Joke of the day

    An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...

    Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    Old Lady: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
    Officer: Don't have one?
    Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see ...Can I see your vehicle registration
    papers, please?
    Old Lady: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Old Lady: I stole this car.
    Officer: Sto! le it?
    Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner & got
    Officer: You what?
    Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
    trunk if you want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away
    to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
    police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
    approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
    please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
    Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have
    stolen this car and murdered the owner.
    Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of
    your car,please.
    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an
    empty trunk.
    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
    Old Lady: Yes, here are the reg! istration papers. The
    officer is quite stunned.
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not
    have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
    purse and hands it to the officer. The officer
    examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told
    me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car,
    and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
    Old Lady: Bet the lying ******* told you I was speeding,too.


    Original Poster

    Wife says to Hubby "you make Love like you decorate"
    he replies "What... slow with smooth strokes and professional finish?"
    "no" she replies, "more like the council, you just whack it up, leave a mess and i have to finish the job myself"!!.

    lol like that wish i could remember jokes to pass it on would end up telling a completely different joke thumbs up:thumbsup:

    lmfao haha fabtastic
    just wot i needed a gud laff
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