joke time

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81 Comments

Original Poster

a mother was trying to make her young son teach a bit of maths,she ask him,let's say you are out with your father and your sister n your granddad and me and we went to a ice cream shop,so how many ice cream will you order?he said 4,her mother replied no 5,the kid said no 4,cuz i want coke to drink
Edited by: "addjon" 30th Jan 2011

I just lost the will to live........

Original Poster

barky

I just lost the will to live........


do a suicide at night to avoid disappointment and save some tax money,by the way jumping off a cliff is pain less way to kill your self

Original Poster

whatsThePoint

read the first post but no link to a joke there


that was funny

addjon

do a suicide at night to avoid disappointment and save some tax money,by … do a suicide at night to avoid disappointment and save some tax money,by the way jumping off a cliff is pain less way to kill your self



how do you know its painless?and how do you save tax money by killing yourself at nightime? no wait...dont tell me...I cant take any more

so when is someone actually gonna post a joke in this thread? lol

numptyj

so when is someone actually gonna post a joke in this thread? lol




the first one was so hilarious-how could it be topped-I will be dining out on it for a year

addjon

a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of maths,she ask … a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of maths,she ask him,let's say you are out with your father and your sister n your granddad and me and we went to a ice cream shop,so how many ice cream will you order?he said 4,her mother replied no 5,the kid said no 4,cuz i want coke to drink



Poor... thats all I have to say... poor.

Original Poster

numptyj can you plz change your avatar,i can't take me eye off from it(wasting my time staring it)

[quote=addjon]a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of maths

shouldn't it be her son
Edited by: "Kulsum" 30th Jan 2011

NASA send two monkeys and a woman to space. Radio messages:

NASA to monkey 1: Optimise life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipment

NASA to monkey 2: Check trajectory and compensate if required using formula (m2-3n)x(5-m3)

NASA to woman: Feed Monkeys - Touch f*** all

Original Poster

Kulsum

[quote=addjon]a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of … [quote=addjon]a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of mathsshouldn't it be her son


lol bad english bad english.thanks to point it out,no wonder none like it apart from you

Original Poster

jonny619447

NASA send two monkeys and a woman to space. Radio messages:NASA to monkey … NASA send two monkeys and a woman to space. Radio messages:NASA to monkey 1: Optimise life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipmentNASA to monkey 2: Check trajectory and compensate if required using formula (m2-3n)x(5-m3)NASA to woman: Feed Monkeys - Touch f*** all


lol by guessing from your joke you don't like women

Kulsum

[quote=addjon]a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of … [quote=addjon]a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of mathsshouldn't it be her son



Lol, then the son changed to a she


addjon

a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of maths,she ask … a mother was trying to make his young son teach a bit of maths,she ask him,let's say you are out with your father and your sister n your granddad and me and we went to a ice cream shop,so how many ice cream will you order?he said 4,her mother replied no 5,the kid said no 4,cuz i want coke to drink

addjon

lol by guessing from your joke you don't like women



No course I do. But its a joke. In comedy anything goes (within reason). It has nothing to do with my real views

dcx_badass

Why was she getting her son to teach her maths?



Because she wasn't very good at them (_;)

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/5470/delllaptopfail.jpg

Original Poster

mother - son stay away from naughty kids
son - that's the reason i don't wana go to school

addjon

mother - son stay away from naughty kidsson - that's the reason i don't … mother - son stay away from naughty kidsson - that's the reason i don't wana go to school



Mods please close this thread.
The OP has clearly lost the plot and it is bordering on disturbing! (_;)

Three old men were talking in the pub about how life was treating them.

First one says "Everything is good but I just can't pass water."

Second says "Everything is good but I'm just constipated"

Third says "You poor guys,
I urinate every moring at 7am exactly.
I poo every morning at 8am exactly.
My problem is, I don't waken up until 9am!"

I didn't think this site condoned the use of illegal substances, but it's rife in this thread http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce011.gif

addjon

mother - son stay away from naughty kidsson - that's the reason i don't … mother - son stay away from naughty kidsson - that's the reason i don't wana go to school



doesnt translate well from the original swahili...............

Original Poster

swahili?which language is that?

OP - you want jokes .... loads here : hotukdeals.com/mis…e=1

fill your boots ...

addjon

swahili?which language is that?



native to Africa
en.wikipedia.org/wik…age
Edited by: "arcangel111" 30th Jan 2011

Original Poster

arcangel111

native to Africa


cheers

Man found dead in his ice-cream van covered in hundreds & thousands.

Police reckon he topped himself.

Original Poster

3 friend in a restaurant
1st - i can drink tea as hot as from the kettle in to cup and then into my mouth
2nd - i can drink as hot as from the kettle to my mouth
3rd - its nothing compare to mine,i drink water and milk eat sugar n tea bag and sit on gas burner

richp

Man found dead in his ice-cream van covered in hundreds & … Man found dead in his ice-cream van covered in hundreds & thousands.Police reckon he topped himself.




Have you been on some illegal substances now rich ??....................:D

This thread makes my brain hurt

Original Poster

sancho1983

This thread makes my brain hurt


the thing you call brain is infect straws....

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were u today during school hours?
SON: At school *Robot slaps Son*
SON: OK, I went to the movies
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*
SON: OK, it was day with a pornstar
DAD: WHAT? When I was ur age I didn't even know what porn was! *robot slaps dad*
MOM: HAHA! After all he's ur son *Robot slaps mom*

addjon

3 friend in a restaurant1st - i can drink tea as hot as from the kettle … 3 friend in a restaurant1st - i can drink tea as hot as from the kettle in to cup and then into my mouth2nd - i can drink as hot as from the kettle to my mouth3rd - its nothing compare to mine,i drink water and milk eat sugar n tea bag and sit on gas burner



are these all copy/pasted from the polish version of sickipedia? after they are translated by babelfish of course-are you seriously rolling about laughing at these?

dcx_badass

Ops mum should have used this to spare us all from this stupidity:



a coathanger walks into a bar and asks for a pint of lager and the barman says "£2.80 please"

HILARIOUS!!

3 friends meet up in the street

first one says "good morning"

second one says "good morning"

third one says "good morning"

Ive got a million of these!

what do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Bert Smith

Right, i decided to test foreign jokes for myself to see what addjon finds so funny. Here is a joke from a french website translated with all the skill of addjon . . . well google translate anyway!

Five french in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Franco-Belgian. The Belgian customs official stopped them and said: - You're not allowed to run at 5 in a Quattro - No, Quattro is the type of vehicle, watch the papers! This car can carry 5 people, replies the driver.
Stop taking me for a fool. Quattro mean four. Get off the vehicle ...
Furious driver drops the car and run: - You are too stupid. Call me your supervisor!
Oh no, he can not come . . . He is busy with two guys in the Uno!

My question is - Is this s**t funny in france?!
Edited by: "dh058977" 30th Jan 2011

oO Whats up with everyone today ?

dh - i thought that was funny

i can speak the france,...

"ello. ma nem iz martyn. theez jerks ar nut fuhnee"
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