Play the "needs" game

In speech marks, type your forename followed by the word "needs" into a search engine and post any humourous/interesting results. You don't have to post your name if you don't want to.

I'll get the ball rolling in the next post


Original Poster

Gareth needs tons of wax to mantain his 2-2-1 hair style.


Luke needs a touch from God once again

(i dont ever remember him touching me before....maybe i was young....sicko)

"Chris Needs hosts his own music and chat show every weeknight on BBC Radio Wales"

I'm not sure that worked quite right!

Suzanne needs her own ipod and hundreds of pounds of dental work!!!

Helen needs your immediate attention.

Helen needs to write more.

Helen needs to change her life and quickly.

Helen needs to find some soldiers that were in the 4th Infantry Division, 1/11 C Company, at Fort Carson, CO from 1979-1980.

Helen needs your money.

Helen needs to reverse back into a parking space so the motor has to rotate in the opposite direction.

Helen needs a mojito!

Helen needs to make sure none of her beloved penguins are gay.

Helen needs a cat free environment.

Helen needs the new owner at325 Crestwood Terrace to shut up a minute.

Helen needs to learn to let go and delegate.

Yvonne needs a spankin now!

and here's me thinking I've been a good girl lol


Yvonne needs to find a person who is as strong-willed as she is, but who will not try to dominate or compete with her.

Original Poster


well, I need "a quivering antenna", there were too many to mention, but … well, I need "a quivering antenna", there were too many to mention, but that was at the top of page 2,lol:-D

I think sneeking onto page 2 is acceptable if there is nothing interesting on page 1. As is a slight amendment of grammar if it doesn't make sense.

I can see this one catching on!

Jane needs to find an introduction to alcoholism so she can decide what aspect of the disease is most interesting to her. :oops:

Original Poster

Gareth needs strong powerful men. we only employ the best.

I wonder what my wife would say lol.

Original Poster


yeh, page 2 gets bizarrehere's some from page 1Kelly needs your help … yeh, page 2 gets bizarrehere's some from page 1Kelly needs your help again!!!Kelly needs her brother backstageKelly needs to slow downKelly needs to date a fireman - lol, now that one I like:-DKelly needs to grow up - sheesh I don't even know them:pKelly needs a massageI agree I think this thread could last a while:)

I can help with the last one

Tony needs his Booboo's kissed,,,,,?

Apparently ... I also need servicing... LOOOL

Original Poster


Tony needs his Booboo's kissed,,,,,?

lol, the mind boggles

Apparently I just need a job!

Original Poster

"Gareth needs to refine his basic technique by placing his feet appropriately in the run-up immediately prior to delivery"

Hope whoever it is, is talking about cricket and nothing else lol

;-) BERTY needs a busty!

page 1 = Fat Pete Needs Jenny and pete needs a bath :-(

Evil David ‘needs love’
Dirty David needs a wash - or at least a dry clean

First result: Andrew needs love.

Andrew needs a real dog
Andrew needs $2100 in political contributions in 2008 [although I'd settle for it in 2009 :thumbsup:]

and on page 2:

Andrew needs to come to El Paso.

Right, off to pack my bags, swing by the dog's home on my way to the airport, enrol as a political party member, and.....well.....any suggestions on the love front?

lol funny

Steve needs to find a squirrel hitman

and a few hits down....

Steve needs a new home. He is chipped and castrated


Noel needs someone to help him carry out his suicide.
WOW....not funny, but thats what it says

Kelly needs to be thrown in prison if this girl is under age!

Louise needs professional help! Lol

Dawn Needs a Tripod ..... :thinking:

Dawn needs to get over herself ...:shock:

Good game! :-D

Claire needs a visit to the bunny plannet

Claire needs a weeeeeeeeee.... have some babies. (woah, I don't think so) go. (where?)
...your vote at
...our help. disciplining.
...some discipline. (guess it's who you ask) write about her crazy family. (haha) go pee. (kinda) stop. So I will now.


Jane needs to find an introduction to alcoholism so she can decide what … Jane needs to find an introduction to alcoholism so she can decide what aspect of the disease is most interesting to her. :oops:


Michael needs a girlfriend

Michael needs mum

and the most random entry.........

Michael needs a life without c**k - bit worried about that one!!!

Andrea needs to be able to create written material (true)
A family for Andrea needs to be active and fun loving, but also very firm
Andrea is where she needs to be right now (true)
Andrea really likes zoos, more than most people. (true)
andrea needs some help coming up with stalker songs (huh?)
Andrea needs to take a bus to the airport (no thanks)
Andrea needs a profession in which she can express her inventive and idealistic side (sounds good)

Andrea needs a lot of special care. But she is very quiet and easygoing. She is very caring. She has a beautiful smile and is very sweet

Andrea needs to be promoted to Commodore Andrea

Andrea needs to take her game to a new level

Andrea is a woman who needs compassion, who needs to be held and comforted

Andrea needs to make copies and post ASAP

Andrea offers a variety of headsets to meet your specific needs

Original Poster

"Tony needs his Booboo's kissed,,,,,"

Has to be the best so far lol

"Mo needs picking off before he gets even grimmer"


lisa needs to get a life :oops:

Paul needs a haircut
Paul needs to be detained for his own safety
Paul needs a lot of help


rob needs help getting his mini to a spray shop

Original Poster

Could be a tricky one rob lol

needs to step-up and fulfill the potential he showed at the beginning
needs all the positive wardrobe reinforcement he can get
needs throwing in the Thames and drowning
needs your help to get back his ability to have a father/son relationship with his father
needs a haircut (which is actually true)
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