Is this era of parents better off............

89 replies
Found 27th Nov 2007
I am 42 with one 20 year old and one 11 year old and i think life is far harder both financially and emotionally more stressful than in my parents era. I have just had a conversation with my mother and she has as always said how they always managed, they had nothing and things were far harder but i think its harder now. Views please

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I would say yes...and no.

I think we expect far more from life now. Just look at the things we do compared to our parents. I am thinking travel, holidays, quality of life.etc. etc. They didnt have the money or ability (tranport) to do things that we can.

Look at the amount of women who work compared to 'housewife' Britain of the last gen. My OH is full time on all fronts (lawyer/housewife/mum) and no one cna say that is easy. Not that i am saying my housewife mum had it easy - far from it...but if you hold down a job as well it is difficult.

I think brining kids up is harder. I would never have looked at my parents the wrong way or else...eldest is a wee bit big for her boots at the moment!!. I do not think i am any softer on her than my folks were to me. I just think discipline & respect (or lack) for elders is a thing of the past. I also think there are a lot of other things we need to protect our kids from these days. Just look at the news!

hey ho...but its Xmas soon:santa:

Banned

I certaily dont think we have it harder, and thinks its hard to measure if we do. I know when my parents your younger my mother looked after children and home and my father worked and now it seems alot of families have two working parents. I know both of my children like me at home, although the eldest would probably now say she would like me in work so we could have more money

No we don't have it harder.

I've brought my kids up to know that if we can't afford it we can't have it and that includes holidays and expensive gifts.

Family life comes first before work and the mortgage but a lot of parents seen to forget this and try and make it up with expensive holidays and presents.

They are then stuck with credit card bills and see the kids even less trying to pay the cards off.

stora

No we don't have it harder.I've brought my kids up to know that if we … No we don't have it harder.I've brought my kids up to know that if we can't afford it we can't have it and that includes holidays and expensive gifts.Family life comes first before work and the mortgage but a lot of parents seen to forget this and try and make it up with expensive holidays and presents.They are then stuck with credit card bills and see the kids even less trying to pay the cards off.



This is a genuine observation, I'm not being provocative.........how much do you get these days for having a child? Isn't there a one-off lump sum payment followed by 16 years of God-knows-how-much a week?

I ask because

(a) I don't have children,
(b) I remember my mum and dad telling me that they had a can of tomato soup between them for Christmas Day dinner because they'd spent every penny they had on prezzies for me and
(c) I've never understood the concept of getting handouts for having kids........I wouldn't buy a Rolls Royce and then go to the Government and say "hey, I need you to financially help me run this thing".

As I said, these are genuine observations........I'd think this generation of parents have it a lot better than my parents (1960's).

Original Poster

Chuckles1066

This is a genuine observation, I'm not being provocative.........how much … This is a genuine observation, I'm not being provocative.........how much do you get these days for having a child? Isn't there a one-off lump sum payment followed by 16 years of God-knows-how-much a week?I ask because (a) I don't have children, (b) I remember my mum and dad telling me that they had a can of tomato soup between them for Christmas Day dinner because they'd spent every penny they had on prezzies for me and(c) I've never understood the concept of getting handouts for having kids........I wouldn't buy a Rolls Royce and then go to the Government and say "hey, I need you to financially help me run this thing".As I said, these are genuine observations........I'd think this generation of parents have it a lot better than my parents (1960's).



Only if two parents work though. MOST people had no luxuries. NOW most people have luxuries. Single or in a couple.

eradication of freedoms by uncareing goverments plus the continus pressures from a spend spend society mean todays its way harder to exsist , money wise were way worse off due to the normallity and nessassety of spending , there was once a time when once the bill money of rent , elec , gas and rates what was left was your own and it was clear and concise on what you could afford or not , once food was taken out whatever was left was for clothes and whatever else be it beer and fags ,,,,,,, not broadband subscriptions , or phone bills , rac cover , massive car loans , house insurance etc etc these things are a nessassety in todays britan

then theres the erosion of the british idiology by foreign forces of either the people whom now live in this country or the bloody TV sprouting rubbish such as japanese cartoons rammed to the gills with violence , feel safe on the streets ? feel its safe for the kids to grow up in this world as it is ? more pressures then

then theres work , once it was clear cut ,if you had a brain you got to follow your father into his company and aim to exceed his position in life ,a job was for life , my father told me how he would go to work in the morning and finish but working for a different company in the evening , it was that easy , now theres zero job security at all , lots of financual commitments ? worried yet ? know anyone whos had the same job for more than 5 yrs ? concerned ?

were in trouble and dont even know how much

izzzzythedog

eradication of freedoms by uncareing goverments plus the continus … eradication of freedoms by uncareing goverments plus the continus pressures from a spend spend society mean todays its way harder to exsist , money wise were way worse off due to the normallity and nessassety of spending , there was once a time when once the bill money of rent , elec , gas and rates what was left was your own and it was clear and concise on what you could afford or not , once food was taken out whatever was left was for clothes and whatever else be it beer and fags ,,,,,,, not broadband subscriptions , or phone bills , rac cover , massive car loans , house insurance etc etc these things are a nessassety in todays britan then theres the erosion of the british idiology by foreign forces of either the people whom now live in this country or the bloody TV sprouting rubbish such as japanese cartoons rammed to the gills with violence , feel safe on the streets ? feel its safe for the kids to grow up in this world as it is ? more pressures then then theres work , once it was clear cut ,if you had a brain you got to follow your father into his company and aim to exceed his position in life ,a job was for life , my father told me how he would go to work in the morning and finish but working for a different company in the evening , it was that easy , now theres zero job security at all , lots of financual commitments ? worried yet ? know anyone whos had the same job for more than 5 yrs ? concerned ?were in trouble and dont even know how much



merry christmas:santa:

izzzzythedog

eradication of freedoms by uncareing goverments plus the continus



I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first nine words of your post prevented me from reading any further............sorry.

marshallka

I am 42 with one 20 year old and one 11 year old and i think life is far … I am 42 with one 20 year old and one 11 year old and i think life is far harder both financially and emotionally more stressful than in my parents era. I have just had a conversation with my mother and she has as always said how they always managed, they had nothing and things were far harder but i think its harder now. Views please


Its going to be a lot harder for people like me and your son - ages 18-25 as the prices of houses and other stuff are way too high

All the houses in my area are £350k and a 1 bedroom flat is around £170k so i will have to move somewhere else to live which is really hard

Everything revolves around money now

dandoc2

Its going to be a lot harder for people like me and your son - ages 18-25 … Its going to be a lot harder for people like me and your son - ages 18-25 as the prices of houses and other stuff are way too high All the houses in my area are £350k and a 1 bedroom flat is around £170k so i will have to move somewhere else to live which is really hard Everything revolves around money now



I agree. My son is 18 and is sharing a 2 bed apartment with friends. They pay £595 per month just for rent, split 3 ways isnt too bad. But he would love to buy a place of his own, around here a 3 bed semi is approx £160k but it is still out of his reach as yet. I assume you live down south dan?

Chuckles1066

I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first … I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first nine words of your post prevented me from reading any further............sorry.



im dyslexic , this isnt a joke , kindly concider theres a good reason some people cant spell , i do the best i can , sorry if its not upto your exacting standards

Original Poster

izzzzythedog

im dyslexic , this isnt a joke , kindly concider theres a good reason … im dyslexic , this isnt a joke , kindly concider theres a good reason some people cant spell , i do the best i can , sorry if its not upto your exacting standards


yes, i found it very rude to be pulling you up on your spelling too. Keep posting and take no notice.:thumbsup:

izzzzythedog

, feel safe on the streets ? feel its safe for the kids to grow up in … , feel safe on the streets ? feel its safe for the kids to grow up in this world as it is ?



My Gran always talks about it being so violent in the UK nowadays- I have to remind her that Grandad was off killing Germans and most of her hometown was on fire on a nightly basis bwhen she was younger...

bitseylango

I agree. My son is 18 and is sharing a 2 bed apartment with friends. They … I agree. My son is 18 and is sharing a 2 bed apartment with friends. They pay £595 per month just for rent, split 3 ways isnt too bad. But he would love to buy a place of his own, around here a 3 bed semi is approx £160k but it is still out of his reach as yet. I assume you live down south dan?


Live in Wallington Surrey - my parents bought this 4 bed semi with garage for like £60k in 1994 now work £350k

Id have to have a job that earnt at least £25k to pay for a mortgage

My sister is a pcso (community police) in london and shes on about £23k at 21 and we were saying to her if she moved out she wouldnt survive cost you like £800 a month rent round here plus shes got car insurance - sky tv - electricity bills - lighting - gas bills -

She doesnt take home £23k she gets like £17k which is a joke so she'd have here own place but no money to enjoy it maybe £100-200 spare to spend on what she wanted

I dont have a job now but if i was on like £6 and hour and worked 40 hours a week i couldnt pay for anything id be in debt from taking out loans

My mum says she'd rather have us living at home and spending what we want than being on our own and struggling to surive

Which is true


billyX

My Gran always talks about it being so violent in the UK nowadays- I have … My Gran always talks about it being so violent in the UK nowadays- I have to remind her that Grandad was off killing Germans and most of her hometown was on fire on a nightly basis bwhen she was younger...


Yer but violence has gone extreme nowadays - more rapes -murders during the war everyone in the country was united so there was much less crime

marshallka

We only bought our property about 11 year ago and we have double the … We only bought our property about 11 year ago and we have double the mortgage now we started with.



There's your problem.

Right there.

In my parents' generation, everyone rented from the local authority and everyone was equal............hardly anyone bought their properties and, consequently, there was none of this "jealousy crime" where your house gets broken into just because you have a better plasma tv than the local unemployed smackhead.

Trust me, today's generation have never had it so good.

billyX

My Gran always talks about it being so violent in the UK nowadays- I have … My Gran always talks about it being so violent in the UK nowadays- I have to remind her that Grandad was off killing Germans and most of her hometown was on fire on a nightly basis bwhen she was younger...



my mum is the same! she always goes on about the good old days, when the streets were safer, you could leave your front door unlocked etc... she also forgets that she had TB and bloody ricketts!!!!:whistling:

marshallka

yes, i found it very rude to be pulling you up on your spelling too. Keep … yes, i found it very rude to be pulling you up on your spelling too. Keep posting and take no notice.:thumbsup:



If you can point out to me which bit of my post was "rude", I'll gladly revise my posting style.

Original Poster

Chuckles1066

I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first … I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first nine words of your post prevented me from reading any further............sorry.


i felt there was no need to mention the spelling mistakes. Never have i seen this on here before. Sorry if i upset you.:)

dandoc2

Live in Wallington Surrey - my parents bought this 4 bed semi with garage … Live in Wallington Surrey - my parents bought this 4 bed semi with garage for like £60k in 1994 now work £350k My mum says she'd rather have us living at home and spending what we want than being on our own and struggling to surive



wow, those prices are amazingly high, we live in a nice suburb just outside Nottm, for our 3 bed semi we paid £56k in1995 and it is now worth £160K, nice little profit but to move on up would entail a massive rise in repayments and we are just not willing to get into that debt.
It was my sons decision to move out, just before his 18th birthday, as he has a good job and loves his freedom! i know he is struggling a little with all the bills he never took into consideration before but he has to live and learn as we all do. my door will always be open for him :thumbsup:

marshallka

i felt there was no need to mention the spelling mistakes. Never have i … i felt there was no need to mention the spelling mistakes. Never have i seen this on here before. Sorry if i upset you.:)



You didn't upset me, but in an environment where the written word is all you have to go on, it helps if the words conform to OED definitions. It makes it so much easier to follow.

The trouble these days is someone can be dyslexic, uneducated or can simply be using "mobile phone text speak"............and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

financially better off I'd say...lets face it we do have more to spend on luxuries, partly because the luxuries have become so much cheaper...but pressure wise I think we are worse off, this generation of children have much higher expectations and also more 'rights' than the children of the previous generation.

Chuckles1066

You didn't upset me, but in an environment where the written word is all … You didn't upset me, but in an environment where the written word is all you have to go on, it helps if the words conform to OED definitions. It makes it so much easier to follow.The trouble these days is someone can be dyslexic, uneducated or can simply be using "mobile phone text speak"............and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.



Your assumption is I have a capacity to spell to an exacting standard , this is arrogant at the very least , you posted you wouldn't read the post due the nature of the spelling and didn't conceder I may not have the ability , the content wasn't a consideration only presentation , do you tell people in wheelchairs to stop sitting on there **** all day ? arrogant and ignorant isn't a good place to be

izzzzythedog

Your assumption is I have a capacity to spell to an exacting standard , … Your assumption is I have a capacity to spell to an exacting standard , this is arrogant at the very least , you posted you wouldn't read the post due the nature of the spelling and didn't conceder I may not have the ability , the content wasn't a consideration only presentation , do you tell people in wheelchairs to stop sitting on there **** all day ? arrogant and ignorant isn't a good place to be



Hmmm, now that post contained only one spelling mistake in 72 words.

Eminently readable.

You seem to be selective in your dyslexia?

Chuckles1066

I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first … I'm sure you meant well but three glaring spelling mistakes in the first nine words of your post prevented me from reading any further............sorry.



Hope you feel better now. We all understood what the message was about.

thesolutioncafe.com/pub…tml

So sorry for the one mistake , seems even this site isn't up to your standards of proof reading .

Better off in some respects and worse off in some also.

We have appliances that make life easy,washers,dishwashers etc,no more shopping for fresh produce daily because we can bulk buy and freeze,no more boil washing towels and sheets,or mangling,central heating so that we are cosy,no more cleaning out of the chimney,disposable nappies............etc etc.

However we are a consumerist society now,much wants more and we want to keep up with the Jonses',not for us two weeks by the seaside,we want to go to far flung places.

Like someone has said already,home buying is a fairly recent thing to become the norm,Maggie Thatcher started the boom of house buying,offering the opportunity to buy council houses.Council estates used to be communities,now some are no go areas(I hasten to add that not all are!)

Life in many respects used to be simpler in that roles for men and women were defined,though in many respects they worked harder...in the physical sense.Now the roles are less defined,women are not just mothers and homemakers,they have careers and men are not just the breadwinners,they come home and look after the kids also.Children also have a slightly different role,they used to be 'seen and not heard' but nowadays they demand their rights and in some ways are much less disciplined.

The world has changed and we have to move along with it as best we can.

Chuckles1066

Hmmm, now that post contained only one spelling mistake in 72 … Hmmm, now that post contained only one spelling mistake in 72 words.Eminently readable.You seem to be selective in your dyslexia?


you are now just being downright rude

dandoc2

Yer but violence has gone extreme nowadays - more rapes -murders during … Yer but violence has gone extreme nowadays - more rapes -murders during the war everyone in the country was united so there was much less crime



Dan, don't base your idea of what it wa like in the 40s/50s on old episodes of Goodnight Sweetheart! The country was sort of united but there was a massive crime underbelly supplying goods, stealing, etc, and as for rapes and murders- well, it's only effectively since the early 90s that there has been any sort of formal procedure for reporting rapes, before this many just wouldnt get reported (many still dont now) and as for murder, it's sort of a constant, just with a bit more press recently because of drug wars. And don't forget drugs and crime related to drugs has been around *forever*

Nothing ever really changes, perception just shifts. My mum and dad reflect on when they were first married and couldnt afford a fridge for about a year as being really romantic and 'of the time' wheras in reality they probably moaned about it and were fed up with warm milk kept in a bucket of water in the garden.

stora

Hope you feel better now. We all understood what the message was about.



"we all" being?

You weren't presuming to speak for every person reading this thread were you? :-D

bitseylango

you are now just being downright rude



lol, your generation is so wrapped up in cotton wool you can't deal with *any* sort of criticism can you?

Jesus, no wonder the country's going downhill faster than a slalom skier on speed.

I wonder how your generation would cope with being asked to pick up a weapon and stand at post............"oooh no, I'm not touching that, where's my Claims Direct lawyer, my feelings have been hurt".

muckypup

Like someone has said already,home buying is a fairly recent thing to … Like someone has said already,home buying is a fairly recent thing to become the norm,Maggie Thatcher started the boom of house buying,offering the opportunity to buy council houses.Council estates used to be communities,now some are no go areas(I hasten to add that not all are!)can.



Why have you picked up on Council estates, I'm sure some private estates are just as bad?

In fact the thieving sods from the private estate near us came and pinched all the new fencing from around the pensioners bungalows.

Chuckles1066

"we all" being?You weren't presuming to speak for every person reading … "we all" being?You weren't presuming to speak for every person reading this thread were you? :-D



Yes and we being the people sitting around my PC.

stora

Yes and we being the people sitting around my PC.



So you and the kitten then? :-D

Chuckles1066

So you and the kitten then? :-D



Go away and get back to your homework.
In fact PM me if you wish to discuss this further.

stora

Go away and get back to your homework.



:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:

I did enough of that 30 years ago............I'd be worried if it formed part of my recreational activities these days!

Chuckles1066

Hmmm, now that post contained only one spelling mistake in 72 … Hmmm, now that post contained only one spelling mistake in 72 words.Eminently readable.You seem to be selective in your dyslexia?




Your comments are shocking and unnecessary.

tinz11

Your comments are shocking and unnecessary.



Shocking?!?!?!

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

stora

Why have you picked up on Council estates, I'm sure some private estates … Why have you picked up on Council estates, I'm sure some private estates are just as bad?In fact the thieving sods from the private estate near us came and pinched all the new fencing from around the pensioners bungalows.


I did not mean to pick on council estates,as I said NOT ALL are like that,and I am sure some private estates are just as bad.

My work often entails working on council estates and some are not nice,some have no sense of pride,populations can be somewhat transient in these areas so there is no sense of ownership of the place where you live.Private estates do not,as a rule,suffer that particular problem.

Municipal housing used to be the norm for many,now it is not,hence the stigma that can be attached.I in no way wish to denegrate council estates or the people who live on them.I have met some of the nicest people there through my work and some less choice members of society!Mind you,in saying that,there are some less choice ones in the poshest areas as well....in that respect,as we say round these parts......'nowt queerer than folk!';-)

Chuckles1066

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: I did enough of that 30 years … :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: I did enough of that 30 years ago............I'd be worried if it formed part of my recreational activities these days!





so did i, but after reading this thread all i can say i am a happy and fun person, not a miserable old so and so like you are coming across, but oh well who cares!:x

and i think it is harder now, my son and otherhalf have little chance of ever getting a mortage on their wages, their only way will be through myself and o/h help, but unfortunaly some parents are not in that position, which then i feel it is really tough, iand i feel it is only going to get worse.:-(

Chuckles1066

lol, your generation is so wrapped up in cotton wool you can't deal with … lol, your generation is so wrapped up in cotton wool you can't deal with *any* sort of criticism can you?Jesus, no wonder the country's going downhill faster than a slalom skier on speed.I wonder how your generation would cope with being asked to pick up a weapon and stand at post............"oooh no, I'm not touching that, where's my Claims Direct lawyer, my feelings have been hurt".


excuse me!? before you start jumping to conclusions, how old do you actually think I am?
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