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# Little Mark Jokes

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Little Mark

Mark ON MATHS

A teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left? She calls on little MARK.

He replies, None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.

The teacher replies, The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.

Then little MARK says, I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Well, I suppose the one thats gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.

To which Little MARK replied, The correct answer is the one with the Wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.

Original Poster

LITTLE MARK ON MATHS (Part 2)
Little MARK returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic
‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2x3,’’ I said ‘6’, replies MARK.
‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.
‘Yeah, but then she a sked me ‘How much is 3x2?’’
‘What’s the f***** difference?’ asks the father
‘That’s what I said!’

Original Poster

LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR
Little MARK was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a p***!!’
The teacher replied, ‘Now, MARK, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’
Please use the word ‘ur-I-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow You to go.’
Little MARK, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger boobs, you’d be a TEN!’

Original Poster

LITTLE MARK ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence twice.
First, she called! On little Suzie, who responded with, ‘My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.’
‘Very good, Suzie,’ replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
‘ My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.’
She said, ‘Excellent, Michael!’ Then the teacher reluctantly called on little MARK.
‘Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father she was Pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just f***** beautiful!’’

Original Poster

LITTLE MARK ON GETTING OLDER
Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
‘Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.’
Little MARK replied, ‘My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.’
The man asked, ‘Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?’
[CENTER] [/CENTER]

Nice one

Very good, keep um coming

:giggle: :w00t::thumbsup:
Thanks for today's laughter.

Nice one snowtiger. Still suprised at the amount of good jokes you manage to come up with :lol:

Little Timmy was sitting in class one day when he got a splinter in his finger. He put up his hand and asked the teacher for a glass of cider.

The teacher asked why on Earth he wanted a glass of cider, to which he replied "I overheard my sister saying that when she gets a pr*ck in her hand, she puts it inside her"..........

Original Poster

ChrisUK;2825048

Little Timmy was sitting in class one day when he got a splinter in his … Little Timmy was sitting in class one day when he got a splinter in his finger. He put up his hand and asked the teacher for a glass of cider.The teacher asked why on Earth he wanted a glass of cider, to which he replied "I overheard my sister saying that when she gets a pr*ck in her hand, she puts it inside her"..........

hahaha :roll:

loved them all :thumbsup: