Found 12th Oct 2008
Kids Are Quick!!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?


TEACHER: No, thats wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said its H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didnt have ten
years ago.



TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, Im a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.


TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, I am.

MILLIE: All right I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his fathers cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didnt punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I dont have to, my Mum is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on My Dog is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, its the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher
. wonder we love 'em !

  1. Misc
  1. Misc

Original Poster


Original Poster

> The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a
> sentence.
> Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s
> farm,and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
> The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
> fascinate, not fascinating”.
> Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City
> and
> I was fascinated.“The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but
> I
> wanted you to use the word “fascinate.”
> Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had
> been burned by Little Johnny before.
> She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word
> “fascinate”,
> so she called on him.
> Johnny said, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
> t***
> are so big she can only fasten eight.”
> The teacher sat down and cried

Original Poster

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
“Not yet,” said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he’s a little peeved, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a Chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and His mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the Cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?”
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