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Problems with upstairs neighbours, advice please?

29
Found 25th Feb
Hello there, I’m after some advice really. We live in a flat with another flat above. A family of 5 moved in above in September ‘17. Met them, introduced ourselves etc. They asked if I could hear them & I said yes I can hear you talking, kids running around, doors slamming etc. They asked so I thought I’d be honest in the hope they may be a little more considerate. They asked about our jobs etc and I said my husband wakes for work at 4am & my son and I aren’t far behind so we all go to bed early, son 7pm & us 9pm. I believe I’m quite tolerant however their noise is getting me down & I work from home so hear more than if I was out of the house. They are a Hindu family and the man regularly chants, morning, daytime and evening. The two older children go to school & seem to walk home alone. At 3pm they all go to bed until 6.30pm. Just as I’m trying to settle / read to our son, they wake. The screaming, banging, singing, etc is non stop. The cooking smells are all day everyday and their extractor seems to blow straight down into our bathroom window so I have to keep it shut. They have regular ‘meetings’ upstairs with around 40 people all singing, the noise is unbearable & their front door is left wide open. The one issue that is causing me greatest worry is that they leave the children alone, 1year, 4 years and 8 years in half term / weekends. It might be 10 mins to shop but I’ve noticed it’s up to an hour sometimes. I can hear the baby crying and it breaks my heart. So I feel torn, if I again speak to them it’s going to cause an issue, I want to report them for leaving the children alone as this is so wrong. They moved from India a year ago so I’m thinking that they possibly don’t know that it’s not the done thing in the UK. I’m aware i could log with local council in regard to noise. I’m scared of being called a racist when it’s completely not true. If I speak to social services, it’s so obvious that it’s me. The only time we get any peace is one hour on a Sunday morning when they all go to church. The rest of the time, they are in. The baby only goes out for that one hour a week, nothing else. I sound so nosey but our flats are in such close proximity that they walk by our windows. I do hope you lovely lot can help me feel a bit better. Thanks for reading
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There's a whole bunch of stuff going on there but the welfare of the children is an absolute priority.
Leaving them alone is just not acceptable so this must be reported.
How would you feel if there was a fire in their flat whilst they were alone and you said nothing?
I'd honestly suggest trying to talk to them, maybe just knock on their door, and have a relaxed conversation regarding any issues you may face, as long as you are not making any loud noises or any inconvenience I don't see that anything is your fault and they cannot blame you for anything. I really suggest just talking to them, maybe just about the loud noises and any other problems you have with them.
parsimony8 m ago

There's a whole bunch of stuff going on there but the welfare of the …There's a whole bunch of stuff going on there but the welfare of the children is an absolute priority.Leaving them alone is just not acceptable so this must be reported.How would you feel if there was a fire in their flat whilst they were alone and you said nothing?


These are the thoughts I’ve been having and I’m so worried
Manny509 m ago

I'd honestly suggest trying to talk to them, maybe just knock on their …I'd honestly suggest trying to talk to them, maybe just knock on their door, and have a relaxed conversation regarding any issues you may face, as long as you are not making any loud noises or any inconvenience I don't see that anything is your fault and they cannot blame you for anything. I really suggest just talking to them, maybe just about the loud noises and any other problems you have with them.


My husband said to them again when he bumped into them that we can hear them and the man said sorry but nothing changed. I have also put a note through the door saying that they are waking my son up at around 10pm and could they please try and keep the noise down.
That is a difficulty with flats, they just aren’t soundproofed enough so you are likely to hear some noise from a family. If your saying they are really loud it will be difficult to approach them and if you do offend them your life will be made a living hell, it sounds to me like they are heavily involved in their community who you will also end up offending and could turn nasty. Best thing to do is leave well alone and if possible move, perhaps to a house and detached if noise bothers you.
Noise complaint and concerns for child welfare. I believe times for unreasonable disturbance are 11pm-7am. Racism doesn’t come into it, they’re affecting your quality of life. Do something about it, you’ll feel better and hopefully they’ll get some respect for their neighbours.
cmdr_elito4 m ago

That is a difficulty with flats, they just aren’t soundproofed enough so y …That is a difficulty with flats, they just aren’t soundproofed enough so you are likely to hear some noise from a family. If your saying they are really loud it will be difficult to approach them and if you do offend them your life will be made a living hell, it sounds to me like they are heavily involved in their community who you will also end up offending and could turn nasty. Best thing to do is leave well alone and if possible move, perhaps to a house and detached if noise bothers you.


I think I’m very tolerant as I understand children run around, cry, scream, etc however it’s really not a normal level of daily noise. I would love to move but we are with a private landlord and I have no deposit going forward until I’d get my existing one back.
You could drop a letter bringing to their attention the laws of the land regarding noise pollution and care towards children along with a few examples where people have been charged / deported / kids taken away.
speedy386911 m ago

I think I’m very tolerant as I understand children run around, cry, s …I think I’m very tolerant as I understand children run around, cry, scream, etc however it’s really not a normal level of daily noise. I would love to move but we are with a private landlord and I have no deposit going forward until I’d get my existing one back.


That’s a pretty difficult situation. I’ve seen people upset others and things can get much worse and bring in half the neighbourhood. When I last lived in a flat the neighbours below fell out with the neighbours above us, half the world from local druggies etc got dragged into it, their were fights, intimidation, criminal damage etc. The neighbour downstairs then put the upstairs neighbours windows in, upstairs then broke into their place and it was all really crazy, we were literally caught in the middle.
Not a nice situation at all, sadly on noise, realistically nothing can or will be done, unless THEY or YOU leave...
Been in a VERY similar situation, eventually tennant was evicted(non payment of rent)...but months of HELL!!!...police useless(its INDOORS)...PCSO nice, but sadly toothless.. letting agent !!!! didn't give a s##t, till rent stopped!!
Sadly, as someone said, move to a DETATCHED property best option..
Genuinely, sorry...
Do they share a landlord with yourself or maybe a shared letting agent? If so approach them.
The children should not be left. Have a word with the dad, tell him unless things change you will be compelled to report them.
Make sure you keep a noise and abandonment diary. The later, do you know that only the kids are in. Is there maybe an inattentive auntie left with them.
There is no excuse for being anti social.
As for comments about moving and ignoring, that is why society today is . A little social ownership goes a long way.
It might be worth keeping a detailed diary of the incidents, noise, timings etc. So that if you do decide to pursue with the matter, you’ll have evidence.

When I lived in a flat, I had an extremely loud woman below and I heard explicit things all the time, without saying too much. I kept a diary and even recorded the noise one day, to demonstrate that noise travels.
I would talk to them. Maybe they are not aware of how much sound is coming through. Ask them to hear it for themselves.if that fails contact the council and record all calls and meeting. Tell them first. Then the council will hopefully treat you better.

Id say about leaving the kids to them first. They probably dont know its neglect here.
im not sure but isnt there a law stating how many kids can live in a room or something?
how many bedrooms is ithe apartment?
Edited by: "mattsk" 25th Feb
Oneday778 m ago

Do they share a landlord with yourself or maybe a shared letting agent? If …Do they share a landlord with yourself or maybe a shared letting agent? If so approach them. The children should not be left. Have a word with the dad, tell him unless things change you will be compelled to report them. Make sure you keep a noise and abandonment diary. The later, do you know that only the kids are in. Is there maybe an inattentive auntie left with them. There is no excuse for being anti social. As for comments about moving and ignoring, that is why society today is . A little social ownership goes a long way.


No we don’t, separate private landlords. I’ve tried to find out who but no luck. There’s definitely no one with them, I’ve heard the older girl saying as the dad goes back through the door that the baby has been crying
mattsk3 m ago

im not sure but isnt there a law stating how many kids can live in a room …im not sure but isnt there a law stating how many kids can live in a room or something?how many bedrooms is ithe apartment?


They are 2 bedroom flats
speedy386913 m ago

No we don’t, separate private landlords. I’ve tried to find out who but no …No we don’t, separate private landlords. I’ve tried to find out who but no luck. There’s definitely no one with them, I’ve heard the older girl saying as the dad goes back through the door that the baby has been crying


It's £3 to find out who the Landlord is. Link
Edited by: "OllieSt" 25th Feb
OllieSt2 m ago

It's £3 to find out who the Landlord is. Link


Thanks so much, will look into this
1st question is do they speak English???
I don't think they understand or even know english laws regarding children under a certain age must be looked after by a adult 247. Please explain that to them before you report them and at the same time say your kids make too much noise. It will break their hearts if you just report them to child services so use that as the last option.
Hindus normally pray and chant lound so i can't comment on that one and when you say they have a big group of people attending that's a religious ceremony which they lite fire, chant with bells and pray etc. Unfortunately this will carry on until they are there.
Had the same problem re the noise. Kids running around screaming 12 hours a day, doors being banged constantly, adults shouting, loud music etc. According to our local Council they would not intervene as they do not tell children off for being children. Fair enough, but should children be up all hours, allowed to scream at the top of their voices all day or jump up and down so much that my light fittings were swaying. Council totally useless. Made no difference that my child could not sleep for the noise or relax at home at all. Ended up moving.
I havnt read through everyone's responses so it may have already been said but this is my opinion on it. If I were you I wouldn't bother trying to ask them to be quieter again because you've already told them and they don't seem to care.
I would report them to your local council for noise disturbance/nuisance noise whatever it's called. Keep doing everytime it happens. Council will send them a letter. They send a few I believe be before they act but they can be evicted if they are doing this repeatedly and not trying to be quieter. I wouldn't worry about them knowing you reported their noise.

With regards to the children I would say if you are genuinely feeling something not right with them being left alone that's your heart telling you you already know you should report it. Children are not allowed to be left alone ant those young ages for saftey reasons and common sense would normally come into play so they should know this already, yet they are leaving their young children in the care of an 8 year old! I'd report that too!
I really hope you can get some peace from this as I know myself what misery having noisy neighbours can cause you. Best of luck with it
Edited by: "LeahsMintytoutou" 25th Feb
Having lived in a flat with horrible downstairs neighbours and upstairs neighbours I feel for you.

My landlord was useless and downstairs would turn our water supply off because I had 3 kids upstairs that were playing like normally kids. He would play loud music so much so you could feel the vibrations. I'm not saying we were quiet as mice just normal noise but it took loads of effort on myself to get the landlord you put in thick underlay. I told downstairs that the landlord isn't listening to me and they'll take it more seriously if he complains directly but he was a lazy git and council couldn't do anything as both landlords were different.

Regarding the kids I think they're probably unaware as it's not uncommon in India to have siblings look after each other while parents get on with other things. I know back in the 70s or 80s it wasn't uncommon in the UK either so please don't judge them for that but make them aware of they continue to do so you will be reporting them and that social services may take their children away from them.

Oh and Hindus don't go church so that confuses me. They go to the temple. Have you by any chance got a Tamil family living above you as they can be thoroughly noisy and most probably Christian.
Just talk to them, don't go down the path of reporting folk like some narrow-minded people have suggested.
mattsk5 h, 16 m ago

im not sure but isnt there a law stating how many kids can live in a room …im not sure but isnt there a law stating how many kids can live in a room or something?how many bedrooms is ithe apartment?


Nope.
Misslovely9 h, 20 m ago

1st question is do they speak English??? I don't think they understand or …1st question is do they speak English??? I don't think they understand or even know english laws regarding children under a certain age must be looked after by a adult 247. Please explain that to them before you report them and at the same time say your kids make too much noise. It will break their hearts if you just report them to child services so use that as the last option. Hindus normally pray and chant lound so i can't comment on that one and when you say they have a big group of people attending that's a religious ceremony which they lite fire, chant with bells and pray etc. Unfortunately this will carry on until they are there.


They speak English to their children but not to each other. I believe they understood what I was saying to them as they said sorry but nothing changed
Maybe they were moved out of another property because of the noise.
Get your landord to fix the issues with sound proofing as when I tried to apply for hmo. There where lots of strict rules on noise proofing fire proofing and separate staircase for more than 1 family in the proerty so didn't bother with that route. Ask him fix extractor fan if u can smell all the food. But to me that sounds abit of a paranoia if you saying stuff like the food smells. And baby crying sadly no one can do anything about that until it grows up but then there maybe another one . You could get a house of that Landlord whose banned curries from being cooked in his house though probably be easier for you.
Edited by: "MynameisM" 26th Feb
I would suggest that you write to your landlord, explain the nuisance and ask them to contact the managing agents of the block of flats who in turn should be able to enforce the terms of the lease of the apartment (re noise pollution). I’m not talking about the tenants lease I mean the the actual leasehold conditions on purchase of the flat by the owner from the freeholder. In the past I’ve had trouble with upstairs neighbours installing a laminate flooring instead of carpeting. Reported them to the managing company (who collects the service charge and ground rent) and they in turn contacted the actual flat owner to get the carpet reinstalled.
Edited by: "Toptrumpet" 26th Feb
talk to your local council and ask for a noise log and ask about the 24 ASB team, they normally have a 24 hour service.
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