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    Marriage, Marriage...and more Marriage

    Marriage, Marriage...and more Marriage ..........
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    .
    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
    -David Bissonette

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    -Sacha Guitry

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    -Hemant Joshi

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -Socrates

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
    -Dumas

    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
    -Sigmund Freud

    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Anonymous

    Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
    -Henny Youngman

    I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
    -Sam Kinison

    There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
    -James Holt McGavran

    I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
    -Patrick Murray

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
    -Nash

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
    -Anonymous

    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    -Henny Youngman

    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    -Milton Berle

    Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
    -Anonymous

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
    -Anonymous



    Please post yours ! xx

    17 Comments

    Original Poster

    http://www.wordinfo.info/words/images/tech-marriage.gif

    Original Poster

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    Original Poster

    [CENTER]http://cagle.msnbc.com/news/blog/BLOGgifs/CamMarriage070124.jpg[/CENTER]

    [COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]15 pieces of advice for women regarding men:
    1. Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers.
    2. What do you do when your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door behind him.
    3. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.
    4. Never let your man's mind wander. Its too small to be out on its own.
    5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyways.
    6. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
    7. The definition of a bachelor is a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    8. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are do-it-yourself types.
    9. The best way to get a man to do something is to say he's too old for it.
    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
    12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
    13. If he asks what kind of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
    14. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes. It means that you laugh at him.
    15. Sadly, all men are created equal.[/COLOR]

    just to balance things out a bit.

    but jokes aside, these type of comments are usually for people not confident in themselves AND in their marriage/relationship. basically you're wrong for each other!

    Original Poster

    [CENTER]http://images.cafepress.com/image/14695050_400x400.jpg[/CENTER]

    http://coolemails.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny_wedding_cake_top.jpg

    Original Poster

    http://x17.xanga.com/be1d9b64d9c34118145969/z84849718.bmp

    Original Poster

    [CENTER]http://www.mediacurmudgeon.com/FTBlog0307.jpg[/CENTER]

    Original Poster

    [CENTER]http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/computer_marriage..jpg[/CENTER]

    Original Poster

    [CENTER]http://www.jasonlove.com/cartoons/00988-funny-cartoons-marriage-book.gif[/CENTER]

    http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii78/chesso_photos/golddigger1.jpg

    Original Poster

    Buying A Bra -- A Cowboy's Poem

    I ain't much for shopping,
    Nor even goin' into town -
    Except at cattle-shipping time,
    I ain't easily found.
    But the day came when I had to go
    And I left the kids with ma.
    But before I left she asked me,
    "Would you pick me up a bra?"
    Without thinkin' I said "Sure,"
    How tough could that job be?
    I bent down and kissed her
    And said, "I'll be back by three."
    Well, when I done the things I needed,
    I started to regret
    Ever offering to buy that thing,
    I was working up a sweat.
    I crossed the street to the ladies shop
    With my hat pulled over my eyes,
    I wasn't takin' any chances
    On bein' recognized.
    I walked up to the sales clerk -
    I didn't hem or haw -
    I told the lady right straight out,
    "Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."
    From behind I heard some snickers,
    So I turned around to see
    At least fifteen women in the store
    And they's all gawkin' at me!
    "What kind would you be looking for?"
    "Well," I just scratched my head.
    I'd only seen one kind before
    "Thought bras was bras," I said.
    She gives me a disgusted look,
    "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
    Come with me," I heard her say,
    And like a dog, I tagged along.
    She took me down this alley
    Where bras was on display.
    Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
    When I seen that lingerie.
    They had all these different styles
    That I'd not seen before
    I thought that I'd go crazy
    'fore I left that women's store.
    They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
    And bras that cross your heart.
    There was bras that lift and separate,
    And that was just the start.
    They had bras that made you feel
    Like you weren't wearing one at all,
    And bras that you can train in
    When you start off when you're small.
    Well, I finally make my mind up -
    Picked a black and lacy one -
    I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
    And figured I was done
    But then she asked me for the size.
    I didn't hesitate.
    I knew them measurements by heart,
    "A six-and-seven-eighths."
    "Six and seven eighths, well sir,
    That really isn't right."
    "Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive,
    I just measured them last night."
    I thought that she'd go into shock,
    Musta took her by surprise
    When I told her that my wife's bust
    Was the same as my hat size.
    "That's what I used to measure with,
    I figured it was fair,
    But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
    This drew another stare.
    By now a crowd had gathered
    And they's all crackin' up
    When the lady asked to see my hat,
    To measure for the cup.
    When she finally had it figured,
    I gave the gal her pay.
    Then I turned to leave the store,
    Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
    My wife heard the whole story
    'fore I ever made it home.
    She'd talked to fifteen women
    Who'd called her on the phone.
    She was still a-laughin'
    But by then I didn't care.
    Now she don't ask and I don't shop
    For no more women's underwear.

    :giggle: :thumbsup:

    Don't show YS these :giggle: She might call it off

    snowtiger;2469176

    Buying A Bra -- A Cowboy's PoemI ain't much for shopping,Nor even goin' … Buying A Bra -- A Cowboy's PoemI ain't much for shopping,Nor even goin' into town -Except at cattle-shipping time,I ain't easily found.But the day came when I had to goAnd I left the kids with ma.But before I left she asked me,"Would you pick me up a bra?"Without thinkin' I said "Sure,"How tough could that job be?I bent down and kissed herAnd said, "I'll be back by three."Well, when I done the things I needed,I started to regretEver offering to buy that thing,I was working up a sweat.I crossed the street to the ladies shopWith my hat pulled over my eyes,I wasn't takin' any chancesOn bein' recognized.I walked up to the sales clerk -I didn't hem or haw -I told the lady right straight out,"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."From behind I heard some snickers,So I turned around to seeAt least fifteen women in the storeAnd they's all gawkin' at me!"What kind would you be looking for?""Well," I just scratched my head.I'd only seen one kind before"Thought bras was bras," I said.She gives me a disgusted look,"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.Come with me," I heard her say,And like a dog, I tagged along.She took me down this alleyWhere bras was on display.Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floorWhen I seen that lingerie.They had all these different stylesThat I'd not seen beforeI thought that I'd go crazy'fore I left that women's store.They had bras you wear for eighteen hoursAnd bras that cross your heart.There was bras that lift and separate,And that was just the start.They had bras that made you feelLike you weren't wearing one at all,And bras that you can train inWhen you start off when you're small.Well, I finally make my mind up -Picked a black and lacy one -I told the lady, "Bag it up,"And figured I was doneBut then she asked me for the size.I didn't hesitate.I knew them measurements by heart,"A six-and-seven-eighths.""Six and seven eighths, well sir,That really isn't right.""Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive,I just measured them last night."I thought that she'd go into shock,Musta took her by surpriseWhen I told her that my wife's bustWas the same as my hat size."That's what I used to measure with,I figured it was fair,But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."This drew another stare.By now a crowd had gatheredAnd they's all crackin' upWhen the lady asked to see my hat,To measure for the cup.When she finally had it figured,I gave the gal her pay.Then I turned to leave the store,Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."My wife heard the whole story'fore I ever made it home.She'd talked to fifteen womenWho'd called her on the phone.She was still a-laughin'But by then I didn't care.Now she don't ask and I don't shopFor no more women's underwear.



    Against my better nature, I DID read all of it!!!!

    PMSL!!!!

    Ta Snowy!

    Likes it!

    Banned

    Well done Snowtiger, brilliance again. :-D

    Banned

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