Groups

    Possible Weird Xmas Gift fot the Ex...?

    So, my partner and I decided to take leave from our 3 year relationship, a couple of weeks ago. It was very mutual and we are still living in the same house, with our son. It just wasn't working out between us and we are currently very close friends...who share a bed...and other things. I will be moving out soon, perhaps after Xmas.

    I purchased an engagement ring some months ago, in anticipation for the "right moment", but there wasn't one. We still love each other very much and will always be there for one another. So, is it odd if I give her the un-proposed engagement ring to her for Christmas? Perhaps, as a promise-type ring?

    Personally, I thought it was a nice idea, but just looking to do some field research with this one!

    Many Thanks

    19 Comments

    Balls to that, sell it and get yourself a PS4 mate
    Edited by: "weaselpiece" 4th Dec 2016

    Depending on what you spent, buy a decent tele too!

    Unless you are willing to give it another go I would say it is just going to confuse things at the moment. You say you still love each other and are good friends, are you sure you just don't need your heads banging together? If nothing bad has happened then it sounds like you both need a kick up the backside.....

    Edited by: "POWYSWALES" 4th Dec 2016

    Original Poster

    weaselpiece

    Balls to that, sell it and get yourself a PS4 mate



    Already have one, but I see where you're coming from

    Original Poster

    POWYSWALES

    Unless you are willing to give it another go I would say it is just going … Unless you are willing to give it another go I would say it is just going to confuse things at the moment. You say you still love each other and are good friends, are you sure you just don't need your needs banging together? If nothing bad has happened then it sounds like you both need a kick up the backside.....



    Well, I'm quite a stressful and angry person. We used to fight a lot and we are just not romantically compatible. We both have passed issues which conflict with one another's. But, I still care for her, as she does for me.
    I'm not familiar with that phrase...need our needs banging together?

    What's the odds she has completely different ideas about this "relationship" including what she's doing with other people ?
    By all means get her a gift but don't give it until she hands one over to you first.
    Edited by: "thedvdmonster" 4th Dec 2016

    lukiezgo

    Well, I'm quite a stressful and angry person. We used to fight a lot and … Well, I'm quite a stressful and angry person. We used to fight a lot and we are just not romantically compatible. We both have passed issues which conflict with one another's. But, I still care for her, as she does for me. I'm not familiar with that phrase...need our needs banging together?


    Should have said "heads" But yes from what you are saying it sounds like it is over. Ignore what I said.

    Original Poster

    thedvdmonster

    What's the odds she has completely different ideas about this … What's the odds she has completely different ideas about this "relationship" including what she's doing with other people ?By all means get her a gift but don't give it until she hands one over to you first.



    Well we're pretty close atm. We live in the same house, share the same bed, etc. All I needed to know was if its weird to give her the engagement ring. She did say previously that she wanted to see it, plus we're going to be in each other's lives forever so I thought it woukd be a nice...sending off gift...haha

    short and simple answer is.......NO
    If the ring was for engagement then that is all it should be for. no relationship = no ring

    Banned

    your in a confused relationship.
    you sleep in the same bed means you are still dating each other.
    if you were serious about leaving I think you would have slept on the sofa etc.
    if you want a break pal, I suggest you take a little break. stay for a short while in your mum's for example and keep the ring untill valentines day or her birthday or even yours.

    for the mean time ask her about her emotions before she finds someone else, you may be keeping your feelings quite at heart while she probably thinks you don't find her attractive anymore.

    who would sleep in the same bed if you call them an ex ??

    And this is why I finally got myself the motorcycle.

    But to the point - I would say you should keep that ring for later unless you feel like you want to fix your relationship and stay together. This is an engagement ring ffs. You are on the way to disengaging after what you said so you have basically answered your own question.

    If she's worth it, fight. If not, leave.

    Sleep on the sofa.
    Don't give her the engagement ring.
    If it's over, show her the signs that you are separating, not sleep in the same bed like it's going to blow over.

    Buy her a copy of the film "Friends With Benefits", and keep a pack of condoms handy - just in case.

    OK this is a weird situation. If your still living together, sharing a bed and still sleeping together then your not split up or taking a break at all. If you have a kid then are you sure your not just going through a "phase"? Romance pretty much goes out the window for most couples who have kids. Giving her an engagement ring even if its not for that purpose will send the wrong message. A promise ring is something you give to show your committed to that person, not that your going to split up with them.

    Original Poster

    01percivali

    OK this is a weird situation. If your still living together, sharing a … OK this is a weird situation. If your still living together, sharing a bed and still sleeping together then your not split up or taking a break at all. If you have a kid then are you sure your not just going through a "phase"? Romance pretty much goes out the window for most couples who have kids. Giving her an engagement ring even if its not for that purpose will send the wrong message. A promise ring is something you give to show your committed to that person, not that your going to split up with them.



    We both understand how weird the situation is. And, no, we are split up, we have had indepth discussions about it and we are definitely not working.
    I just needed to know if the engagement ring was a good recycle of the initial intention. But its looks like everyone is expressing the doubt I had. Thanks.

    Sell the ring and put the money towards one of you moving out. If not it will just end up getting nasty.

    Original Poster

    Wadda

    Sell the ring and put the money towards one of you moving out. If not it … Sell the ring and put the money towards one of you moving out. If not it will just end up getting nasty.



    What I'd prefer is to gve it to her and tell her to sell it, if she wished. Then she could have that money for a nanny, with us both working stupid hours. Is that better? Or no? It would be nice to view that outcome haha

    Does the ring look like a typical engagement ring , if not you could pass it off as a friendship ring, as you will always have a connection because of your son. If it is typical engagement ring then I would say no, sell it and maybe buy her a gift from your son with the proceeds

    While I applaud your honesty with each other it is very strange to not be in a relationship and still sleeping together. I do hope that you are doing the right thing in respect to your son. You do not mention his age and I hope he is still a babe because you are likely to be causing him pain and confusion with your current situation.

    As to your question if you are as honest with each other as you say then explain the situation with tthe ring and let her decide.
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. Decent hoover66
      2. Hard drive 'died'(?), what can I do? (for computer wizards please!)46
      3. Job Centre sending text to confirm appointment66
      4. Iptv814

      See more discussions