Is this nepotism,what do you think?

30 replies
Found 8th Oct 2009
Hi
My son is in Year 9 at school and plays for the school football team. He has also attended nearly every training session the school have had since joining the school in year 7.
The teacher who takes the football team, who is some sort of stand in teacher for any subject at the school, has a Year 8 son.
For the last few weeks whenever the Year 9 team is playing my son has been dropped from the squad and replaced by this Year 8 boy. Is this nepatism? As you can imagine my son is really upset and a bit angry by this but not sure if we can do anything.
I might had the Year 8's do have their own team which this boy plays for and that team is also run by this teacher.
It's a difficult situation as if we complain or even politely speak to the teacher about it I imagine my son will never get in the squad again as this teacher picks it. It seems really unfair. I would add my son is quite a good player and the younger boy isnt quite as good so no obvious improvement for the team.
What does anyone think I should do. It is very difficult. My son knows if he doesnt go to training or not play very well he can always get dropped which is the fair way of dealing with sport but this is totally out of his control. He is so upset that he is thinking of not going to the training sessions which i know would break his heart.

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30 Comments

Sounds like it is.

Seems rather unfair to me

Yes. Seems to be. Questions need to be asked as to 'why' he has been dropped. You know fine and well why but you need to see what they say.

I think a pleasant diplomatic approach will work in this case, explain that your child is upset and frustrated by his obvious enthusiasm for football, maybe an explanation will be forth coming just don't mention this teachers son at all.

Above all - teach your son how to deal with disappointment! Will help him no end as he grows up in an unfair world.

think you should have a quiet word with the teacher involved -

has your son played for team since year 7 and does he play for any other teams outside of school

if he does - mention this -

if you get negative feedback from him - go to head of year

your boy must be feeling it - poor love

Alfonse;6515124

I think a pleasant diplomatic approach will work in this case, explain … I think a pleasant diplomatic approach will work in this case, explain that your child is upset and frustrated by his obvious enthusiasm for football, maybe an explanation will be forth coming just don't mention this teacers son at all.


I agree - Maybe ask what your son can do to improve his playing and see what the Teacher says...

i think maybe your son isn't quite as good as you think and if this one small setback is making him want to quit then maybe football isn't for him.

Banned

i would be asking why a year 8 pupil is playing on a year 9 team, no nned to mention teachers or anything just ask politely why your son is not playing and yet a year 8 is playing in his place

Mod & Ed

sassie;6515227

i would be asking why a year 8 pupil is playing on a year 9 team, no nned … i would be asking why a year 8 pupil is playing on a year 9 team, no nned to mention teachers or anything just ask politely why your son is not playing and yet a year 8 is playing in his place



+1

sassie;6515227

i would be asking why a year 8 pupil is playing on a year 9 team, no nned … i would be asking why a year 8 pupil is playing on a year 9 team, no nned to mention teachers or anything just ask politely why your son is not playing and yet a year 8 is playing in his place



happens all the time, I still havn't got over being dropped when I was in primary 7 for shipping 4 goals in a cup game to be replaced by the keeper from primary 6.

it's just football.

Banned

ants97;6515193

i think maybe your son isn't quite as good as you think and if this one … i think maybe your son isn't quite as good as you think and if this one small setback is making him want to quit then maybe football isn't for him.



That may be the case.... and it also may be the case that the teacher is using his privileged position and bias to ride roughshod.

How good is this year 8 kid? If he isnt "outstanding", then its not unreasonable to challenge and ask if he'd be playing in the year 8 team, if this teacher took this side.

Banned

ants97;6515276

happens all the time, I still havn't got over being dropped when I was in … happens all the time, I still havn't got over being dropped when I was in primary 7 for shipping 4 goals in a cup game to be replaced by the keeper from primary 6.



Sounds like they had a good reason then!

Was this new keeper the son of the coach?

Original Poster

ants97;6515193

i think maybe your son isn't quite as good as you think and if this one … i think maybe your son isn't quite as good as you think and if this one small setback is making him want to quit then maybe football isn't for him.



Thanks i understand that although my partner was a Pro in the second division for over 10 years so we are pretty knowledgeable but i take on board what you are saying. If that was the case why hasnt he been dropped for a Year 9, afterall it is a Year 9 side.

guv;6515293

Sounds like they had a good reason then!Was this new keeper the son of … Sounds like they had a good reason then!Was this new keeper the son of the coach?



nah I didn't even have that excuse, I blamed loose studs instead. If the internet was about back then I'd probably have made a thread blaming gola for making shoody boots.:-D

Banned

ants97;6515316

nah I didn't even have that excuse, I blamed loose studs instead. If the … nah I didn't even have that excuse, I blamed loose studs instead. If the internet was about back then I'd probably have made a thread blaming gola for making shoody boots.:-D




LOL... probably not though..... you'd not be playing footie to start up a thread on the subject! :w00t: (Imaginary would have been acceptable!)

Original Poster

its only me;6515139

Above all - teach your son how to deal with disappointment! Will help … Above all - teach your son how to deal with disappointment! Will help him no end as he grows up in an unfair world.



Thanks thats what i have tried to do..he still has his Sunday team to play for.
i will try the diplomatic way and ask why he as dropped and what he could improve without mentioning the obvious nepatism.

Thanks everyone.
If someone hurt me i could deal with it but its hearbreaking when its your own child.

Goofey's Girl;6515303

Thanks i understand that although my partner was a Pro in the second … Thanks i understand that although my partner was a Pro in the second division for over 10 years so we are pretty knowledgeable but i take on board what you are saying. If that was the case why hasnt he been dropped for a Year 9, afterall it is a Year 9 side.



it may well be the case that this is whats happening and I'm sure your partner will now that these things happen in football. I'm sure he had coaches that just preferred certain players over others but could he not help your son with extra training maybe change his position in an attempt to get him back in the team.

Goofey's Girl;6515333

Thanks thats what i have tried to do..he still has his Sunday team to … Thanks thats what i have tried to do..he still has his Sunday team to play for. i will try the diplomatic way and ask why he as dropped and what he could improve without mentioning the obvious nepatism.Thanks everyone.If someone hurt me i could deal with it but its hearbreaking when its your own child.



I would definitely ask why he is being replaced by a boy who is not even in the right year group.

Banned

ChipSticks;6515361

I would definitely ask why he is being replaced by a boy who is not even … I would definitely ask why he is being replaced by a boy who is not even in the right year group.



yep, a bit confused to why a year 8 is playing on a year 9 side too, no matter what the footballing skills are of the ops son

Would have thought a teacher would have shown more tact , should be obvious how this might appear.

Nepotism, when it does exist should be fought against - merit should be the deciding factor not who your mate / family is !

sassie;6515375

yep, a bit confused to why a year 8 is playing on a year 9 side too, no … yep, a bit confused to why a year 8 is playing on a year 9 side too, no matter what the footballing skills are of the ops son



exactly, doesn't matter whether the OP's son is actually rubbish, (not saying he is, lol) he still shouldn't be getting replaced by a boy from another year.

I would be asking questions myself.

aww hun, it sounds heartbreaking for your son ..

are there any other groups that he can play footie with, out of school I mean? xx

Your son needs to bring down the year 8 in training.

vengod;6515411

Your son needs to bring down the year 8 in training.



lmao! :thumbsup:

I would def ask the teacher why, sounds a bit out of order, if it was another kid from year 8 fair enough, but his own son when he is already playing for his own age group, thats just off

Banned

Your son needs to bully this boy into not wanting to play with the yr 9's, get him to tell him if he tells anyone he's bullying him he'll do it twice as much

Jumpingphil;6515557

This teacher isn't a dead president is he?:whistling:



No, but his son is.......

lumoruk;6515493

Your son needs to bully this boy into not wanting to play with the yr … Your son needs to bully this boy into not wanting to play with the yr 9's, get him to tell him if he tells anyone he's bullying him he'll do it twice as much



Ha ha... priceless...

Well if its an after school club - it one wanted to be uncharitable you could say the teachers son is put into the team so that he doesn't have to hang around waiting for his dad...........

As you suggested just explain to the teacher your son is disappointed and you wondered what the reason is? whether he needs additional practice etc.....
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