"Eeeek" he hears, strange he thinks... and looks around... nothing.. so he goes to kill the squid and again... a quiet "eeeek". He looks down and sees the squid and it again goes... "eeeek" . Hans is troubled.. he wants to prove himself but is obviously having troubles, he raises his arm again brings knife down and just before he does the squid quietly goes "eeeeek".
Hans realises that he doesn't have the heart to kill the squid and the Mayor misses out on his cordon bleu meal.
The Moral of this story?
For Hans that do dishes can be as soft as Gervais, with mild scream hairy lip squid...

Original Poster

transit;5783221



Thats awful, I could never go out in public looking like that. Some people have no idea! :-D

Original Poster

ROFL!!!!!! :w00t: Luv it!!



csiman;5783228

an oldie but still funny (imho of course lol)Hairy Lip Squid The Mayor … an oldie but still funny (imho of course lol)Hairy Lip Squid The Mayor of the town goes to the top restaurant called Gervais's. As he's the top man the head chef, Gervais personally asks him what he wants to eat. He decides, after much deliberation, on the dish of the day, which is Squid. Gervais takes him to the aquarium to choose a squid, he spots one, which by strange coincidence has a small moustache just like his own. So... Gervais takes the squid to the kitchen, puts it on the board and takes out his largest knife to kill it, he raises his hand and as he goes to kill it hears a very quiet "eeeek", he looks around... nothing, so he raises his arm, goes to kill it and again hears a quiet "eeeek" .. looking down he sees the squid and it again goes "eeek". He then finds he can't bring himself to kill the squid. So he looks across the kitchen and sees Hans, the dishwasher. "Hans! Come over here and kill this squid for me so I can prepare a dish for the Mayor". Hans is bored with his dishwashing job and thinks to himself that if he can do this job properly he can make it as a chef, I really need to prove myself by doing a job properly. So he raises his arm, knife in hand and goes to kill the squid. "Eeeek" he hears, strange he thinks... and looks around... nothing.. so he goes to kill the squid and again... a quiet "eeeek". He looks down and sees the squid and it again goes... "eeeek" . Hans is troubled.. he wants to prove himself but is obviously having troubles, he raises his arm again brings knife down and just before he does the squid quietly goes "eeeeek". Hans realises that he doesn't have the heart to kill the squid and the Mayor misses out on his cordon bleu meal. The Moral of this story?For Hans that do dishes can be as soft as Gervais, with mild scream hairy lip squid...

Original Poster

nikkib123;5783265

Ewwwwwwwww stop with the "fat" pics! Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!



Ditto!

nikkib123;5783265

Ewwwwwwwww stop with the "fat" pics! Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!



ok:thumbsup:

http://www.wayodd.com/funny-pictures2/funny-pictures-steroids-naahhh-0q5.jpg

transit;5783296



Wow...lol....looks as if all of these guys have been stuffed with peanut M&Ms.... :lol:

Original Poster

nikkib123;5783307

Is that BG1 in the middle ha ha :-D



He wishes!! :roll:

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and,having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other forsupport aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she Leans against the fence, the old man moves in..

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policemanhas ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

transit;5783296



that last one is actually disgusting, it is WAY over the top!!

nikkib123;5783360

It is really really vile!



Just think of the stamina factor Niks...:w00t:

nikkib123;5783374

I would be scared of him bursting! And not in a good way!



Wow...lol ...I'd be more concerned about him bursting you! :w00t:

Original Poster

Bingo83;5783342

[img]http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/fail-owned-penguin-photographer-fail.jpg?w=500&h=334[/img]When I need cheering up i trawl some of these sites for pics to put a smile on your facehttp://failblog.org/http://pictureisunrelated.com/http://thisisphotobomb.com/



Will defo check them out. Thanks :thumbsup:

Original Poster

skusey;5783350

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time … The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and,having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other forsupport aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she Leans against the fence, the old man moves in..Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policemanhas ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'



:thumbsup: go onto e-bay and key in these two item numbers that should make you laugh or wince 320397854098 & 320399582862.....nice tattoo;-)

Mr Weasle;5783443

:thumbsup: go onto e-bay and key in these two item numbers that should … :thumbsup: go onto e-bay and key in these two item numbers that should make you laugh or wince 320397854098 & 320399582862.....nice tattoo;-)



OMG!! Thats so funny :-D

Original Poster

Mr Weasle;5783443

:thumbsup: go onto e-bay and key in these two item numbers that should … :thumbsup: go onto e-bay and key in these two item numbers that should make you laugh or wince 320397854098 & 320399582862.....nice tattoo;-)



Some people have no shame!! lolololol :-D

Bingo83;5783342

[img]http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/fail-owned-penguin-photographer-fail.jpg?w=500&h=334[/img]



that is epic

transit;5783296

ok:thumbsup:





The one in the middles got 3 legs and 4 arms... pmsl good camera angles

yummymummymel;5783623

The one in the middles got 3 legs and 4 arms... pmsl good camera angles



LOL :lol: +1

Wife says to Hubby "you make Love like you decorate"
he replies "What... slow with smooth strokes and professional finish?"
"no" she replies, "more like the council, you just whack it up, leave a mess and i have to finish the job myself"!!.

Awww sweetie, I hope you feel better soon x x

Banned

wow this has been the wierdest thread in awhile lol! from fat people to body builders to really really long jokes that no one can be bothered to read

kapows;5785165

wow this has been the wierdest thread in awhile lol! from fat people to … wow this has been the wierdest thread in awhile lol! from fat people to body builders to really really long jokes that no one can be bothered to read


:w00t:

http://bostondirtdogs.boston.com/Headline_Archives/BDD_tumbleweed_head_perfectuk.jpg

Banned

and another..............

this never fails to make me laugh

http://i564.photobucket.com/albums/ss86/micoo91/excuseme.jpg
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