Found 21st Jun 2008
Ah, Married Life...

3 women: one engaged, one a mistress & one married, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men...that night, all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and a mask over their eyes!!!

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 12cms stilettos & mask. He saw me & said: 'You are the woman of my life, I love you' ... then we made love, sweet love all night long

The mistress: Ah! Me too...the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat & when I opened the raincoat he did not say anything.....but we had wild sex all night!!!

The married one: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night. I got myself ready: leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes...my husband comes back from work, opens the door and says.









'Alright Batman, what's for dinner...?'

Made me laugh anyway....hope it hasnt been posted before!

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Some others, but probably some double posts here too!

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started!"

Her boyfried asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfried decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box and turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He held her hand and said, "Second, just relax. Let's have a cup of coffee and then..... he sighed, "let's put all these Frosties back in the box."

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were Kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived, because

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.
When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags riding in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.

We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.

After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded.

We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms.

We had friends we went outside and found them.

We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones but there were no law suits.

We had full on fist fights but no prosecution followed from other parents

We played knock-and-run and were actualy afraid of the owners catching us.

We walked to friend's homes.

We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.They actually sided with the law.

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

For those of you who aren't old enough, thought you might like to read about us.

This my friends, is surprisingly frightening......and it might put a smile on your face: The majority of students in universities today were born in 1983........They are called youth.

They have never heard of We are the World, We are the children, and the Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel.

They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena or Belinda Carlisle.

For them, there has always been only one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born.

CD's have existed since they were born.

Michael Jackson has always been white.

To them John Travolta has always been round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission Impossible are Films from the last few years.

They can never imagine life before computers.

They'll never have pretended to be the A Team, RedHand Gang or the Famous Five.

They'll never have applied to be on Jim'll Fix It or Why Don't You.

They can't believe a black and white television ever existed and don't even know how to switch on a TV without a remote control.

And they will never understand how we could leave the house without a mobile phone.

Now let's check if we're getting old...

1. You understand what was written above and you smile.
2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night out.
3. Your friends are getting married/already married.
4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers.
5. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head.
6. You remember watching Dirty Den in EastEnders the first time around.
7. You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good old days, repeating again all the funny things you have experienced together.
8. Having read this mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other friends because you think they will like it too... Yes, you're getting older!!!!

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and David Beckham are standing in Heaven before the throne of God. God looks at them and says; "And so here you face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question."

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "Ronaldo, one of the world's greatest football players, what is it that you believe brought you here before me?" Ronaldo looks God in the eye and says passionately, "I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people, from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people, with little else, who stood on the terraces supporting their team." God smiles and offers Ronaldo a seat to his left.

He then turns to Luis Figo, "And similarly you, Luis, a hero to so many, what do you think it was brought you to my throne?" Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these commitments." God, moved by the passion of his speech offers Figo a seat to his right.

He then turns to Beckham, "And you, David. Presumably you want your ball back?"

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]As I Mature I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when
something isn't working in your house, one
of your kids did it

I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.
[/FONT]

Original Poster

i did try to search if it had been posted and couldnt see it!! sorry!!! like yours tho!!

louloo;2358177

i did try to search if it had been posted and couldnt see it!! sorry!!! … i did try to search if it had been posted and couldnt see it!! sorry!!! like yours tho!!



It was in my activity list! No need to be sorry! Glad you liked the funnies!

Original Poster

WantOne;2358184

It was in my activity list! No need to be sorry! Glad you liked the … It was in my activity list! No need to be sorry! Glad you liked the funnies!



and yes i remember all of the age things-even michael jackson not being white:roll:

WantOne;2358111

Some others, but probably some double posts here too!A blonde calls her … Some others, but probably some double posts here too!A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started!"Her boyfried asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."Her boyfried decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box and turns to her and says,"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."He held her hand and said, "Second, just relax. Let's have a cup of coffee and then..... he sighed, "let's put all these Frosties back in the box."



Love it!:-D
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