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    Settling down vs having adventures

    You're 23, which one did you choose?

    Marriage, mortgage, kids, house, long-term relationship, career job etc etc

    OR

    Travelling, single life, renting/living off your parents, jobs to keep you going...you get the picture.

    I've clearly not slept and I've been thinking a lot. Tell me which path you followed at my age, and why. I'm interested.

    P.S. I'm not old.

    64 Comments

    Banned

    At that age, I left home and travelled the world for 8 months. I'd not change that for the anything!

    the fact you are asking the question shows you are not ready for a settled life, you do not commit to something like that because of social pressures. You just do what feels right and if it goes wrong you can say at least I tried... if you back away from doing what feels right then in later years you will always regret it and that hurts more... good luck with whichever you choose

    Well I'm only 24, got married last year, best day of my life, bought a house december 2008, not planning on kids for a long while, nothing stopping us having 'adventures' to be honest.

    We go travelling.... thailand, malaysia, singapore, cuba, possibly iceland next.

    If anything its great to have someone to do it all with!

    I don't believe in settling down for the sake of it like, but didn't think of it as a choice between this or that, we just get to do everything we want. It's not hard to get a career job and afford to do what you want anyways.

    Just do what you think feels 'right', no pressure, no regrets.

    I'm still choosing!

    Banned

    Far too young to settle down.

    Unless you have a prophylactic accident then there's no reason to 'settle down' at that age.

    marriage and kids for me-why? just seemed the natural thing to do,it was what we both wanted.

    marriage and kids doesnt mean the end of having adventures(unless you mean that in the naughty sense!)-we still go plenty holidays/trips all over the place for concerts,shows etc. we have fun every single day-is settling down something you are considering?

    possibly with micoo?:whistling:

    Original Poster

    mosskeeto;7537639

    the fact you are asking the question shows you are not ready for a … the fact you are asking the question shows you are not ready for a settled life, you do not commit to something like that because of social pressures. You just do what feels right and if it goes wrong you can say at least I tried... if you back away from doing what feels right then in later years you will always regret it and that hurts more... good luck with whichever you choose



    Just to clarify, I'm not making this choice so not looking for advice or anything. I know better than to ask on HUKD for advice!

    Just interested in other peoples stories.

    Banned

    barky;7537652

    marriage and kids for me-why? just seemed the natural thing to do,it was … marriage and kids for me-why? just seemed the natural thing to do,it was what we both wanted.marriage and kids doesnt mean the end of having adventures(unless you mean that in the naughty sense!)-we still go plenty holidays/trips all over the place for concerts,shows etc. we have fun every single day-is settling down something you are considering?possibly with micoo?:whistling:



    I think society may have created that myth in the 50s, but when you look at life expectancy now compared to then, it all seems rather 'retro'.

    I honestly don't know how one could form a decent career if they 'settled down' so early. You'd be competing with people free from anchors to hold them back who would be preferable to many employers.

    Unless you've found 'the one'

    Well im 21 and engaged, but this doesnt stop me from doing anything it just gives me someone to do it with.

    I dont feel like im missing out on anything either.

    FilthAndFurry;7537675

    I think society may have created that myth in the 50s, but when you look … I think society may have created that myth in the 50s, but when you look at life expectancy now compared to then, it all seems rather 'retro'.I honestly don't know how one could form a decent career if they 'settled down' so early. You'd be competing with people free from anchors to hold them back who would be preferable to many employers.Unless you've found 'the one' - *s*******




    incorrect,almost laughably so

    B
    2
    II
    The second one
    Number Two
    Dos
    Deux

    choose? who gets to choose?

    Original Poster

    barky;7537652

    marriage and kids for me-why? just seemed the natural thing to do,it was … marriage and kids for me-why? just seemed the natural thing to do,it was what we both wanted.marriage and kids doesnt mean the end of having adventures(unless you mean that in the naughty sense!)-we still go plenty holidays/trips all over the place for concerts,shows etc. we have fun every single day-is settling down something you are considering?possibly with micoo?:whistling:



    Haha, I will be sure to mention that to micoo next time I see him. I'm sure he'll be thrilled.

    boothy;7537699

    incorrect,almost laughably so



    Don't fight in my thread, go play elsewhere. This isn't a debate, I'm just interested in people's experiences.

    boothy;7537699

    incorrect,almost laughably so



    yep i would employ someone maried before single anyday:thumbsup:

    i would live as long as possible without tethers before settling...i didnt-had kids young too and once you have them its too late...esp for me, as now i have my grandkids to look after so def no chance of time without kids...im not sorry although may sound like it...just wished id waited a bit longer x

    Banned

    boothy;7537699

    incorrect,almost laughably so



    Sorry, I was referring to many 'professional' lines of employment that I have experience of either personally of through friends.

    Some employers may like the idea of a settled employee, but many more like to employ people who can commit fully to their work.

    Your 'area of work' may have different expectations.

    Original Poster

    FilthAndFurry;7537716

    Sorry, I was referring to many 'professional' lines of employment that I … Sorry, I was referring to many 'professional' lines of employment that I have experience of either personally of through friends.Some employers may like the idea of a settled employee, but many more like to employ people who can commit fully to their work.Your 'area of work' may have different expectations.



    Not a debate, not a debate, not a debate, not a debate.

    ravelling, single life, renting/living off your parents, jobs to keep you … ravelling, single life, renting/living off your parents, jobs to keep you going...you get the picture.



    Above for me(without living off parents/renting)....have always loved the single life and cant see me changing in the near future,I have been very lucky so far and have had a great life

    I am on track to retire at 45 as well,so more good times to come(fingers crossed)


    OP at the end of the day everyone is different,their are no guarantees,you do what you think is right and what makes you happy.

    Banned

    I had exactly this choice to make at around that age (I'm 34 now).

    I decided to do a bit of both.

    It made more sense, to me anyway, to knuckle down and get some cash to be able to retire early.
    Then spend the rest of my life travelling and doing exactly what I want whilst everyone else is slaving away until they are mid 60's.

    Looking to semi retire at 40 and enjoy life!

    Banned

    angelfairee;7537725

    Not a debate, not a debate, not a debate, not a debate.



    Apologies:oops:

    What you're asking is the 21st century dilemma. I imagine it must be much worse for women with their biological clocks clanging in the background.

    Maybe with that pressure it can force people to 'settle' in both senses of the word.

    At that age i was married with a child, but my two girls are 23 and 20 are having a ball. Both have boyfriends, oldest is engaged but has no intentions of getting married for a few years yet. I regret not doing everything they have the chance to do. Live your life while you can ! mind you i'm not too old to start living mine i guess.

    At 23 I was working in the Middle East renting my own apartment and shacking up with any woman that would have me...

    If you're happy to turn your hand to anything and have a wide range of skills to fall back on you can do both to an extent and i'm not talking casual bar work in an english themed pub.

    I'd say without the adventures I've had I wouldn't have the wide range of skills I can now call on and that on numerous occasions I've gotten a job over someone else just because of my background.

    I'm now considerably older, married and tapping up some old contacts to find work (and sponsorship) in New York so the wife can attend Parsons.

    Short answer : Both!

    Supermod

    If you opt for the first you do not necessarily have to have all that is "traditional". I am 23, I own my house, have an incredibly well paid job and have a long term girlfriend but I have no plans for kids, marriage etc for at least 4 years. If I wanted to travel I could take a career break.

    Just take these things as they come.

    Ps. I got our tent for Reading...

    Supermod

    plumberman01;7537714

    yep i would employ someone maried before single anyday:thumbsup:i would … yep i would employ someone maried before single anyday:thumbsup:i would live as long as possible without tethers before settling...i didnt-had kids young too and once you have them its too late...esp for me, as now i have my grandkids to look after so def no chance of time without kids...im not sorry although may sound like it...just wished id waited a bit longer x



    Then you would hopefully be sued for discrimination.

    me and the missus had our first child when we were 20 and second a few years later. I want to see the world when i am a bit older and would likely appreciate it more but thats my view there is no right or wrong on this

    i was settled and married with kids by the time i was 22 and i wouldnt change it even if i could

    Travel is one of the most rewarding things a person can do, in fact it should almost be compulsory! And going on a 2 week holiday somewhere exotic is NOT travelling. But three elements in life very rarely come together; time, money and energy. So you will invariably have to compromise one of them; when you are young you'll have the time and the energy but not the money (which will probably give you a much more rewarding and memorable time) as you get older you probably wont have the time, and then later in life you'll not have the energy but have the time and the money to travel at a more comfortable level (not necessarily a good thing). I travelled and worked all round the world from 18 to 25 and then some years later had a 3 month honeymoon travelling round the world with O/H before settling down. My advice, go now. Carpe Diem.

    adventure!!! have fun while u can,i moved in with boyfriend at 17 then had 1st child at 18,ive never been on holiday with my mates,never been to a concert or been abroad,i love all my kids but wish i lived a little b4 having them x x

    edjaned;7538370

    adventure!!! have fun while u can,i moved in with boyfriend at 17 then … adventure!!! have fun while u can,i moved in with boyfriend at 17 then had 1st child at 18,ive never been on holiday with my mates,never been to a concert or been abroad,i love all my kids but wish i lived a little b4 having them x x



    I still go on holiday with my mates to my wifes disaproval! :-D

    Flodd;7538411

    I still go on holiday with my mates to my wifes disaproval! :-D



    lucky u :thumbsup:
    i couldnt afford to go on holiday,i save all year to go on hols with the kids
    im too old now anyway,would of liked to go on one of the 18-30 hols years ago sun,sex and booze lol,too old and boring now though :oops:

    I was settled down. I am only 24 and have 2 beautiful children, but ............. part of me wishes I 'lived' a bit, I have been with my OH since I was 16.

    If your single at 23, go for it do as much as you can I say!

    On the plus side, I am having no more children and will only be 37 when my eldest is 18, so I hope I will have plenty of time to do things then.

    4lyons09;7538489

    I was settled down. I am only 24 and have 2 beautiful children, but … I was settled down. I am only 24 and have 2 beautiful children, but ............. part of me wishes I 'lived' a bit, I have been with my OH since I was 16.If your single at 23, go for it do as much as you can I say!On the plus side, I am having no more children and will only be 37 when my eldest is 18, so I hope I will have plenty of time to do things then.



    i too will be 37 when eldest is 18 but got 13 yr old,6yr old,4yr old,2yr old and baby due in march by the time the baby is 18 i will be 51 they may aswell stick me straight in a home :whistling:

    Banned

    from reading this thread i would say either have children really young so by the time they are dependant you can do all the thing you should have done when young, or have them really old and do the things you could do when your 40 - lol i chose neither

    go travelling - i finished uni, went travelling and have now settled down with a job and a mortgage and i wouldnt sacrifice my traveling adventures for anything!

    I had no commitments no girlfriend or anything at 23 and went around the world for a year basically because if i didnt do it then i might never get the chance to do it again.......take your chances when you can

    Went travelling for a year after finishing a levels, finished degree, went travelling for 2 years, built career, am getting married in 6 weeks!, Kids have not and never will be on the agenda.
    Dont like em, dont want the mess and expense etc. Luckily I found someone who feels the same as me, took a while to clear out the breeders before I found her, but am happy and content now.
    Next step build a house in the sun and look forward to a lazy retirement.

    DKLS;7538854

    Went travelling for a year after finishing a levels, finished degree, … Went travelling for a year after finishing a levels, finished degree, went travelling for 2 years, built career, am getting married in 6 weeks!, Kids have not and never will be on the agenda. Dont like em, dont want the mess and expense etc. Luckily I found someone who feels the same as me, took a while to clear out the breeders before I found her, but am happy and content now.Next step build a house in the sun and look forward to a lazy retirement.



    Life's never that simple though is it? and neither are women... next step she changes her mind! :thumbsup:

    I left Home at 17 (to join the Army) Spent nearly 9 years in the Army, got married to my wife at 20, first kid at 21. Don't regret none of it. Just apllied to go back in the Army on a 1 year contract.
    Been married 10 year now (11 in june) with 2 lush daughters, very happy with how my lifes turned out.

    A whole lot of life is the hand that you are dealt at that time and the decisions you make are those that seem the best at the time. You can plan until the cows come home but you just don't know what the future holds. I was married at 19, students & stone-broke both of us, but when you meet the love of your life - that's it really IMO! House, mortgage, teaching, kids after 8 years, back to teaching, went to Italy for 3 years, back to the UK, got dog, retired, holidays. Thing is that in amongst that time-line all sort of things happened - some good, some dreadful some happy, many sad, which affected what happened next. There is no blue print for a wonderful life.

    Banned

    i`m 50 and still havent settled down in a lot of ways, lol

    just be true to yourself

    find enjoyment in whatever you do , sometimes it will seem the right thing at others the wrong .

    thats life : )

    Banned

    Carley;7539085

    I was 25 when i met "the one" she totally changed my perspective on life … I was 25 when i met "the one" she totally changed my perspective on life and i wanted to settle down as soon as we met. we bought our house together after just 6 months together!



    I thought you were female!!! :w00t:

    The fact that your asking the questions show's you dont want to settle down and have some adventure. Life is long.. not short. Youll have plenty of time to settle down, but when your older and tavelling isn't as easy as when your in your 20's.... Will you look back and regret trying to settle down?

    If you want fun and an unpredicible few years - Take adventure...

    If you want security and to me what seems a boring and repetitive life... Take settle down now.
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