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    Proud to be British???!!!

    Just seen this in my local rag :giggle: :giggle: :-


    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

    Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION......
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
    British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Christmas cracker-pulling accidents.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

    And finally: In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    Proud to be British???!!!

    31 Comments

    That is so funny :giggle:

    Banned

    You forgot one thing - Whilst claiming BRITISH benefits :thumbsup:

    Brilliant

    We're bonkers......that's the way I like it!!:giggle: :-D

    Proud to be British as your Kosovan next door neighbour pulls up outside in his RS Turbo which was paid for by your income tax, enters his house which is rent free becuase it's paid for by you and sit's down to his Chinese take-away, again paid for by you.

    While the same thing costs you £3,000 for the car, £90 a week for the rent and £10 for the takeaway!

    That's so funny!! :giggle: :giggle:

    Did you notice how many involved Christmas?!:-D

    Banned

    Going home to your GERMAN dog :?

    http://www.perrosamigos.com/images/rottweiller.jpg

    JDeal

    Popping into Tesco and getting you Scottish dog :?



    Lost me on that one mate.

    Banned

    Its a border collie - a scottish dog!

    beerman1

    Lost me on that one mate.



    Me too - but very cute picture!

    I love being British our national quirks!

    :giggle:

    border collies are welsh and i cant see a picture

    Banned

    You can get Welsh ones, yes, but that is a scottish one. I had one of each :thumbsup:

    But are Wales and Scotland not British?, lol.

    And I can't see any mysterious pic either.

    i cant see your picture, all i see is an x

    I can't even see an X, where are we looking?

    beerman1

    I can't even see an X, where are we looking?




    i can see an X...no hang on thats my x under the patio!!! :whistling: :giggle:

    Banned

    beerman1

    But are Wales and Scotland not British?, lol.And I can't see any … But are Wales and Scotland not British?, lol.And I can't see any mysterious pic either.



    Spose they are - you clever so and so.

    One moment...

    Dino, you forgot to add "Asking Russian about how to configure Swiss VoIP to make cheap phone calls next door" :-D

    Original Poster

    Kommunist

    Dino, you forgot to add "Asking Russian about how to configure Swiss VoIP … Dino, you forgot to add "Asking Russian about how to configure Swiss VoIP to make cheap phone calls next door" :-D

    Ummmm, Yes I did.:whistling:

    Banned

    Should add home to a Thai wife as well :giggle:

    Seen that before Is very good

    FonZe

    i can see an X...no hang on thats my x under the patio!!! :whistling: … i can see an X...no hang on thats my x under the patio!!! :whistling: :giggle:



    :giggle: Hoping that there are no police officers on here????

    Banned

    I love being British and everything that goes with it... been a few places around the world and always loved coming back home :thumbsup:

    Banned

    kelly_o_fanatic

    :giggle: Hoping that there are no police officers on here????



    funny you should mention it ...YES the is a member of the police here... something you want to discus :whistling:

    beerman1

    Proud to be British as your Kosovan next door neighbour pulls up outside … Proud to be British as your Kosovan next door neighbour pulls up outside in his RS Turbo which was paid for by your income tax, enters his house which is rent free becuase it's paid for by you and sit's down to his Chinese take-away, again paid for by you.While the same thing costs you £3,000 for the car, £90 a week for the rent and £10 for the takeaway!


    u have got it in a nut shell !!! its annoying aint it !!! only british would put up with the likes of that and if u dare say anything its a racist comment ....:?

    mstiny

    u have got it in a nut shell !!! its annoying aint it !!! only british … u have got it in a nut shell !!! its annoying aint it !!! only british would put up with the likes of that and if u dare say anything its a racist comment ....:?



    Oddly enough, it's not just the British who have to put up with it.

    My Polish neighbour who works like a dog, pays his taxes and does a lot of work in the community round here wonders why the British guy on the other side of him (not me, I work) hasn't worked in 2 years and is being subsidised by our taxes. I told him it's because the foreigners have taken all the jobs, but sometimes I wonder whether it is just because he is bone idle.

    lol funny but true.

    I'm not proud to be British because I was born here by chance, its the same as saying I'm proud to have brown eyes.

    Religion and patriotism.

    1. I am proud to be british - TO ME it seems to imply that other countries aren't AS good as brit. There's good and bad in all. If I was born in another country I wouldn't be like DAMN I wanted to be British. I wouldn't care really.

    2. I believe in this one religion THEREFORE all other religions are wrong.


    I just think a lot of people are "proud to be british" because its a soundbyte you hear all the time because its THE NORM. A lot of people wont really have many answers to why they are proud.

    The post was great though, whatever you think of patriotism

    mstiny

    u have got it in a nut shell !!! its annoying aint it !!! only british … u have got it in a nut shell !!! its annoying aint it !!! only british would put up with the likes of that and if u dare say anything its a racist comment ....:?



    Well yes a lot of people would take it as racist, the reason being in this day and age in most cases you really can't have a joke on with a person of coloured origin witout being branded a racist.

    I say in most cases because some people still live in the real world, but for those who are PC, I would like a black coffee please with a touch of white. :thumbsup:

    But going back to my original comment, it really is true. The same goes for the English scroungers too, but in this post it was not in the context to bring the English into it as it was off topic.

    I noticed a lot of people backed off it and never acknowledged the comment I made, I wonder if that was just because it was a crap comment or because of the nature of it. If it were the latter then we really do have a problem on our hands a a nation. Once again the point being people are scared to live their life and make a joke of what the see fit to joke about without any hint of racism whatsoever in the persons mind who is telling the joke.

    very funny ... good laugh

    Its annoying to be honest ... being the point that brits are no longer brits. I went to the states recently and its just awesome there. even tho the americans are not really americans ... they are more authentic than us ! And quality of life there is much better too (in specific states, before you gun me for saying thing [no pun intended])

    Can never understand why you would be proud of something you have no control over ?

    Admin

    stora

    Can never understand why you would be proud of something you have no … Can never understand why you would be proud of something you have no control over ?




    :lol: True lol
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