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    public speaking help

    12 year old daughter used to be fine at public speaking. she was the main part of the school play and everthing but gradually she began to lose her confidence when reading out. Now whenever shes asked to read out she goes red and loses breath and cant speak out/trembles. I have seen all the advice on the internet abou looking at audience, pretending they are not there but nothing has worked for her. Can i take her to a doctor if so what will they do? can anything be prescribed? (very much doubt it myself but..) or what?
    any help very much appreciated

    18 Comments

    Maybe it would help if she spoke infront of you first? Then maybe more of your family?

    Original Poster

    deadduck_145;7248560

    Maybe it would help if she spoke infront of you first? Then maybe more of … Maybe it would help if she spoke infront of you first? Then maybe more of your family?



    we've tried it all.. maybe ill find one of them groups

    ecstacy?

    maybe get her to try speaking out in front of a mirror first

    i no i sometimes do this lol (sad)

    but sometimes if your about to do a speech or a monologue or sumink talking to yourself and psyching yourself up can help

    Original Poster

    jon1000jon;7248581

    ecstacy?



    bad joke..

    why would you want to give your daughter medication so she can speak publicly? sorry i dont think thats the way forward, i say dont push it, she should do it if she is comfortable with it

    have you found out from her if there was ever an incident when she was doing any kinda of performance which may have made her now lose her confidence?

    sometimes an idiotic comment from someone can give a big knock to confidence

    If its causing that much distress for her speak to the teachers and explain it them. She should not be forced into something she is clearly not comfortable with.

    Original Poster

    loupomm;7248608

    why would you want to give your daughter medication so she can speak … why would you want to give your daughter medication so she can speak publicly? sorry i dont think thats the way forward, i say dont push it, she should do it if she is comfortable with it


    yeah but the teachers nowadays pick random people to read out which is stupid

    numptyj;7248625

    have you found out from her if there was ever an incident when she was … have you found out from her if there was ever an incident when she was doing any kinda of performance which may have made her now lose her confidence?sometimes an idiotic comment from someone can give a big knock to confidence



    did ask and she said the teacher laughed when she said something wrong! she said she was okay reading in her other lessons for a while though but not anymore

    Original Poster

    urbanlegend11;7248635

    If its causing that much distress for her speak to the teachers and … If its causing that much distress for her speak to the teachers and explain it them. She should not be forced into something she is clearly not comfortable with.



    i think ill ring the school.. its a rubbish school unfortunately only one local

    GentleTouch;7248644

    yeah but the teachers nowadays pick random people to read out which is … yeah but the teachers nowadays pick random people to read out which is stupiddid ask and she said the teacher laughed when she said something wrong! she said she was okay reading in her other lessons for a while though but not anymore



    would say thats the issue there.

    i no when i did drama in college i got more nervous when friends or family were coming to see
    cos if something went wrong then i no i would have to see them later on or next day and they would mebbe say something

    when u do a performance in front of randomers u can just get a big buzz cos even if there are minor mistakes u no u wont see them again

    cos its her teacher i guess she sees them most days and it might remind her about it and it gives a negative effect

    Original Poster

    numptyj;7248693

    would say thats the issue there.i no when i did drama in college i got … would say thats the issue there.i no when i did drama in college i got more nervous when friends or family were coming to seecos if something went wrong then i no i would have to see them later on or next day and they would mebbe say somethingwhen u do a performance in front of randomers u can just get a big buzz cos even if there are minor mistakes u no u wont see them againcos its her teacher i guess she sees them most days and it might remind her about it and it gives a negative effect



    thanks anyway, rep added. Do you know if there are groups which can help improve speaking back to normal?

    It probably has more to do with her peers than anything else. I'd hazard a guess that your daughter has been picked on as a result of her previous confidence. Sometimes it is best to conform, rather than stand out as a confident young girl. The shortage of breath is a reflex from a fear of rejection, or a lack of belief in herself brought on by other girls picking on her.
    I think Emmerdale is about to deal with a similar issue. Often parents have no idea it is happening, and when it becomes apparent it is often too late. My sister was not so much bullied, but made to feel like she was different because of her confidence, her higher than average intelligence. Teen, and pre-teen girls can be as harsh a foe as any other.
    Speak to your daughter, and try and find out what is at the heart of the matter. I suspect it is a mental thing, rather than anything to worry too much about physically.
    My girlfriend works in a similar area to this, hope it helps.
    Good luck

    Original Poster

    dale4020;7248729

    It probably has more to do with her peers than anything else. I'd hazard … It probably has more to do with her peers than anything else. I'd hazard a guess that your daughter has been picked on as a result of her previous confidence. Sometimes it is best to conform, rather than stand out as a confident young girl. The shortage of breath is a reflex from a fear of rejection, or a lack of belief in herself brought on by other girls picking on her.I think Emmerdale is about to deal with a similar issue. Often parents have no idea it is happening, and when it becomes apparent it is often too late. My sister was not so much bullied, but made to feel like she was different because of her confidence, her higher than average intelligence. Teen, and pre-teen girls can be as harsh a foe as any other.Speak to your daughter, and try and find out what is at the heart of the matter. I suspect it is a mental thing, rather than anything to worry too much about physically.My girlfriend works in a similar area to this, hope it helps.Good luck



    ty rep added

    I would say it is pretty normal for most almost teens to start to clam up. That is how most teens behave, not right but fact of life.

    Quite normal for teens to be very self concious. You cannot help them with it, you will only make them worse and resentful.

    Original Poster

    iglimpse;7248784

    I would say it is pretty normal for most almost teens to start to clam … I would say it is pretty normal for most almost teens to start to clam up. That is how most teens behave, not right but fact of life. Quite normal for teens to be very self concious. You cannot help them with it, you will only make them worse and resentful.



    she says everyone is fine though

    not sure about any groups soz hope she can sort it, its a good quality to have in life cos confidence can tie in to a lot of things in interviews etc

    do you have a relaxation cd?

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