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    Passport Application

    Banned
    Dear Minister,

    I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

    How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

    How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

    How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time. Do you people do this by hand?

    You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

    Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

    I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

    Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!

    Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

    I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

    Yours sincerely,

    An Irate British Citizen.

    16 Comments

    Original Poster Banned

    shibi din;1805341

    http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/158440/passport-application-letter/ … http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/158440/passport-application-letter/ :-DYou obviously weren't around that day!!



    Soz about that! You are right....I never saw it (and to be honest didnt see the need to check!!)

    Original Poster Banned

    And I spent ages editing out the > from the email!

    Doh!

    guv;1805354

    And I spent ages editing out the > from the email!Doh!



    LOL :lol:

    :giggle:
    At least you're safe!!

    Original Poster Banned

    chesso;1805389

    :giggle:At least you're safe!!



    What - from being banned for double posting - or low flying aircraft!!!

    Banned

    guv;1805402

    What - from being banned for double posting - or low flying aircraft!!!



    I've never read that before so thanks

    guv;1805402

    What - from being banned for double posting - or low flying aircraft!!!


    Both (although with the new suspension option ...)!:-D

    What is the exact point ? Is it a nonsensical BNP rant ?, remember the government is a money powered organisation anyway but the ideal of a passport is to safeguard a persons identity - the thing that holds bank accounts, owns a house, car and other valuables hence the measures in place ..

    Banned

    I thought a new birth certificate cost about £10 ?

    wierdowoss;1805965

    I thought a new birth certificate cost about £10 ?


    3.50 got one few weeks ago.

    Lulu'sMammy;1806653

    3.50 got one few weeks ago.



    Does that mean you are re-born, Lulu'sMam?? ;-)

    Means i bought one for a child....and im not a reborn, but i am a he/she!

    Birth certificate prices vary. I am guessing that LL'sM upgraded her baby's 'short' certificate for a 'long' one.
    Since it was the 1st one, it is cheaper.

    Original Poster Banned

    myaser88;1805760

    What is the exact point ? Is it a nonsensical BNP rant ?,



    Why would it be a BNP rant? Oh - because it mentions an immigrant Doctor from Pakistan? Sorry, it doesnt work if you say Dr Smith from London and that point is quite relevant to the point of "his letter." Would you have prefered he said Dr Yankee instead?


    remember the government is a money powered organisation anyway but the … remember the government is a money powered organisation anyway but the ideal of a passport is to safeguard a persons identity - the thing that holds bank accounts, owns a house, car and other valuables hence the measures in place ..



    Sorry, just fell in. This was your "April Fools" rant?

    How silly of me to not realise it. Nice one.

    Banned

    guv;1811544

    Why would it be a BNP rant? Oh - because it mentions an immigrant Doctor … Why would it be a BNP rant? Oh - because it mentions an immigrant Doctor from Pakistan? Sorry, it doesnt work if you say Dr Smith from London and that point is quite relevant to the point of "his letter." Would you have prefered he said Dr Yankee instead? Sorry, just fell in. This was your "April Fools" rant?How silly of me to not realise it. Nice one.



    :thumbsup:
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