Jock The Painter

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There was a tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin down paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of one of their biggest buildings. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

And so he set to erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened, the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Jock clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

"Repaint! Repaint! and thin no more!"

9 Comments

o dear! but good! x

Original Poster

OK .... Hows about ?

A paper bag goes to the doctor and complains of feeling really ill. The doctor does a lot of tests and tells the paper bag to come back next week for the results.
The following week the paper bag is extremely distressed to be told by his doctor that he is HIV positive.
"But how can this be?" he cries, "I'm only a paper bag!"
"Well have you had unprotected sex in the last year?" asks the doctor.
"No, how can I??" he shouts "I'm only a paper bag!"
"How about sharing needles, giving blood, anything like that?"
"I've said to you before" the paper bag sobs "how can I, I'm only a paper bag!"
"Ahhhh" says the doctor shaking his head sadly "In that case I suspect your mother must have been a carrier."

At several points I take great offence at this joke

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Only kidding!

Original Poster

Predikuesi;2352307

At several points I take great offence at this joke*****Only kidding!


:giggle: like it !

Original Poster

Gambling

A guy walks into a bar and notices two pieces of meat on the ceiling. He asks the bar man for a pint and the bar man asks, "Don't you want to participate in our competition?". The guy asks "What's it all about?" The barman informs him, "All you have to do is get those pieces of meat off the ceiling and you get a free pint"
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The guy replies, "No I don't think so, the steaks are too high."

your poorest yet ... lol

groan!! Funny!!:thumbsup:

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q68/dave_95020/Happy%20Friday/HappyFriday.gif[/CENTER]

:thumbsup:My god I'm new to all this stuff - but I'm beginning to be a snowtiger fan lol - Keep cheering my day up:thumbsup:
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