Expired

IT Help Desk Funnies

12
Found 8th May 2006
As far as I know these are genuine IT help desk calls, but even if they're not, they're funny

------------------------

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

------------------------

Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

------------------------

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: "Doesn't the product give you a clue?

------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

------------------------

Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

------------------------

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".

------------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried
operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

------------------------

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

------------------------

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

------------------------

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

------------------------

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too &^*$# stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

  1. Misc
Groups
  1. Misc
13 Comments

rayman

[color=darkblue]On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds … [color=darkblue]On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worriedoperator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".[/color]



I liked that one. It made me titter. :roll:

P.S. Ray, have you seen this one on google video yet...Might make you laugh, might not....but do please tell me the outcome...

Original Poster

Ouch... no I didn't laugh, but I couldn't get what she was saying :roll: It sounded like she was being friendly, did I mis-hear it?

dunno what was being said. i assumed it was something bad. but it gave me a shock..but i'll admit it, i laughed...

Original Poster

They look like they're smiling, except the woman who attacks...

Ha ha I loved the last one:

Here's a few more sites full of these:
cs.utah.edu/~sc…ech

Original Poster

Thanks Great link... I can't read them all right now, but something to look at later for a laugh

:pirate:

emmajk42

Just another funny that gave me a good laugh: … Just another funny that gave me a good laugh: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7266526753880269480:)



ROFL! that was some funny sh*t, I got tears in my eyes I laughed so much, cheers for that, brightened up a night shift! :

:lol:

nrps1

ROFL! that was some funny sh*t, I got tears in my eyes I laughed so much, … ROFL! that was some funny sh*t, I got tears in my eyes I laughed so much, cheers for that, brightened up a night shift! : :lol:



Glad it tickled someone's fancy!!

The last one isn't entirely correct, the latter part didn't happen - the person doing the support said he wanted to do that but didn't, I believe from the original usenet posting (this is quite a famous one) that the guy married her:

snopes.com/hum…htm

Massive collection of similar tech support stories here:

rinkworks.com/stu…id/

John

lol, very good. made me chuckle, especially the write-click one.

thanks ray for all the chuckles today!

Johnmcl7

I believe from the original usenet posting (this is quite a famous one) … I believe from the original usenet posting (this is quite a famous one) that the guy married herJohn



"This woman was good friends with my supervisor, who was also a French professor (still is, matter of fact--and in addition, she's now also my wife), so I couldn't deal with her the way I really wanted to."

i take it from this that he actually married his supervisor - the 'stoopid' woman was friends with her
Post a comment
Avatar
@
    Text