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    marriage advice please

    my aunties husband left her sept time for another woman,she works part time and is struggling to pay half the mortgage,this month she has had a letter to say their mortgage hasnt been paid as she has been putting the money in a joint account and he has been saying he has been putting his share of £400 into the account too
    he is now saying he is struggling to pay it and she is worried she will lose the house,is he obliged to carry on paying his share of the mortgage or can he just leave it to her to pay?
    she cant get into the solicitors till next week but she is really worried about what will happen now especially if she has to pay the whole £800 herself
    would appreciate any advice

    16 Comments

    Banned

    if its a joint mortgage then they are both responsible, so either can choose to pay, or not pay, but the house will get repossessed if they dont keep up payments, they should get intouch with their mortgage provider

    Providing they're both on the mortgage, they're both liable for payment.

    Legally how they come to that arrange is upto them to sort out, the bank will just try and get money off either of them.. Either they work something out, or they'll both be taken to court / house repossessed.

    I suggest your auntie explains her situation to the bank and contacts a solicitor about the arrangement with her husband. Banks will normally take their foot off the gas for a short period in cases like this.

    If it's a joint mortgage he is obliged, however if he has moved out and doesnt care about his credit rating he can just stop paying, repossession wont affect him as he don't live there anymore.

    Original Poster

    sassie;7270280

    if its a joint mortgage then they are both responsible, so either can … if its a joint mortgage then they are both responsible, so either can choose to pay, or not pay, but the house will get repossessed if they dont keep up payments, they should get intouch with their mortgage provider



    yes its joint,she wants to carry on paying her half but he wanted to defer it or something,she would rather not do that.she would rather carry on paying until house is sold.he has turned into a complete liar so he told her he had paid iit last month but he obviously hasnt as she recieved the letter stating it hasnt been paid
    saying that he has just bought himself a new tv and there are plenty of prezzies under the tree 4 his new woman and her son :whistling:

    Banned

    edjaned;7270312

    yes its joint,she wants to carry on paying her half but he wanted to … yes its joint,she wants to carry on paying her half but he wanted to defer it or something,she would rather not do that.she would rather carry on paying until house is sold.he has turned into a complete liar so he told her he had paid iit last month but he obviously hasnt as she recieved the letter stating it hasnt been paidsaying that he has just bought himself a new tv and there are plenty of prezzies under the tree 4 his new woman and her son :whistling:



    it is pountless her paying her half if he is not going to pay the other half, both are responsible, her share does not keep her safe, they both need to sort this out before it goes any further

    edjaned;7270312

    yes its joint,she wants to carry on paying her half but he wanted to … yes its joint,she wants to carry on paying her half but he wanted to defer it or something,she would rather not do that.she would rather carry on paying until house is sold.he has turned into a complete liar so he told her he had paid iit last month but he obviously hasnt as she recieved the letter stating it hasnt been paidsaying that he has just bought himself a new tv and there are plenty of prezzies under the tree 4 his new woman and her son :whistling:



    Regardless of him being a *****... Don't think i'd wanna pay half of a mortgage for a house i wasn't living in.. Unless of course your auntie has kids with him, then he has a duty to help out.. But even then, half a mortgage isn't really his responsibility. Plus if he wants a divorce or she does, he'll be unable to force sale of the house until the kid hits 16. Least that's my understanding.

    Original Poster

    spritey;7270324

    Regardless of him being a *****... Don't think i'd wanna pay half of a … Regardless of him being a *****... Don't think i'd wanna pay half of a mortgage for a house i wasn't living in.. Unless of course your auntie has kids with him, then he has a duty to help out.. But even then, half a mortgage isn't really his responsibility.



    i can see ur point but surely he would want to pay to keep a roof over his childrens head?
    he doesnt give her a penny and she hadnt claimed through csa as he was paying half the mortgage but she is going to look into that now.he earns more money than her and she has 3 children to provide for plus he lives in a flat rent and bill free

    If children are involved it's a completely different story, he has to provide a roof over their head until the youngest is 18

    edjaned;7270347

    i can see ur point but surely he would want to pay to keep a roof over … i can see ur point but surely he would want to pay to keep a roof over his childrens head?he doesnt give her a penny and she hadnt claimed through csa as he was paying half the mortgage but she is going to look into that now.he earns more money than her and she has 3 children to provide for plus he lives in a flat rent and bill free



    Yerp of course he has a responsibility to pay something, paying half a mortgage when you have a fragmented relationship with that person can be difficult though.

    Say the kids turn 18... Leave home.. Now he wants to sell the house and gain some of the money back, perfectly reasonable.. Your auntie could fight that legally, because she has lived there so long. Never know what people will do as hatrid grows. She law may be on his side mostly, but it would still be a painful and expensive legal process.

    So although not ideal, it's easier to liquidate everything acquired together and just claim through CSA.

    He is not legally required to provide a 'roof over there heads' - just submit to the set % of his wage that the CSA want. He is however not legally allowed to sell the house i believe, or force sale.. While your auntie has the kids in there.

    Original Poster

    yes my auntie wants divorce and they have both agreed to put house for sale,but they are not selling at the mo,my nain (grandmother) ofered to borrow the money for some fee of £350 to list the house for sale,my auntie has paid my nain back but her hubby keeps making excuses for not paying my nain his share

    Banned

    tell her to see a solicitor, and get in touch with the mortgage provider, ignoring this will not help the situation

    Original Poster

    sassie;7270414

    tell her to see a solicitor, and get in touch with the mortgage provider, … tell her to see a solicitor, and get in touch with the mortgage provider, ignoring this will not help the situation



    she has an appt next week to see solicitor so will find out more then,i will tell her to phone about the mortgage on monday
    thanks for advice everyone,im just worried about her she has lost loads of weight and is soo angry about it all,doesnt help when the kids come back and tell her things about dads new "fantastic" girlfriend that dad keeps kissing all the time

    Banned

    edjaned;7270464

    she has an appt next week to see solicitor so will find out more then,i … she has an appt next week to see solicitor so will find out more then,i will tell her to phone about the mortgage on mondaythanks for advice everyone,im just worried about her she has lost loads of weight and is soo angry about it all,doesnt help when the kids come back and tell her things about dads new "fantastic" girlfriend that dad keeps kissing all the time



    its a very sad time and you have to be careful it isnt passed on via the childrem, tell her to get strong and move on with her life, nomads like that arent worth bothering about, get everything done legally

    pinkleponkle;7270377

    If children are involved it's a completely different story, he has to … If children are involved it's a completely different story, he has to provide a roof over their head until the youngest is 18



    That's what I thought. Also do you know what sort of mortgage they have?Is it repayment or interest only? Sometimes mortgage providers are happy (if only for a little while) if the interest is being paid. At least that shows some commitment.

    Original Poster

    Sheena0104;7270700

    That's what I thought. Also do you know what sort of mortgage they … That's what I thought. Also do you know what sort of mortgage they have?Is it repayment or interest only? Sometimes mortgage providers are happy (if only for a little while) if the interest is being paid. At least that shows some commitment.



    it is a repayment mortgage

    She definitely needs to speak to her mortgage provider asap to explain the situation and they'll tell her how they can assist. The last thing the lender wants to do is repossess the house.
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