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    Remind you of anyone? How to spot a narcissist.............

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    It is easier than we might think to spot a narcissist, and yet at the same time much more difficult. Why is this?

    Under threat, a narcissist will act crazy - simply insane. So at such a moment in time, it is easy to spot him or her. When a narcissist feels very secure, the narcissist plays games. These games are spotted by the frequency these games are suddenly substituted by other games. So if there are sudden changes within an email of the like 'I hate you all' and then comes a statement like 'hahaha', that sounds narcissistic. We can call this emotional instability in its extrem. If you live with a narcissist you might remember the early stages of all being wonderful (except a few strange interruptions where the narcissist probes you). But quite strikingly, the narcissist will stop activities which you established with him or her (like not going to the movies or eating out). Additionally, the narcissist will attempt to prove that these changes are due to you. So at this stage, permanent changes to the relationship and to the activities you share are a give away.

    The problem only really occurs when the narcissist does not feel secure but not under threat at the same time. Unfortunately, this is most of the time. This is the time when the narcissist enters your mind, changes facts, projects and transfers and rationalizes events. Again unfortunately, all sounds so plausible too. This is the time when the narcissist really manages to confuse you (alters your perception). You even believe him or her that beating you is a sign of his or her love. Taking a step back and a few months or years later, you might look at yourself and think: 'I must have been crazy.'

    Most of the time the narcissist is preoccupied with proving him or herself. I'll give you a personal example: I went on holidays with my narcissist. She had a problem with a waitress there. She quite clearly felt inferior to her (appearance is all to a narcissist). So then I was told that I made my narcissist jealous by the way I acted. Argument after argument ensued. I then begged my narcissist not to return to this restaurant the next day, but we had to go back. Again argument over argument ensued.

    Back to the question of how you spot the narcissist. In some situation is is easy and in others it is hard. However, it is only hard if you accept the perception of the narcissist to enter your mind. If you force yourself to be yourself, the way you were before, you will spot the narcissist very easily.

    12 Comments

    Dr. Ludger Hofmann ]click
    I am a strong believer in giving credit where its due if possible, even on the internet.

    Interesting topic though, il bet that everybody here knows an narcissist (my ex boss for example).
    I even I have my moments .:)

    Unfortunately CSI I fear we live in a narcissistic society nowadays. capitalism and consumerism actually encouraging the narcissist.

    I'd like to humbly put forward the Metrosexual to draw comparisons to. See if you can spot a couple of those on your forum travels

    Well, perhaps it takes one to know one, but to determine a metrosexual, … Well, perhaps it takes one to know one, but to determine a metrosexual, all you have to do is look at them. In fact, if you're looking at them, they're almost certainly metrosexual. The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis -- because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere



    Source: Mark Simpson. 2002.

    Well, perhaps it takes one to know one, but to determine a metrosexual, … Well, perhaps it takes one to know one, but to determine a metrosexual, all you have to do is look at them. In fact, if you're looking at them, they're almost certainly metrosexual. The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis -- because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere



    Im not disagreeing with you,
    but that seems to be largely based on stereotypes.

    It seems very easy to spot one, that sounds like a blueprint for a marriage with a women to me.

    davelfc;3841618

    It seems very easy to spot one, that sounds like a blueprint for a … It seems very easy to spot one, that sounds like a blueprint for a marriage with a women to me.


    QUALITY!! LOL!!! :whistling:

    davelfc;3841618

    It seems very easy to spot one, that sounds like a blueprint for a … It seems very easy to spot one, that sounds like a blueprint for a marriage with a women to me.



    marriage? don't think you need to go that far... sounds like most of my ex's! :-D

    chrishill;3841657

    marriage? don't think you need to go that far... sounds like most of my … marriage? don't think you need to go that far... sounds like most of my ex's! :-D



    You've got to learn to dump them quicker, it's a lot harder with a wife.

    I've fixed it to read a lot better.


    Under threat, a wife will act crazy - simply insane. So at such a moment in time, it is easy to spot her. When a wife feels very secure, the wife plays games. These games are spotted by the frequency these games are suddenly substituted by other games. So if there are sudden changes within an email of the like 'I hate you all' and then comes a statement like 'hahaha', that sounds like a wife. We can call this emotional instability in its extreme. If you live with a wife you might remember the early stages of all being wonderful (except a few strange interruptions where the wife probes you). But quite strikingly, the wife will stop activities which you established with him or her (like not going to the movies or eating out). Additionally, the wife will attempt to prove that these changes are due to you. So at this stage, permanent changes to the relationship and to the activities you share are a give away.

    The problem only really occurs when the wife does not feel secure but not under threat at the same time. Unfortunately, this is most of the time. This is the time when the wife enters your mind, changes facts, projects and transfers and rationalizes events. Again unfortunately, all sounds so plausible too. This is the time when the wife really manages to confuse you (alters your perception). You even believe her that beating you is a sign of her love. Taking a step back and a few months or years later, you might look at yourself and think: 'I must have been crazy.'

    Most of the time the wife is preoccupied with proving him or herself. I'll give you a personal example: I went on holidays with my wife. She had a problem with a waitress there. She quite clearly felt inferior to her (appearance is all to a wife). So then I was told that I made my wife jealous by the way I acted. Argument after argument ensued. I then begged my wife not to return to this restaurant the next day, but we had to go back. Again argument over argument ensued.

    Back to the question of how you spot the wife. In some situation is is easy and in others it is hard. However, it is only hard if you accept the perception of the wife to enter your mind. If you force yourself to be yourself, the way you were before, you will spot the wife very easily.

    The other way is to look to your left or right in bed, there you go a wife or potential wife right there.

    :w00t::w00t::w00t:

    Original Poster Banned

    phatboy123;3841572

    Dr. Ludger Hofmann ]clickI am a strong believer in giving credit where … Dr. Ludger Hofmann ]clickI am a strong believer in giving credit where its due if possible, even on the internet.Interesting topic though, il bet that everybody here knows an narcissist (my ex boss for example). I even I have my moments .:)


    Didnt mean to plagiarise. Just forgot to copy the bottom line :oops:

    I don't think anyone would think I came up with that definition (does that mean I'm not a narcissist? ;-))

    There are a few well known members on here who could easily be described as narcissistic judging by their bizarre posting variations (you know who you are - or maybe you wouldn't realise ;-))

    I wondered if there was any link to the Autistic Spectrum and found some evidence. (Thinking of ADHD and Aspergers mostly), very interesting.

    davelfc;3841660

    You've got to learn to dump them quicker, it's a lot harder with a wife.



    Can't you just say 'You're divorced' and walk off?
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