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    make me smile???

    hello i feeling bit poo. had pooey day, tabatha screaming, and when not i.e. when she sleep been clearing the kitchen, and had braxton hicks this afternoon, still do now, but still managed to paint a wall. my fiancee come home with headache and is being a complete prat. its a headache, no need to take it out on me, im NOT takimg out the fact that im tired, achey and having pains every 15mins on him, even though all of them things are effectively his fault.

    i wanna smile before i go bed. tell me joke pleaase

    34 Comments

    Original Poster

    we on virgin

    Shakespeare walks into a pub. The barman says, "you can't come in here mate, you're Bard"!!!!

    Comedy genius!

    Original Poster

    killabyte;3037019

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REQRHdMRimwhas me laughing all the time



    just reminds me of the kind of thing our daughhter would do. she's a bit of a weirdo bless her :?

    WIFE:
    What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?



    HUSBAND:

    Definitely not!



    WIFE:

    Why not - don't you like being married?



    HUSBAND:

    Of course I do.



    WIFE:

    Then why wouldn't you remarry?



    HUSBAND:

    Okay, I'd get married again.



    WIFE:

    You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).



    HUSBAND:

    (Makes audible groan).



    WIFE:

    Would you live in our house?



    HUSBAND:

    Sure, it's a great house.



    WIFE:

    Would you sleep with her in our bed?



    HUSBAND:

    Where else would we sleep?



    WIFE:

    Would you let her drive my car?



    HUSBAND:

    Probably, it is almost new.



    WIFE:

    Would you replace my pictures with hers?



    HUSBAND:

    That would seem like the proper thing to do.



    WIFE:

    Would she use my golf clubs?



    HUSBAND:

    No, she's left-handed.



    WIFE:
    - silence - -



    HUSBAND:
    Oh,Sh**!!....

    killabyte;3037019

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REQRHdMRimwhas me laughing all the time


    Agreed the cat looks sooo cute too :giggle:

    lol skusey

    My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
    seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
    As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
    told us that Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
    big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up,
    that would be super.'
    On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and
    rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
    'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked
    you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the
    ground.'
    She calmly turned her head and said,
    'In my country, I am called a Pr incess and I take orders from no
    one.'
    To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a
    beat,
    'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I out rank
    you. Tray-up, Bitch!

    Original Poster

    whats the chances of picking two women who like golf though ???

    awwww when are you due?

    i loved being pregnant tho put on 6st so couldn't physically do things i wish i could (like run around after my 2 yr old all day)

    i know this probs doesnt cheer you up but i'm being a bit nosey :oops:

    Original Poster

    skusey;3037076

    My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who … My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Pr incess and I take orders from no one.' To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I out rank you. Tray-up, Bitch!



    heard it before but still made me smile. you get some rep :-D

    Original Poster

    lyndsbowes;3037096

    awwww when are you due?i loved being pregnant tho put on 6st so couldn't … awwww when are you due?i loved being pregnant tho put on 6st so couldn't physically do things i wish i could (like run around after my 2 yr old all day)i know this probs doesnt cheer you up but i'm being a bit nosey :oops:



    in 33days time. 26th october. so less than five weeks now. getting impatient but on other hand still got lots to do.

    i not put on alot with this one (didnt put on with my boy either) but put on loads with tabatha.

    i still gotta run around after m two year old, she's a loonatic. and its pretty busy busy in the house if she allows me to be. been a bit of a terror tot this week, mainly cos she teething, has no voice and snotty. its all good fun ha ha:w00t:

    Congratulations about the baby, my wife and I are due on 9th November. Its our first one, so excited!!!

    ah i love the name tabatha

    Original Poster

    Emma-lee;3037136

    ah i love the name tabatha



    she's named it after the baby in bewitched, as i am samantha, just gotta convince mickey to change his name to darren then hopefully ill become a witch ha ha:whistling:

    mummyspam1985;3037165

    she's named it after the baby in bewitched, as i am samantha, just gotta … she's named it after the baby in bewitched, as i am samantha, just gotta convince mickey to change his name to darren then hopefully ill become a witch ha ha:whistling:



    how funny, not sure he'd go for it tho, but maybe to make you happy. You just never know

    Original Poster

    jonincov;3037129

    Congratulations about the baby, my wife and I are due on 9th November. … Congratulations about the baby, my wife and I are due on 9th November. Its our first one, so excited!!!



    oh wow cool. its amazing thing being a parent, nothing comes close to it in the whole wide world. :thumbsup: good luck

    Original Poster

    Emma-lee;3037172

    how funny, not sure he'd go for it tho, but maybe to make you happy. You … how funny, not sure he'd go for it tho, but maybe to make you happy. You just never know



    he seems to think its a sill idea, and that there are many flaws to my plan. but i cant see any really ha ha:-D

    [SIZE="7"]look At This[/SIZE]
    http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk10/pauls7010/02.jpg

    Original Poster

    thats AMAZING!!!!! you can feel our babies foot but his/her toes too.

    wow thats crazy!

    mummyspam1985;3037165

    she's named it after the baby in bewitched, as i am samantha, just gotta … she's named it after the baby in bewitched, as i am samantha, just gotta convince mickey to change his name to darren then hopefully ill become a witch ha ha:whistling:



    :w00t: i wish you good luck in that

    mummyspam1985;3037182

    he seems to think its a sill idea, and that there are many flaws to my … he seems to think its a sill idea, and that there are many flaws to my plan. but i cant see any really ha ha:-D



    get him when hes drunk, he'll wake up in the morning as Darren and then there is no going back hehe!

    mummyspam1985;3037123

    in 33days time. 26th october. so less than five weeks now. getting … in 33days time. 26th october. so less than five weeks now. getting impatient but on other hand still got lots to do. i not put on alot with this one (didnt put on with my boy either) but put on loads with tabatha. i still gotta run around after m two year old, she's a loonatic. and its pretty busy busy in the house if she allows me to be. been a bit of a terror tot this week, mainly cos she teething, has no voice and snotty. its all good fun ha ha:w00t:



    omg you're having braxton hicks early. bless you. my son's bday is on halloween so you might have the baby then :w00t: bet you feel sick to your stomach thinking you could go to then.
    my hubby keeps saying we should have another baby (mainly when he's drunk :w00t:) but i think deffo not at mo. have 2 boys, nearly 4 and nearly 2 and its hard work

    mummyspam1985;3037193

    thats AMAZING!!!!! you can feel our babies foot but his/her toes too.



    Emma-lee;3037201

    wow thats crazy!



    yes, but whats that line all about?

    jonincov;3037129

    Congratulations about the baby, my wife and I are due on 9th November. … Congratulations about the baby, my wife and I are due on 9th November. Its our first one, so excited!!!



    awwwwwww bless- congrats, there is no greater feeling than being a parent :thumbsup:

    skusey;3037217

    yes, but whats that line all about?



    stretch mark? i have no idea to be honest as not had any children yet

    [CENTER]http://australianflowers.net/images/petals/bouqC2-1.jpgfor you x[/CENTER]

    Original Poster

    skusey;3037217

    yes, but whats that line all about?


    its a dark line that some women get in pregancy, fades soon after though, cant rememebr what its called im afraid.


    lyndsbowes;3037212

    omg you're having braxton hicks early. bless you. my son's bday is on … omg you're having braxton hicks early. bless you. my son's bday is on halloween so you might have the baby then :w00t: bet you feel sick to your stomach thinking you could go to then.my hubby keeps saying we should have another baby (mainly when he's drunk :w00t:) but i think deffo not at mo. have 2 boys, nearly 4 and nearly 2 and its hard work



    i had them for few days before my first, but had them at 22 weeks with tabatha (small age gap) and had them at about 25 weeks this time but only just started getting bad this last week. bigger age gap this time.



    im off to bed, before i throttle him, he's being thick and pathetic now so i gotta go to sleep and get away from his irritatingness.

    night all thanks xx

    Original Poster

    snowtiger;3037243

    [CENTER]for you x[/CENTER]



    thanku xx

    mummyspam1985;3037337

    its a dark line that some women get in pregancy, fades soon after though, … its a dark line that some women get in pregancy, fades soon after though, cant rememebr what its called im afraid. i had them for few days before my first, but had them at 22 weeks with tabatha (small age gap) and had them at about 25 weeks this time but only just started getting bad this last week. bigger age gap this time. im off to bed, before i throttle him, he's being thick and pathetic now so i gotta go to sleep and get away from his irritatingness. night all thanks xx



    awwww night hun, hope you have a good nights sleep x

    Are you smiling yet?


    .
    [CENTER]http://www.fwditon.com/attachments/2008/9/23/122213339986_ATT.gif[/CENTER]

    Original Poster

    very much so thankyou. exceptionally happy day today!!
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