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    An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city
    one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
    A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?'
    'Why, I've been to the pub of course,'
    slurs the drunk.
    'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this
    evening.'
    'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
    'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across
    his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'
    'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk.
    'For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'


    ****************************
    *******************

    Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives
    at her door.
    'Brenda, may I come in?' he asks.
    'I've somethin' to tell ya'.
    'Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
    But where's my husband?'
    'That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda.'
    There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery...'
    'Oh, God no!' cries Brenda. 'Please don't tell me.' '
    I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus
    is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
    Finally, she looked up at Tim.
    'How did it happen, Tim?'

    'It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.'

    'Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
    Did he at least go quickly?'
    'Well, Brenda... no. In fact,
    he got out three times to pee.'

    4 Comments

    Can't see the joke - disappears when you click on 'more'

    looooooooool :thumbsup:

    :thumbsup:nearly as good as mine

    I can see it now :oops:

    Fabulous :-D :thumbsup:

    Hubby particularly liked the first joke !
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