Not sure how to summarise this... Read on...

Found 8th Dec 2016
My Fiancée has said 'lets not by Christmas presents and put the money towards the wedding'...

Which is totally understandable but should I still consider getting her a small gift, as it is Christmas after all
- or would that probably make her feel guilty for not getting my a gift in return?

  1. Ask
  1. Ask

Do it anyway!!!!

Or... Go back to her and say let's buy a little gift for each other but strictly at a budget of xxx i.e. £20.

Buy her a car

I'd discuss it with her first, she probably would feel guilty and slightly annoyed if you got he a gift and she didn't in return. Maybe suggest no more than £20 each?
Edited by: "spoo" 8th Dec 2016

Think bloke logic then do the reverse
Buy her a gift

I can only speak from expierience, a couple of years ago my better half said to me we won't buy any Christmas gifts for each other this year and instead put the money towards a nice holiday away in January when we would both be able to have time off work. Like yourself I thought I can't give her nothing on the big day and spent I'm pretty certain less than £20 on a small token gift. Well she went mad at me as she said it made her feel very guilty for not getting me anything despite the fact I was expecting nothing I just want her to have something to open on the day so I could see her happy face. How wrong was I. That was the longest Christmas day I've had in my life. I really do think it's one of those can't win situations as for all you know she may get you something small. My advice would be get something Christmas neutral i.e. can be given at any time and await what happens. If she gives you a small gift on the day you've got something to give back. If she dosen't then you've a treat in the bank for later on. Either way good luck!

Buy her something that you can use at the wedding then you are safe as she can't say you're wasting wedding funds

Do it because you want to, not because you took advice from a deals forum

or what ipswich said, much more tactful and no ambiguity over whether you were both testing the water.

dont get married save a fortune!

But her something but hold it back then only give it to her if she gives you one, so to speak X)

Me and may partner did this a few years ago, you'll probably find she's thinking the same thing.

Even though we'd done a 'no christmas' pact I made her a calendar using a 99p promotion from one of the online photo gift personalisation sites. Used photo's from our travels together and marked significant dates.

Just as well i did as she'd made me a batch of her gran's secret recipe cookies and tarted up a Tupperware box to make it look presentable.

I agree with others and suggest you both spend £20.

Id go with Gilderoys advice, keep a back up present just in case. if you don't use it and forget a birthday or anniversary your covered.8)

Buy it, wrap it, hide it. Keep hidden until she presents you with something. Or you could get one of the boxes from the cinema, two tickets, chocs and voucher for popcorn. Then it's a present you can both enjoy!

Or, you could give her something which has more sentimental value than financial value?

Give her money in one of those nice shiny Xmas envelopes (to buy herself something in the sales ?) .If she really wants to save it for the wedding then no problem You've killed 2 birds with one stone for the price of a 20p xmas envelope .

Buy her everything you normally would.... if you don't want to get married.

She's probably testing you. I'd definitely buy her something. I did that to my OH and he didn't get me a thing. Wasn't a happy Christmas. He does now though although I wouldn't say it again cos he ruddy wouldn't bother.

why dont you give her cheques eg 1 week of washing pots- 2 breakfast in bed- 2 massarges

Haha to some of the comments! I would still buy my fiance a gift even if we agreed that. I would still hope he got me something too, so she's more than likely hoping you would get her a little something. I'd suggest within £20, maybe an item that could be used for the wedding, some earrings? Good luck with whatever happens. If we don't see you on here on boxing day we'll know the outcome.. X)

Get her some sexy underwear, then it's a present for both of you

I would make something that won't cost very much in materials. Obviously put some time and effort in and I'm sure she'd appreciate it!

A suggestion would be to make a voucher book for you to do things for her that she can use at some point in the year. All you'd need would be paper/card and colouring pens and possibly printed photos or clip art!

Examples are vouchers to

make dinner/breakfast in bed or to do all the washing up/ironing

for her to choose a film/takeaway/
food/dayout for your both and you can't complain

for you to give her a massage or more...;)

Make her something. My hubby can make amazing bits via origami and costs very little, I.e nice paper/ cards

pick some free flowers from a neighbour's garden

Why don't you give her a card and a "pink ticket" inside. A "pink ticket" is a "free pass" which can be a night out for her (without you), or a pledge that you will do the housework/clean her car/etc etc.

Basically it's a gift of a promise that you do something which gives her a break/some free time.

The cheque book idea is always a winner, I also like the something for the wedding idea. Perhaps you could do some thoughtful gifts, which deliver the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Only the something new, like some earrings would be of any cost. Just a thought.

If you want some nukey at Xmas you better buy a small gift. X)

I recommend you go diving

Counter her suggestion by saying "Let's put money towards Christmas presents and not towards the wedding" and see what she says.


If you want some nukey at Xmas you better buy a small gift. X)

See I would be in a bad mood and he would get no nookie. If we had agreed no presents and he got me one and I'd nothing to give back, I'd be annoyed at him.


See I would be in a bad mood and he would get no nookie. If we had agreed … See I would be in a bad mood and he would get no nookie. If we had agreed no presents and he got me one and I'd nothing to give back, I'd be annoyed at him.

It's been so long I even forgot how to spell nookie. X)

Talk honestly

It's the only way of understanding each other


Get her some sexy underwear, then it's a present for both of you

As he/she says... get some sexy underwear, and if she says she hasn't got you anything you can say 'put these on then you can give me something...' She can't be angry then.;)

Wrap it up with a bow. Say it's something you can both enjoy lol

Original Poster

Thank you for all the comments, some rather interesting but on the whole very helpful...
We did speak about it and she is certain that she would rather save for the wedding, however I will go with the home made 'voucher book' tickets which she can cash in at any time.
Edited by: "jai47" 9th Dec 2016
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