Metaphors from Student Essays ...........

6 replies
Found 19th Jun 2008 couldn't make them up. ??? !!!

.Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

  1. Misc
  2. Joke
  1. Misc
  2. Joke

Original Poster

Know Pun Intended

[*]A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
[*]What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
[*]Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
[*]A backwards poet writes inverse.
[*]In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
[*]She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
[*]A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
[*]If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
[*]With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
[*]Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A- flat minor.
[*]When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
[*]The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
[*]A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
[*]You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
[*]Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
[*]He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
[*]Every calendar's days are numbered.
[*]A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
[*]A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
[*]He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
[*]A plateau is a high form of flattery.
[*]The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
[*]Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
[*]Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
[*]Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
[*]When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
[*]Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
[*]Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
[*]Acupuncture is a jab well done.
[*]Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.[/LIST]

brilliant... cant laugh out enough!! work mates looking at me funny now!! have to stop!!

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.


forwarded to my girlfriend will make her laugh, I couldn't stop laughing...hope most of them got A+'s

[SIZE="7"]LOL classic[/SIZE]

Took me a while to get the clock one. Kept on reading it over and over again.... Four seconds lol :roll:
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