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    Irish Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

    Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A
    Millionaire' and
    Towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.

    You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the show's
    presenter,
    'but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left -
    phone a
    Friend. Everything is riding on this question......will you go
    for it?'

    'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!' 'Which of the following
    birds does
    NOT build its own nest?'

    A : Sparrow

    B: Thrush

    C: Magpie

    D: Cuckoo

    I haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use me last
    lifeline and phone
    Me friend Paddy back home in Dublin '. Mick called up his
    mate, and told
    Him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

    'Fookin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's simple......it's a
    cuckoo.'

    'Are you sure?'

    'I'm fookin sure.' Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,
    'I'll go wit
    Cuckoo as me answer.'

    'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris

    'Dat it is, Sir.'

    There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter
    screamed, 'Cuckoo is
    The correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!'

    The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy
    him a drink.

    'Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was Da
    Cuckoo that
    Doesn't build its own nest?



    'Because he lives in a Fookin clock!'

    22 Comments

    a thick irishman and a tight scotsman, cant wait to see who you're going to offend next. the welsh maybe?

    Is it the 1980's again? I thought "stupid Irish" jokes were considered poor taste?

    Hergé's Adventures of Michael and Patrick.

    ever so slightly racist! haha.

    >

    Banned

    why's this racist? its just stereotyping nothing racist about it

    I wouldn't be offended by a joke about an englishman

    Are the Irish a race then? Hmmm. Learn something new every day on here.

    :giggle:

    Shengis;5776838

    Are the Irish a race then? Hmmm. Learn something new every day on here.




    By one definition yes.

    Race (n) . A group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution:

    Try this joke again and substitute "Irish" for "Muslim" and "Paddy & Mick" for "Allah and Mohammed". Then see if people object...

    lumoruk;5776834

    why's this racist? its just stereotyping nothing racist about itI … why's this racist? its just stereotyping nothing racist about itI wouldn't be offended by a joke about an englishman



    In a train compartment there were a Scotsman, an Englishman, a spectacular looking blonde and a really awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Englishman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

    The blonde thought, “That Englishman son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face.”

    The fat lady thought, “This dirty old Englishman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him.”

    The Englishman thought, “That ****ing Scotsman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.”

    The Scotsman thought, “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack that English ******* again.”

    Spam Dog sounds like a vicar....no sense of humour or just using outdated jokes for a reason.

    Kill The Penguin!

    Original Poster

    Meadsy4742;5776913

    Spam Dog sounds like a vicar....no sense of humour or just using outdated … Spam Dog sounds like a vicar....no sense of humour or just using outdated jokes for a reason.

    FFS man lighten up, It's only afew crappy jokes, Ehh what would be my reason for posting jokes other than to give people a chuckle??

    Banned

    branchinghenk;5776876

    In a train compartment there were a Scotsman, an Englishman, a … In a train compartment there were a Scotsman, an Englishman, a spectacular looking blonde and a really awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Englishman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.



    lol that's insulting the scot and the englishman because the englishman is saying the scotsman slaps like a woman :whistling:

    everyone is soooooooooooooooo racist, is this hot bnp deals? haha.

    suchafunkymonkey;5776864

    By one definition yes. Race (n) . A group of people united or classified … By one definition yes. Race (n) . A group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution:Try this joke again and substitute "Irish" for "Muslim" and "Paddy & Mick" for "Allah and Mohammed". Then see if people object...



    That is so tenuous. By that definition a joke about the french eating snails is racist :lol:

    Original Poster

    Lets put a stop to all this PC racist bull ****, For a start i'm Scotish and secondly my name is McMahon and I have Irish heritage on both sides of my family, So get off you high horses a get a grip FFS.

    Padraig Irishman Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Englishman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden,Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible
    crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
    However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    Paddy Scots was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
    "Please tie a pillow to my back."
    This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. Paddy Englishman was next up. After watching the Scot in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

    But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Englishmen was soon led away whimpering loudly

    Paddy Irishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

    "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", Paddy Irishman replied.In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you
    give me not 20 lashes but, 100 lashes."

    "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

    "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And you're second wish?"

    "Tie the Englishman to my back."

    Original Poster

    rugger-tyke;5777136

    'PC ********'. hmm

    I sorry that these jokes upset you so much, If you tell me what kind of comedy/comedians you like i'll post you some jokes that you'll find suitable, Hope to hear from you soon.:-D

    veiled racism, nice.

    Original Poster

    rugger-tyke;5777298

    veiled racism, nice.

    Massive chip on your shoulder mate, I'll bet your the type of person that campaigned for Black boards to be called chalk boards and the banning of nativity plays in schools or the now famous Ba Ba rainbow sheep, To be honest aren't we all racist in one way or another??

    rugger-tyke;5777298

    veiled racism, nice.



    I'm with you mate, this country is unbelieveable, i live near a town called Blackburn.
    This is a town full of BNP members who decided to name it after one of their policies.

    Its a disgrace.






    :w00t:
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