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    My nephew.

    He is 25, and has turned into a psycho.
    When he was 13, he lost his Mum(my Sister) due to cancer, he was such a sweet little lad, very clever at School but was a bit of a compulsive liar (no offence BJ1).
    He met a girl who was left a shed load of dosh (around £250k) and got caught up with drugs, drink and nicking cars.
    The last few months he landed in jail after holding a gun to his girlfriend(not a real gun it turned out), he was released a couple of weeks ago.
    I met his best friend on Saturday night and he had two black eyes, I asked him what had happened and he told me that he had been beaten up by....my nephew and held for 20 minutes with a knife to his throat, he has reported him to the police so he will be going back inside.


    The question is, can he keep blaming going off the rails to losing his Mum so young? I dont think he should.

    18 Comments

    No he shouldn't.

    He is old enough to take responsibility for his own actions, although he may need some kind of therapy to talk about what happened. And anger management classes too.

    not at all..my friend and 5 brothers and sisters lost there father who they were all very close too 5 yrs ago. They are all now in good jobs..own houses/cars..some have children and are the nicest people you would ever meet. There are 2 ways you can go from something like this happening..you can make the most of your life as its far too short or you can go off the rails which as we all know gets you no where.

    I guess you will never know if he would have turned out this way anyways-many people lose a parent at a young age and dont go off the rails this way. doesnt wash as an excuse for violence-holding a knife to someones throat is a vile act of cowardice and he should be held accountable for his actions.

    I know its hard since you are his family but you must not make excuses for his actions -he has made his bed so let him lie in it.

    My dad died just after my 15th birthday and i never went like that. I always find that using that as a answer is just an excuse and a attempt at a easy way out.

    I’ve got a cousin that is just the same, He was a great footballer and was on the books at Celtic at 16 he found Drink, Drugs and was stealing car’s, got put down for a year at the young offenders jail and swore never to go back in…. 3 weeks after he got out he was back in for another 6 months and now at 23 he is been in and out and is still in the jail now.

    He could have had it all but he or anyone else who is in the same situation,They can’t blame anyone else but themselves.

    The dude needs help. You should request a psychiatric report while he's in the clink for his own (and those around him) safety.

    Hi Skusey -

    You have asked a really tough one there.... And to be honest nobody is truly (onhere) goin to have the answers for you. Yes we can all add our two-pennith and what not, and in some cases more informed diagnosis than others - but really and truely ALL of us are unique.
    They even broke the mold when they made some of us!
    What he has gone through already - only you, your close family, perhaps the Dr and himself will truely understand.
    Therafter comes psychotherapy to help and assist. Add to this really sad situation the hormones and growin pains, and the actions that he associates with losing someone.

    Thinking about the g/f situation - after mum was gone - then there would or should have been a period of grief, and so on. If he gets close to somebody, and (say) she says that she wants out or similar - then you can almost see the panic that can come over an individual like that.....
    So desperate times and all that... So they try treir hardest to 'keep' the possession that they don't want to lose, an in some ways the 'if I can't hav you - noone can' as it is all too much to deal with......
    The subconscious and mind are terrible things when it comes to grief and unresolved past hurt.....
    The fact that you can see why is good - he DOES need help.... There is no two ways about that. But what help he gets is down to a lot of different factors.

    Such as if he can stay away from conflict - if not he will need help at HM Prisn Service, if he is deemed OK for external Care in the Community, he will need like somebody else above mentioned counselling to deal with anger and so on......
    It hurts like hell believe me.......

    There is always a sad story in everybody somewhere - and jus because OTHERS do it - it doesn't mean that one cap fits ALL. We are not all others - we are all unique, we all hurt, bleed, cry, and laugh.......
    All you can do is YOUR BEST.....

    Going inside can have lasting effects both positive and negative for people - but one thin is for sure - there are certainly some issues there that could do with a bit of a cuddle and TLC.....

    I feel for you I REALLY do......

    xxxxx

    Sorry to hear this, it's sad, but at 25, if he ain't prepared to change his ways, I don't think anyone can make him now.

    mbgringo;4467669

    The dude needs help. You should request a psychiatric report while he's … The dude needs help. You should request a psychiatric report while he's in the clink for his own (and those around him) safety.


    Good point!

    No, I went through a psycho stage with no external influences from grief loss etc. My own choice to take drugs thats what screwed me up, thinking back to what Ive done to people scares me still, the person I was then though is not the family man many people see me as now though.

    Theres no excuses for turning out like this though its all self inflicted.

    Its time for him to face his responsibilties and get his life in order.

    mbgringo;4467669

    The dude needs help. You should request a psychiatric report while he's … The dude needs help. You should request a psychiatric report while he's in the clink for his own (and those around him) safety.



    think you will find that the aunt of a 25 year old adult has no right to request any such thing.

    my bro is off the rails too he blaims it on my mum dying when we were young he was 20 at the time!!

    my lil bro who was 13 when she died hasnt turned out that whay i think its used as an excuse and ive told my bro that . . . .he doesnt speak to me anymore unsurprisingly!

    barky;4467909

    think you will find that the aunt of a 25 year old adult has no right to … think you will find that the aunt of a 25 year old adult has no right to request any such thing.



    I'm sure the aunt can suggest this to someone who can.

    And to be fair, he's off the rails, not a dribbling serial killer, he may well see sense in the suggestion and request one himself

    Original Poster

    barky;4467909

    think you will find that the aunt of a 25 year old adult has no right to … think you will find that the aunt of a 25 year old adult has no right to request any such thing.



    mbgringo;4467952

    I'm sure the aunt can suggest this to someone who can. And to be fair, … I'm sure the aunt can suggest this to someone who can. And to be fair, he's off the rails, not a dribbling serial killer, he may well see sense in the suggestion and request one himself



    I am his Uncle:oops:

    skusey;4469635

    I am his Uncle:oops:



    I thought that but then thought maybe you and Mrs Skusey had things you didn't want to share. ;-) lol

    skusey;4469635

    I am his Uncle:oops:



    Loooool!!!!

    Thought you were a dude, erm, dude! :-D

    Well and bravely said Harlzter:thumbsup:

    A good contribution, Cloud.

    The subconscious and mind are terrible things when it comes to grief and … The subconscious and mind are terrible things when it comes to grief and unresolved past hurt.....



    Blame for going off the rails - no I don't think he can attribute it to losing his mum. Does he actually say that himself? He clearly needs help and I fear that he won't be getting any as a criminal in this country. Stand by him the best you can, unless you think he'll be a danger to you and yours - in which case he'll have to make his own way in the world .

    brian1888;4467648

    I’ve got a cousin that is just the same, He was a great footballer and w … I’ve got a cousin that is just the same, He was a great footballer and was on the books at Celtic at 16 he found Drink, Drugs and was stealing car’s, got put down for a year at the young offenders jail and swore never to go back in…. 3 weeks after he got out he was back in for another 6 months and now at 23 he is been in and out and is still in the jail now.He could have had it all but he or anyone else who is in the same situation,They can’t blame anyone else but themselves.



    It could all have been much better if he had played for Rangers. :thumbsup:
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