My first time..

13
Found 11th Sep 2017
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.”

  1. Misc
Groups
  1. Misc
Top comments

Uilleam179 h, 7 m ago

My first time buying condoms. I was third in the queue in the chemist …My first time buying condoms. I was third in the queue in the chemist shop,still in school uniform.The girl behind the counter says to the first guy, "what can i get you", he say's " I'd like to buy some condoms" so she says "what size are you" he says " I don't know" so she tells him to pop it on the counter and she'd measure it, he pops it on the counter so she has fiddle with it and shouts through to the back shop "Mabel bring me a packet if large size please", she does the same with the second guy and shouts "Mabel bring me a packet of medium size please". then it's my turn and she says "what size are you sonny" and i say I don't know so she tells me to stand on a seat and pop it on the counter and she has a fiddle with it and shouts "Mabel can you bring me some kitchen roll"


My sister was convinced you could tell the size of a bloke's manhood by the size of his feet.
She used to bring some right clowns home.
13 Comments

fanpages1 h, 48 m ago

Not the first time...[ …Not the first time...[ https://www.hotukdeals.com/comments/permalink/25478594 ][ https://www.hotukdeals.com/comments/permalink/26501106 ][ https://www.hotukdeals.com/comments/permalink/26816250 ][ https://www.hotukdeals.com/comments/permalink/26955811 ]...and the rest.


Mate that's impressive and a bit scary.

Original Poster

Didn't know how to search for a joke. But as Destard says, a bit scary.

mrty3 h, 32 m ago

Didn't know how to search for a joke. But as Destard says, a bit scary.


FanPages doesnt use search, he catalogues all threads in to his memory
Edited by: "StevenBrown" 12th Sep 2017

I tried to do a joke about doing a search on database table fanpages where joke like '%condom%'.. But the site blocked me for trying to post potentially dangerous code... Make of that what you will.

mrty4 h, 37 m ago

Didn't know how to search for a joke. But as Destard says, a bit scary.


Easy enough to do with google, still a bit weird though.

I wonder if this has been posted before ..

An Englishman,Irish man,Old woman and Beautiful Woman on a train

As the four sit in the train booth together the train goes through a tunnel and the booth goes dark for a few seconds SLAP!!!! When the train came out of the tunnel the Englishman had been slapped in the face! Everyone was stunned as they sat there wondering what had happened. The English man thinks to himself "I bet that Irishman tried to fondle that beautiful woman and she slapped me instead" The old woman thought " That pervert tried to touch her and he got slapped. Good for her!" The beautiful woman wondered "I bet he was trying to touch me but he touched the old woman and she slapped him. When the Irishman is thinking " I can't wait for another dark tunnel so I can SLAP that bloody Englishman again!"

Where do you find women like this?

My first time buying condoms.
I was third in the queue in the chemist shop,still in school uniform.The girl behind the counter says to the first guy, "what can i get you", he say's " I'd like to buy some condoms" so she says "what size are you" he says " I don't know" so she tells him to pop it on the counter and she'd measure it, he pops it on the counter so she has fiddle with it and shouts through to the back shop "Mabel bring me a packet if large size please", she does the same with the second guy and shouts "Mabel bring me a packet of medium size please". then it's my turn and she says "what size are you sonny" and i say I don't know so she tells me to stand on a seat and pop it on the counter and she has a fiddle with it and shouts "Mabel can you bring me some kitchen roll"

A display of plagiarism skill?!

Destard20 h, 38 m ago

Mate that's impressive and a bit scary.



That's not scary .. that's Fanpages ...... and his photographic memory (or a very long "favourites list")

Uilleam179 h, 7 m ago

My first time buying condoms. I was third in the queue in the chemist …My first time buying condoms. I was third in the queue in the chemist shop,still in school uniform.The girl behind the counter says to the first guy, "what can i get you", he say's " I'd like to buy some condoms" so she says "what size are you" he says " I don't know" so she tells him to pop it on the counter and she'd measure it, he pops it on the counter so she has fiddle with it and shouts through to the back shop "Mabel bring me a packet if large size please", she does the same with the second guy and shouts "Mabel bring me a packet of medium size please". then it's my turn and she says "what size are you sonny" and i say I don't know so she tells me to stand on a seat and pop it on the counter and she has a fiddle with it and shouts "Mabel can you bring me some kitchen roll"


My sister was convinced you could tell the size of a bloke's manhood by the size of his feet.
She used to bring some right clowns home.
Post a comment
Avatar
@
    Text

    Top Discussions

    Top Merchants