Quick gag 1

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
    "I have good news and bad news," the gallery owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

    "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

    "The guy was your doctor."


    This might be the beginning to your joke:

    A guy goes to his doctor for his medical report and his doctor says "We've got some good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?"

    "The good news first please"

    "We're naming the disease after you"

    A man goes to the doctor and says,
    "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong.
    Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
    The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear:
    "Gimme 20 quid, I really need 20 quid."
    "That's amazing!" exclaims the doctor.
    "That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
    The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say:
    "Man, I really need 10 quid; just lend me 10 quid!"
    The doctor was dumbfounded.
    "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never come across anything like this."
    "Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear to my ankle," the man urged.
    The doctor did so and was blown away to hear his ankle plead:
    "Please, I just need 5 quid. Only 5 pounds. Please!!"
    "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said.
    He frantically searched all his medical reference books. "There's nothing about it in here."
    The doctor thought hard for a moment and then said:
    "Let me try to make a well educated guess. Based on all my previous experience, I can tell you this much: your leg seems to be broke in three places."
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