Intersex, bipolar, weight loss and OCD patient

33
Posted 7th Jan
So I am currently a secondary school teacher who has been diagnosed with the following:

An intersex condition (lots of previous surgery linked to this)
Bipolar episode in my earlier twenties which was quite a big episode and required lots of recovery (this was 10+ year ago) - happened before I got into teaching
Weight loss surgery and huge weight loss after being morbidly obese

I have previously swore my headteacher to secrecy due to being quite insecure about it but my feelings have changed quite a bit in the last two years.

Therefore I am seriously considering coming out with a public social media presence and also helping others in my situations but also slightly worried about how I may feel about this afterwards.

I must add, I've been born and raised a female and most people never suspect otherwise. I identity as lesbian although the chromesomes don't match.

I'm also Muslim just to add that into the mix!

Could anyone offer any helpful advice?
Community Updates
Ask
Top comments
Seriously, this is a site for bargains. Live changing decisions like this shouldn’t be took lightly. Everyone will have an opinion but if there not in your shoes will never be able to understand and give advice. Surely there must be forums with others who have the same conditions..
To be fair they’ve been a member since 2009, so this is probably their go to website. It’s a question and it’s in the “ask” section, so let them ask away.
How about becoming a Vegan as well?
Then you'll nearly have the full set
If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a minority and most people will not be able to give advice that you can relate to, so I apologise in advance, but my advice would be to stay strong despite any difficulties you face in life. There won't be much tailored to you and you may feel pushed one way or another, but just stay strong and understand that not everyone can be accommodated for.
For instance, I think it's stupid to have "male" toilets and "female" toilets, and my workplace simply branded the disabled toilets the "gender neutral" toilet. I think they should all just be individual cubicles, with communal washrooms.
All the best.
33 Comments
Seriously, this is a site for bargains. Live changing decisions like this shouldn’t be took lightly. Everyone will have an opinion but if there not in your shoes will never be able to understand and give advice. Surely there must be forums with others who have the same conditions..
Yes, you are mad to do it on here as part of your plan. would recommend you delete the thread!
Thread reported for the sake of all.
You really want to ask this on a shopping forum to random strangers. Surely there are forums which specialise in this subject.
To be fair they’ve been a member since 2009, so this is probably their go to website. It’s a question and it’s in the “ask” section, so let them ask away.
How about becoming a Vegan as well?
Then you'll nearly have the full set
I have no answers though...
Derek_Fortescue_Shatwell07/01/2020 20:08

How about becoming a Vegan as well?Then you'll nearly have the full set …How about becoming a Vegan as well?Then you'll nearly have the full set


That will sort everything, it always does..
I think perhaps try and contact others who may have been in a similar situation.

I’m sure there will be forums and support groups online where others would be willing to share their experiences offer advice.

Have a google and see what’s you find.
If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a minority and most people will not be able to give advice that you can relate to, so I apologise in advance, but my advice would be to stay strong despite any difficulties you face in life. There won't be much tailored to you and you may feel pushed one way or another, but just stay strong and understand that not everyone can be accommodated for.
For instance, I think it's stupid to have "male" toilets and "female" toilets, and my workplace simply branded the disabled toilets the "gender neutral" toilet. I think they should all just be individual cubicles, with communal washrooms.
All the best.
Jordan Peterson says say it. You got something that needs to be said don't wonder what would happen. Just get it out. What's worse. Not saying something or going for it and seeing what happens. Think op is testing the water here. I can't say if this is right place. On a lighter note. I'm going to try that burger king veggie burger. I want to tell everyone here I'm flexitarian.
Edited by: "wayners" 7th Jan
A word of warning, you say you're Muslim but you go on to say that you're lesbian. As far as I understand, these two things are mutually exclusive. However, if you are intersex then the fact that you are only attracted to women does not necessarily mean that you are lesbian (and therefore shunned by the Muslim community). Maybe you should have been brought up as male. In any case, as I said, you are in the minority and most rules won't apply to you so please stay strong and don't be disheartened by what anyone says.


Edit: I just realised you want advice regarding coming out in a social media presence. Look, people are just gonna see "Muslim" and "lesbian" and give you death threats. They will totally ignore "intersex" and how it affects your actions/feelings. Most people are stupid and sheep and I worry you might not put your situation out properly enough to make people understand.
Edited by: "MadeDixonsCry" 7th Jan
wayners07/01/2020 20:22

Jordan Peterson says say it. You got something that needs to be said don't …Jordan Peterson says say it. You got something that needs to be said don't wonder what would happen. Just get it out. What's worse. Not saying something or going for it and seeing what happens. Think op is testing the water here. I can't say if this is right place. On a lighter note. I'm going to try that burger king veggie burger. I want to tell everyone here I'm flexitarian.


All very well saying that but it’s not you who has to deal with the fall out, there’s to many narrow minded people out there...
I think you need to have a good think and maybe find an online group who you can talk to first. In my experience with people you work with.... many will be supportive at first, many will turn on you and 'gossip' when the novelty has worn off.

I know a couple of people who had weight loss surgery, I told one them to be cautious about who they discussed it with at work (because of another friends experience)... to cut it short they changed jobs and never discussed the surgery again due to nasty comments.

A lady with Bipolar, working in the same company and job i worked in was not supported by colleges, people actually got quite nasty if they thought someone was getting different treatment, which is stupid.

Ignorance of things like, weight loss surgery and mental health are still beyond reasonable compassionate understanding for most.... you only have to look at the some of the comments above to understand this.

What ever you do, don't rush.... sounds like you have been through one bloody hell of a time. Maybe build up your social / friend network first, or look to do some helpline work?

I wish you well on your journey.
MadeDixonsCry07/01/2020 20:19

If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a …If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a minority and most people will not be able to give advice that you can relate to, so I apologise in advance, but my advice would be to stay strong despite any difficulties you face in life. There won't be much tailored to you and you may feel pushed one way or another, but just stay strong and understand that not everyone can be accommodated for. For instance, I think it's stupid to have "male" toilets and "female" toilets, and my workplace simply branded the disabled toilets the "gender neutral" toilet. I think they should all just be individual cubicles, with communal washrooms. All the best.


How am i able to check on my competitors?
llukejames07/01/2020 21:36

How am i able to check on my competitors?


No need to. No man is ever enough for a woman. 39618705-18paG.jpg
A friend of mine had 'gender alignment surgery' (sex change, male to female). Her family were the worst for being judgmental - the ones you'd expect to be supportive. The people he worked with before the OP gave her grief afterwards for about 2 seconds, she's still the same person and they see that ( though none of us can understand how he could reverse a coach before but afterwards she can't!). A lot of the reaction was mitigated by her attitude, a practical, matter of fact Approach and a blunt "have you got any questions" helped. Even the schoolkids just accepted her (and we all know how cruel kids can be). So be prepared to be surprised by the reactions you get.
On a more practical advice tact.. Leave your religion out of it - that's between you and your God. Don't be ashamed of anything, but also there is no need to set yourself up for a beasting. Same with the weight loss, again its a health issue and between you and healthcare staff - you wouldn't go shouting about an STD or your hemorrhoids.
Is a brave thing to do, coming out, but you've done the hardest part and survived. Congratulations.
Time too be You. Time to be HAPPY.
Edited by: "Ringfinger" 7th Jan
MadeDixonsCry07/01/2020 20:19

If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a …If you really are intersex then I feel for you because you really are in a minority and most people will not be able to give advice that you can relate to, so I apologise in advance, but my advice would be to stay strong despite any difficulties you face in life. There won't be much tailored to you and you may feel pushed one way or another, but just stay strong and understand that not everyone can be accommodated for. For instance, I think it's stupid to have "male" toilets and "female" toilets, and my workplace simply branded the disabled toilets the "gender neutral" toilet. I think they should all just be individual cubicles, with communal washrooms. All the best.


Yea everyone should experience having to traverse a loo liberally sprayed by the male hose pipe
Ringfinger07/01/2020 21:43

A friend of mine had 'gender alignment surgery' (sex change, male to …A friend of mine had 'gender alignment surgery' (sex change, male to female). Her family were the worst for being judgmental - the ones you'd expect to be supportive. The people he worked with before the OP gave her grief afterwards for about 2 seconds, she's still the same person and they see that ( though none of us can understand how he could reverse a coach before but afterwards she can't!). A lot of the reaction was mitigated by her attitude, a practical, matter of fact Approach and a blunt "have you got any questions" helped. Even the schoolkids just accepted her (and we all know how cruel kids can be). So be prepared to be surprised by the reactions you get.On a more practical advice tact.. Leave your religion out of it - that's between you and your God. Don't be ashamed of anything, but also there is no need to set yourself up for a beasting. Same with the weight loss, again its a health issue and between you and healthcare staff - you wouldn't go shouting about an STD or your hemorrhoids.Is a brave thing to do, coming out, but you've done the hardest part and survived. Congratulations.Time too be You. Time to be HAPPY.


This really big brought a smile to my face
39619703-kLh7z.jpg
adamderak07/01/2020 23:24

Yea everyone should experience having to traverse a loo liberally sprayed …Yea everyone should experience having to traverse a loo liberally sprayed by the male hose pipe


Tech from 2014:

Or you could, you know, ask users to treat toilets with respect? It's not only those with a hose that disrespect toilets...


39619911-fS4cz.jpg

If you don't have constructive criticism please don't derail the thread.
"So I am currently a secondary school teacher who has been diagnosed with the following:... Could anyone offer any helpful advice?"

It depends if you believe that starting a sentence with a conjunction is an accepted practice.
Derek_Fortescue_Shatwell07/01/2020 20:08

How about becoming a Vegan as well?Then you'll nearly have the full set …How about becoming a Vegan as well?Then you'll nearly have the full set


...or an ignoramus. Then you would have something in common with those that feel the need to keep using somebody's diet or their lifestyle choice as a form of mockery that can so easily be seen as abuse.

Happy new year!
Ringfinger07/01/2020 21:43

A friend of mine had 'gender alignment surgery' (sex change, male to …A friend of mine had 'gender alignment surgery' (sex change, male to female). Her family were the worst for being judgmental - the ones you'd expect to be supportive. The people he worked with before the OP gave her grief afterwards for about 2 seconds, she's still the same person and they see that ( though none of us can understand how he could reverse a coach before but afterwards she can't!). A lot of the reaction was mitigated by her attitude, a practical, matter of fact Approach and a blunt "have you got any questions" helped. Even the schoolkids just accepted her (and we all know how cruel kids can be). So be prepared to be surprised by the reactions you get.On a more practical advice tact.. Leave your religion out of it - that's between you and your God. Don't be ashamed of anything, but also there is no need to set yourself up for a beasting. Same with the weight loss, again its a health issue and between you and healthcare staff - you wouldn't go shouting about an STD or your hemorrhoids.Is a brave thing to do, coming out, but you've done the hardest part and survived. Congratulations.Time too be You. Time to be HAPPY.


Do unicorns live in your world as well?
wayners07/01/2020 20:22

Jordan Peterson says say it. You got something that needs to be said don't …Jordan Peterson says say it. You got something that needs to be said don't wonder what would happen. Just get it out. What's worse. Not saying something or going for it and seeing what happens. Think op is testing the water here. I can't say if this is right place. On a lighter note. I'm going to try that burger king veggie burger. I want to tell everyone here I'm flexitarian.



Jordan Peterson is a plank.
mas9908/01/2020 07:41

Jordan Peterson is a plank.


Good job there is an off button then.
Try this Reddit forum.
Plenty of ignorant bigotry on display in this thread.
it sounds like you got a whole load of problems, which all started from your birth with intersex problems. that probably was the driver for all the subsequent problems. your ethnic background made things more difficult for you as it is not as blaze and accepting of people being different as other cultures.

i hope you still have family support as that is very important. you need to speak to a qualified counsellor who can give you guidance on what you should do and who can give you support. i got a leaflet through the post recently that offers free counselling through the NHS for free online psychological therapy. it was only available in surrey so i don't know if it is available where you are, but something like that will definitely be helpful to you.

'I am seriously considering coming out with a public social media presence and also helping others' - not sure what you mean by this coming out statement. do you mean you tell people that you have all these issues that you have never told anyone before? and why the need for social media? what is all that about? come out with a bang?

and i wouldn't worry too much about helping others as i don't think there are many people with as many issues as you have, and your first priority is to help yourself, which will already be a difficult task, so let other people deal with their own problems and just concentrate on dealing with yours in your best interest.
Teacher?
Forget it, kids can be cruel, and parents can be worse, don't set yourself up for a lot of heartache
mutley108/01/2020 13:04

...so let other people deal with their own problems and just concentrate …...so let other people deal with their own problems and just concentrate on dealing with yours in your best interest.


The "Ask" Forum?

39636048-t4QY2.jpg
matth999909/01/2020 20:13

Teacher?Forget it, kids can be cruel, and parents can be worse, don't set …Teacher?Forget it, kids can be cruel, and parents can be worse, don't set yourself up for a lot of heartache


These stakeholders are my biggest worry for those reasons
If you want to discuss the issues, maybe blog under a pseudonym
Post a comment
Avatar
@
    Text

    Discussions

    Top Merchants