Found 22nd Sep 2008
Add any of your funny/sick one liners here.......

(think this has been done a while back but thought i would make a new one and see if there is anymore)


  1. Misc
  1. Misc

Original Poster Banned

A baby seal walks into a club...

A closed mouth gathers no foot

[SIZE="5"]My dentist just won 'dentist of the year' All he got was a little plaque. [/SIZE]

[LEFT]If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? [/LEFT]

[SIZE="5"]My grandad was given 24 hours to live, so he drank a bottle of vodka then ate a box of fireworks... Hey it didn't save his life, but it gave us ONE HELL of a show at the cremation. [/SIZE]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A will is a dead giveaway.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a mussel.

Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis


Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

Original Poster Banned


Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

aww poor pcnutta! lol

A man walked into the doctors,

The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'

The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler


Don't get married.

Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

It's a lot easier on you.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.

He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'


Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Two blondes walk into a bar , you would have thought one of them would have seen it

My Grandad has got parkinsons........ He can't stop interviewing people.

Black holes - I don't know what people see in them.
Post a comment
    Top Discussions
    1. Android pay set up56
    2. disneyland paris tickets11
    3. Cineworld - possible to book film for future at counter to save booking fee…55
    4. Whey protien621

    See more discussions