More Vaseline (for Skusey)

1 reply
Found 8th Mar 2009
(Courtesy of Billy Conolly)

There was this Vaseline Salesman who was trying to up his sales, so
he decided to drive around a town in Scotland & distribute free samples.

When he had finished he returned to each house...

At the 1st house he knocked on the door & a guy answered "Hello, I dinnae know if ye remember me, I came by a couple o months
ago" "Yeah I remember ye, ye's the Vaseline man" said the man "did you use me product" "Aye" "What did you use it for if you dinnae mind me askin" "I used it for mechanical purposes - see I was greasing my crankshaft
& ran out, I grabbed the Vaseline & it worked wonders, gimme a couple
o tins in case o emergency"

At the 2nd house the salesman was greeted by a Middle Aged Woman "Hello, I dinnae know if ye remember me, I came by a couple o months
ago" "Yeah I remember ye, ye's the Vaseline man" said the Lady "did you use me product" "Aye" "What did you use it for if you dinnae mind me askin" "I used it for medical purposes - see me son was riding his bike & he came off & scraped his knee. Now we had no ointment in the house so I grabbed the Vaseline & it worked wonders, gimme a couple o tins in case o emergency"

At the 3rd house the salesman rings the bell & hears a great ruckus behind the door... As it's opened by a man 3 tiny heads also pop out "Aw dad who is he" "What do you do Mister" "Your dressed funny" The man of the house desperately pushes them back in & shouts "Get to ye rooms, ye nosy little b******s" "Sorry about that" said the man "It's no trouble" said the salesman "I'm quite used to it... I dinnae know if ye remember me, I came by a couple o months ago" "Yeah I remember ye, ye's the Vaseline man" said the man "did you use me product" "Aye" "What did you use it for if you dinnae mind me askin" "I used it for sexual purposes; it's the best night my wife & I have had in years - but we didnae use it for what I bet ye be thinking we did..." "OH" "Aye; I smeared it on the door handle so those nosy b*****s couldnae get in"

nice being the MVP
- skusey

1 Comment

Thank you, I love Billy Connolly
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