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    Know any good Limericks ?

    There once was an old man of Esser,
    Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
    It at last grew so small
    He knew nothing at all,
    And now he's a college professor.

    -------

    There once was a lady from Hyde,
    Who ate a green apple and died,
    While her lover lamented,
    The apple fermented,
    and made cider inside her inside.

    =====

    There was a young lady one fall
    Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
    The dress caught fire
    And burned her entire
    Front page, sporting section and all.
    =====

    There was a young maid from Madras
    Who had a magnificent ass;
    Not rounded and pink,
    As you probably think---
    It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

    11 Comments

    There once was a young man named Paul
    Who used to do tricks in the hall
    His favourite trick
    Was to spin on his d!ck
    And glide round the hall on one ball

    There once was an old guy named Bill
    Who swallowed an atomic pill
    They found his sexorgan
    On a farm in Glamorgan
    And his balls on a hill in Brazil

    There was a young girl of Westhoughton
    Who had a long tit and a short 'un
    On top of all that
    She had a big ****
    And a fart like a 500 Norton

    Original Poster

    There once was a boy from Montreal
    Who loved to play basketball
    For a team he tried out
    But if he made it, I doubt
    For you see, he was three feet tall!

    ----------------

    There once was a lady named Lynn
    Who was so uncommonly thin,
    that when she assayed
    to drink lemonade,
    she slipped through the straw and fell in!


    -----
    A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
    His beak can hold more than his belly can.
    He can hold in his beak
    Enough food for a week!
    But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?

    -----

    A lady who travelled in Spain
    Got sick as she rode on a train.
    Not once, but again,
    and again, and again,
    And again, and again, and again.

    There once was a man from Great Britain
    Who got his head stuck in a mitten
    The school children all laughed
    As he stumbled 'long the path
    Like a lost and distraught little kitten

    De dah di di dah di dah
    De dah di di dah di dah
    De diddly dah
    De diddly dah
    De diddly diddly dah

    There was a young maid from MadrasWho had a magnificent ass;Not rounded … There was a young maid from MadrasWho had a magnificent ass;Not rounded and pink,As you probably think---It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.



    haha... love it!

    up above the strets and houses
    bungle's flying high
    opens up his hairy ass and
    farts in geofferys eye

    Mary had a little lamb
    she tied it to a pylon
    ten thousand volts went up its ****
    and turned its wool to nylon

    There was a man called crocket
    who wanted a ride in a rocket
    the rocket went bang
    his balls went clang
    and his dick ended up in his pocket

    There was a young girl from Rabat,
    who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
    It was fun in the breeding,
    But hell in the feeding,
    When she found she had no tit for Tat.
    --
    (Contributed by Terry Walsh)
    freewebs.com/lim…ks/

    Mary had a little lamb
    She put it in a bucket
    And every time the lamb climbed out
    Mary tried to... put it back in again.

    Mary had a little lamb
    She also had a duck,
    She put them in a locked dark room
    To see if they would...get on with each other.

    Mary had a little lamb
    She also had a bear
    I've often seen her little lamb
    But I've never seen her bear!:whistling:

    There was a young man from Japan
    Whose poetry never would scan
    When asked why it was
    He said "its because
    I try & get as many words into the last line as I possibly can"

    There was a young man from Taipai
    On a slow boat to China one day
    was trapped at the Tiller
    By a sex-starved Gorilla
    And China's a bloody long way !

    Original Poster

    There once was a young man named John
    But knowbody knew where he was from
    His real name was Fred
    The Chinaman said
    He lives down my street in Hong Kong!
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