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Should I charge my girlfriend for a phone? (Answered)

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Found 11th AprEdited by:"DatAlbino"
Hey all, hope you're all well.

So I'm trying to get advice on this issue from multiple people to get a well rounded consensus really.

I owned a Xiaomi Mi 5, worth probably about 100-120 quid in it's used condition, when I gave it to my girlfriend, as her very old, very rubbish HTC was stuttering at the same time I upgraded to the Mi 6. I didn't charge her as she is a student abroad in a working class family, and money is sparse for her past normal living expenses and the occasional drink.

She went out one night when she was over in London with me, got trashed, and unfortunately lost her phone. It was out of charge, and I haven't been able to track for neither love nor money, so it's gone.

**** happens, it was my old phone, so it lasted me and then her, not too shabby.

I am now considering upgrading my Mi 6 to the Mix 2s, or maybe the P20 Pro... point is, she is now back to an old failing HTC at around the same time I will most likely upgrade, in the next month or so.

Thing is, while I gave her the Mi 5 for free (and maybe I shouldn't have) the fact that she lost it so carelessly in such a stupid way, and the fact that my Mi 6 is probably still worth 150-200 ish in it's good condition, I wanted to charge her for it.

She was going to buy a Redmi 5 Plus, around 120 or so, and I said, whatever you can find that phone for, pay me and you can have my Mi 6. I thought it was win-win, I get a cheaper upgrade, she gets a cheap but still much better phone, I haven't got a phone lying about, easy life.

But she doesn't like this idea, and says it's typically English of me to charge someone I love for something I don't need.

Am I in the wrong? Thanks in advance.
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If you want some action, no.
If you're likely to split before she's read the manual, yes.
Eh one way to let her go I guess. Lol. I’d never ever think of charging someone I love for this kind of matter. I never even had the thought of this until reading your post.
52 Comments
If you want some action, no.
If you're likely to split before she's read the manual, yes.
Eh one way to let her go I guess. Lol. I’d never ever think of charging someone I love for this kind of matter. I never even had the thought of this until reading your post.
I'd probably charge, but at a deeply discounted price. Though, it depends on how your other half reacts I guess - yours clearly doesn't want to pay so I wouldn't charge them for it (maybe you could just sell yours elsewhere and let her buy the Redmi 5 Plus).
Either keep your phone/sell it to a third party unemotionally attached to you, upgrade and let her sort herself out.
Or decide that you can give your phone away again without regret.

It sounds like you're not happy about the first phone going missing, so you're gonna be more upset when if it happens again?

Tread carefully!
Edited by: "Sharp7" 11th Apr
Just sell it and don’t tell her. If she happens to notice and asks about it give her £10 to shut up
I'd suggest just giving it to her but telling if anything happens to it she's paying you for it as one time is accepted but no more, also if you charge her, she might not be happy about being your girlfriend, just accept she lost your old phone so give her a second chance, worst case if it's lost again you'll be up and she can't argue
Original Poster
Manny5016 m ago

I'd suggest just giving it to her but telling if anything happens to it …I'd suggest just giving it to her but telling if anything happens to it she's paying you for it as one time is accepted but no more, also if you charge her, she might not be happy about being your girlfriend, just accept she lost your old phone so give her a second chance, worst case if it's lost again you'll be up and she can't argue


WHY DOES THE LADY COST ME SO MUCH BANANAAAAAA
Sharp722 m ago

Either keep your phone/sell it to a third party unemotionally attached to …Either keep your phone/sell it to a third party unemotionally attached to you, upgrade and let her sort herself out, or decide that you can give your phone away again without regret.It sounds like you're not happy about the first phone going missing, so you're gonna be more upset when if it happens again?Tread carefully!


I dont think anyone would be happy about giving someone something worth good money for it to be tossed down the toilet 6 months later

I get your point though, this phone is not worth a dent in my relationship
ILikeJam18 m ago

Just sell it and don’t tell her. If she happens to notice and asks about i …Just sell it and don’t tell her. If she happens to notice and asks about it give her £10 to shut up



Was with you til the last hurdle
Derek_Horatio_Shatwell30 m ago

If you want some action, no.If you're likely to split before she's read …If you want some action, no.If you're likely to split before she's read the manual, yes.


Ka11ran27 m ago

Eh one way to let her go I guess. Lol. I’d never ever think of charging s …Eh one way to let her go I guess. Lol. I’d never ever think of charging someone I love for this kind of matter. I never even had the thought of this until reading your post.


We're good on the relationship front, not likely to split up at all.

Seems I'm a heartless fiend after all it was more about the principle of her losing my initial phone, and also the fact that she can't expect people to always pay her way.
jamie01523 m ago

I'd probably charge, but at a deeply discounted price. Though, it depends …I'd probably charge, but at a deeply discounted price. Though, it depends on how your other half reacts I guess - yours clearly doesn't want to pay so I wouldn't charge them for it (maybe you could just sell yours elsewhere and let her buy the Redmi 5 Plus).


That was my plan, to charge her the Redmi 5 plus equivalent, so she would be paying £100 for a Mi 6

That would get deal of the year on here ^^
Original Poster
PabloEscobath2 m ago

Typically English?Dump the racist.


She says that as in my family and immediate circle we do charge each other for things e.g. I bought an Omega watch off my dad, and if we owe each other money we make sure the other half pays it.

Whereas she's from more of a, we have little but what's mine is yours and yours is mine, kind of place.
Sod her, she can get her own phone if she's that bothered!
No, I wouldn't charge my boyfriend for anything.
I gave him an old laptop and iPhone 6 for free. Wouldn't have dreamed of making him pay as he's my boyfriend.

He's not fussed about phones or having the latest gadgets so that suited him fine.

He did lose his phone years ago after getting drunk as well but wasn't a phone I gave him. He bought himself another one.

That said, he earns a lot more than me and if I pay for something with my card or PayPal on his behalf he'll tell me to take back the money from his account.

I get that it's not nice to have lost your phone in that way but I doubt she did it intentionally so let it go would be my advice.
Edited by: "hearts22" 11th Apr
If it's somebody I truly cared about and could see a future with then there is absolutely no chance would I charge them for it. It's it more of a 'fling' then yes, I might consider it - but still unlikely.

You're clearly in a much, much stronger position than her financially from reading your comments above 'I bought an Omega watch off my dad' - and you've already said she doesn't have very much money. I'm baffled that you need to come on a public forum and ask these types of questions and can't figure out the right thing to do on your own.
Typically English!???.
Another option, it's an early birthday/anniversary/christmas present?
Edited by: "chuckiedoll" 11th Apr
chuckiedoll6 m ago

Typically English!???. :/Another option, it's an early …Typically English!???. :/Another option, it's an early birthday/anniversary/christmas present?



I thought that was a bit peculiar too, are the English renowned for being tightwads?
Original Poster
ipswich7831 m ago

If it's somebody I truly cared about and could see a future with then …If it's somebody I truly cared about and could see a future with then there is absolutely no chance would I charge them for it. It's it more of a 'fling' then yes, I might consider it - but still unlikely.You're clearly in a much, much stronger position than her financially from reading your comments above 'I bought an Omega watch off my dad' - and you've already said she doesn't have very much money. I'm baffled that you need to come on a public forum and ask these types of questions and can't figure out the right thing to do on your own.


i am, by virtue of living in the UK, on a much better paycheck than her yes, but I am far from rich (the Omega watch was a vintage watch I bought for £110, old 1970s Seamaster, worth about what I paid for it)

I came onto a public forum because i was curious what people do in such a situation involving their partners and to what extent people say no. Do you say no to a free meal phone? How about a car? Or free rent? I was just seeking opinions, jeez.
DatAlbino12 m ago

i am, by virtue of living in the UK, on a much better paycheck than her …i am, by virtue of living in the UK, on a much better paycheck than her yes, but I am far from rich (the Omega watch was a vintage watch I bought for £110, old 1970s Seamaster, worth about what I paid for it)I came onto a public forum because i was curious what people do in such a situation involving their partners and to what extent people say no. Do you say no to a free meal phone? How about a car? Or free rent? I was just seeking opinions, jeez.




Is she just after your money?

Does she expect things handed to her on a plate?

What will she ask for next, car, house?


Only you/her can answer those questions, do you see a future together yes/no?

If yes, give her the phone for free.

If your thinking no, then it doesn't really matter whether you give it to her or sell it really as if a small a thing as a used phone gets between you what hope when there more important/bigger things in the middle, car, house......kids...?


The fact your asking on a public forum tells me that your looking for justification to sell it to her?

The right thing, and you probably know it, is to give her it for free, you love her and see a future together....?
My wife dropped three phones in water in about a year and each time they cost me but accidents happen and I'd rather know she has a phone in case of emergencies.

I did consider buying her a waterproof case as a joke and billing it to her PayPal though 😁

Just hand it over, no conditions. If you ever considered how many thousands of pounds your partner costs you over the relationship you'd be single forever and hide your money under the bed. Money is great but it doesn't buy happiness, unless happiness is a 2nd hand phone from a partner
Edited by: "darlodge" 11th Apr
Keep the phone. Maybe she'll end up with a better life. HTH.
Personally wouldn't charge someone I loved for anything like a phone... if you want cash go sell it rather than offer to sell it to a loved one.
Can't you just upgrade?

You can do better......
Where is she from?
I think she may have already shopped around and upgraded.
give her the phone. end of. I'd hate to have a partner who even thought about stuff like this.
"says it's typically English of me to charge someone I love for something I don't need".


Sounds manipulative. Upgrade your gf before your phone.
I’ll go against the grain. Reading between the lines she’s pulling the love angle to manipulate. That’s not love.
Dragging up your nationality to manipulate isn’t either. Tell her that you can’t afford the upgrade without a contribution from your old phone. Whether she pays half it’s value or you sell it for double.
If she does love you, she won’t want to see you stretched.

Alternatively tell her X relative also needs a new phone and offered to buy yours. As a compromise she buy her new phone and then you can swap with her. Then sell her new one.
Im surprised your not single to be honest. I wouldnt charge my partner for a phone if i was upgrading and vice versa.

Thats what insurance is there for.
DatAlbino4 h, 23 m ago

WHY DOES THE LADY COST ME SO MUCH BANANAAAAAAI dont think anyone would be …WHY DOES THE LADY COST ME SO MUCH BANANAAAAAAI dont think anyone would be happy about giving someone something worth good money for it to be tossed down the toilet 6 months laterI get your point though, this phone is not worth a dent in my relationshipWas with you til the last hurdle We're good on the relationship front, not likely to split up at all.Seems I'm a heartless fiend after all it was more about the principle of her losing my initial phone, and also the fact that she can't expect people to always pay her way. That was my plan, to charge her the Redmi 5 plus equivalent, so she would be paying £100 for a Mi 6That would get deal of the year on here ^^


Just sell the other phone on envirophone and give her £30 towards her new phone.
Edited by: "cmdr_elito" 11th Apr
Original Poster
Oneday7730 m ago

I’ll go against the grain. Reading between the lines she’s pulling the lov …I’ll go against the grain. Reading between the lines she’s pulling the love angle to manipulate. That’s not love. Dragging up your nationality to manipulate isn’t either. Tell her that you can’t afford the upgrade without a contribution from your old phone. Whether she pays half it’s value or you sell it for double. If she does love you, she won’t want to see you stretched. Alternatively tell her X relative also needs a new phone and offered to buy yours. As a compromise she buy her new phone and then you can swap with her. Then sell her new one.


Thanks for the input, seems like the opinion is very split between me being completely heartless and my gf being manipulative. Wasn't the point, this is the first relationship where I can see it going somewhere and I just wanted opinions, not digs.

Thanks to all who gave constructive feedback.

I'll have a chat with her and let her decide.
DatAlbino38 m ago

Thanks for the input, seems like the opinion is very split between me …Thanks for the input, seems like the opinion is very split between me being completely heartless and my gf being manipulative. Wasn't the point, this is the first relationship where I can see it going somewhere and I just wanted opinions, not digs.Thanks to all who gave constructive feedback.I'll have a chat with her and let her decide.


Meet her halfway as that's what you do in relationships. It's a partnership and not a one way meal ticket. You gave her a phone and she lost it whilst drunk so it's not like you haven't tried to help out. I would sell yours and offer to pay half towards her new phone.
Remember she's your partner and not a child you need to financially support. It's different once you're living together or married but it's not up to you to keep bailing someone out.
I think these sorts of things are difficult to answer on forums as families and relationships are different for everyone.

In my opinion you either give her the phone or, if you need the money, then sell it to somebody else. The suggestion above of an early birthday / Christmas present is a good idea too.
You gave the phone as a gift.

If you'd given her a necklace or bracelet and she lost it on a night out, would you charge her for it?

The point I'm making is no, you shouldn't bill her for the lost phone. Put it down to bad luck and move on.
Or instead of cash she could work off the debt ............
squiff26 m ago

You gave the phone as a gift.If you'd given her a necklace or bracelet and …You gave the phone as a gift.If you'd given her a necklace or bracelet and she lost it on a night out, would you charge her for it?The point I'm making is no, you shouldn't bill her for the lost phone. Put it down to bad luck and move on.


Think you misunderstood, this is not for the lost phone
Is it easiest to replace a phone or your gf?
DatAlbino12 h, 21 m ago

Thanks for the input, seems like the opinion is very split between me …Thanks for the input, seems like the opinion is very split between me being completely heartless and my gf being manipulative. Wasn't the point, this is the first relationship where I can see it going somewhere and I just wanted opinions, not digs.Thanks to all who gave constructive feedback.I'll have a chat with her and let her decide.


"I'll have a chat with her and let her decide." <---- Dude, man up and make your own decisions. You come on here asking people to make it for you, now you're pushing it back on your girlfriend.
Original Poster
sillyboi12 h, 29 m ago

I think these sorts of things are difficult to answer on forums as …I think these sorts of things are difficult to answer on forums as families and relationships are different for everyone.In my opinion you either give her the phone or, if you need the money, then sell it to somebody else. The suggestion above of an early birthday / Christmas present is a good idea too.


Clearly, a very split opinion here as I said before. Thanks for the tip
squiff11 h, 34 m ago

You gave the phone as a gift.If you'd given her a necklace or bracelet and …You gave the phone as a gift.If you'd given her a necklace or bracelet and she lost it on a night out, would you charge her for it?The point I'm making is no, you shouldn't bill her for the lost phone. Put it down to bad luck and move on.


As said before, you're misreading the situation, but I understand in that situation it would be very unfair
kester7613 h, 13 m ago

Meet her halfway as that's what you do in relationships. It's a …Meet her halfway as that's what you do in relationships. It's a partnership and not a one way meal ticket. You gave her a phone and she lost it whilst drunk so it's not like you haven't tried to help out. I would sell yours and offer to pay half towards her new phone. Remember she's your partner and not a child you need to financially support. It's different once you're living together or married but it's not up to you to keep bailing someone out.


Thanks for the advice
Caroline_199314 h, 9 m ago

Im surprised your not single to be honest. I wouldnt charge my partner for …Im surprised your not single to be honest. I wouldnt charge my partner for a phone if i was upgrading and vice versa. Thats what insurance is there for.


Considering I pay for absolutely everything (rent, bills, holidays, flights as she studies abroad alot, her diploma fees, money to live most months) and I have a good track record of nice presents (Gucci heels, Bulgari sunglasses, phones, Hermes bracelet) I think you should hold your tongue. Clearly I made a mistake asking this question online, as instead of commenting about the situation you decided to psycho analyse my relationship.
ipswich781 h, 30 m ago

"I'll have a chat with her and let her decide." <---- Dude, man up and …"I'll have a chat with her and let her decide." <---- Dude, man up and make your own decisions. You come on here asking people to make it for you, now you're pushing it back on your girlfriend.


It's called talking and it gets you places in a relationship, don't tell me what to do, I am asking people's opinions as it's my first long long term relationship and I haven't been in this situation before.

All, she came to me and said she's happy to give me 100 towards my new phone so I can give her my current Mi 6.

I think some of you were missing the point. I am partly upgrading so I can get her a good deal and she has a great phone for cheap. 100 notes would get you a budget phone like a Redmi or in the UK, perhaps a used Huawei/Moto. That isn't a touch on a Mi 6.

I'll stick to tech questions on here from now on, seeming as some people have a very black/white opinion of relationships on here.
Edited by: "DatAlbino" 12th Apr
When you give something to family, close friends or partner for free it's basically a gift. What they do with it shouldn't concern you anymore after you've given it to them.

I gave stuff to my partner that he doesn't keep as well as I did. It's annoying but I care more about other things and I don't want arguments because of that.

He caused a bad dint on the laptop I gave him. He broke the charger. He doesn't clean it often enough etc but it's his now and what he does with it shouldn't concern me, like I said.

I'm not going to start charging him for gifts because of that.

You mentioned things about your gf that are not relevant to the specific issue. It's irrelevant that she's got less money than you etc. It only made people focus on that when that has no bearing on her losing a phone you gave her.
She was careless and I get why you got annoyed that she didn't take better care of what essentially was a gift.

In my opinion you should give her the phone for free. If you want the money then sell it to someone you're not involved with romantically. If you want the money nothing wrong with it. It's not typically English or whatever.

I'm not a Brit, by the way

It's just not appropriate in a committed relationship to charge each other for stuff. The other person automatically thinks you're tight and that's a trait no one likes.
I guess I am like your gf... What's yours is mine and vice versa. I can't see it in another way. My British bf says the same thing
Edited by: "hearts22" 12th Apr
hearts221 h, 14 m ago

When you give something to family, close friends or partner for free it's …When you give something to family, close friends or partner for free it's basically a gift. What they do with it shouldn't concern you anymore after you've given it to them. I gave stuff to my partner that he doesn't keep as well as I did. It's annoying but I care more about other things and I don't want arguments because of that. He caused a bad dint on the laptop I gave him. He broke the charger. He doesn't clean it often enough etc but it's his now and what he does with it shouldn't concern me, like I said. I'm not going to start charging him for gifts because of that. You mentioned things about your gf that are not relevant to the specific issue. It's irrelevant that she's got less money than you etc. It only made people focus on that when that has no bearing on her losing a phone you gave her.She was careless and I get why you got annoyed that she didn't take better care of what essentially was a gift. In my opinion you should give her the phone for free. If you want the money then sell it to someone you're not involved with romantically. If you want the money nothing wrong with it. It's not typically English or whatever. I'm not a Brit, by the way It's just not appropriate in a committed relationship to charge each other for stuff. The other person automatically thinks you're tight and that's a trait no one likes. I guess I am like your gf... What's yours is mine and vice versa. I can't see it in another way. My British bf says the same thing


So if you gave it to him and he just smashed it over chair for a YouTube video you would respect his Artistic impulses
DatAlbino2 h, 53 m ago

Clearly, a very split opinion here as I said before. Thanks for the tipAs …Clearly, a very split opinion here as I said before. Thanks for the tipAs said before, you're misreading the situation, but I understand in that situation it would be very unfairThanks for the adviceConsidering I pay for absolutely everything (rent, bills, holidays, flights as she studies abroad alot, her diploma fees, money to live most months) and I have a good track record of nice presents (Gucci heels, Bulgari sunglasses, phones, Hermes bracelet) I think you should hold your tongue. Clearly I made a mistake asking this question online, as instead of commenting about the situation you decided to psycho analyse my relationship.It's called talking and it gets you places in a relationship, don't tell me what to do, I am asking people's opinions as it's my first long long term relationship and I haven't been in this situation before.All, she came to me and said she's happy to give me 100 towards my new phone so I can give her my current Mi 6.I think some of you were missing the point. I am partly upgrading so I can get her a good deal and she has a great phone for cheap. 100 notes would get you a budget phone like a Redmi or in the UK, perhaps a used Huawei/Moto. That isn't a touch on a Mi 6.I'll stick to tech questions on here from now on, seeming as some people have a very black/white opinion of relationships on here.


I for one I hoped you gained some positives, it was inevitable that a topic like this would bring a varying quality of response.

I feel like I have to reply in a very neutral way now to avoid misinterpretation, very off-putting.

Good to see all worked out in the end, eventually family values will blend as your relationship progresses so you'll both be on the same page in the future
Original Poster
Sharp713 m ago

I for one I hoped you gained some positives, it was inevitable that a …I for one I hoped you gained some positives, it was inevitable that a topic like this would bring a varying quality of response.I feel like I have to reply in a very neutral way now to avoid misinterpretation, very off-putting.Good to see all worked out in the end, eventually family values will blend as your relationship progresses so you'll both be on the same page in the future


Thanks, couldn't put it better myself.
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