Found 5th Jan 2010
I know its from the US but its rather apt

8 December 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the year and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Xmas Card. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our drive and the pavement. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the pavement and closed in the drive, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbour tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.

December 14
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the drive and pavement. This is the life!
The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Range Rover. Bought snow tyres for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Finland, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my backside on the ice in the drive putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the the damn stuff last night. More shovelling. Took all day. Damn snowplough came through twice.
Tried to find a neighbours kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy sledging. I think they're lying. Called the only DIY shop around to see about buying a snow blower and they've sold out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the council will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white cr_p fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his lorry for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplough I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplough.

December 25
Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a tip and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me £1000 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver he is now suing me for a million pounds not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun don't shine. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

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6 Comments

that good lol
nice to see im not the only one sick of the snow

It's rather long ...i can't read properly because of snow blindness :roll:

Banned

Happy New Year Martin x x

Banned

its not from the US anyway - lots of clues

lol, I thought it was good. where from then if not us?

oh we have finally got lots of snow coming down here :-)

Banned

owens101;7436264

lol, I thought it was good. where from then if not us? oh we have … lol, I thought it was good. where from then if not us? oh we have finally got lots of snow coming down here :-)


Its from someone in the UK. I thought that was obvious if you read it properly.
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