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    So I'm allowing the House go Repo

    As many of you know,me and my ex seperated in the Summer.
    We only bought a house which got completed mid July,a few days after getting the keys,we had an arguement and he announced he had feelings for another. He later denied it several hours later and said he said it to make me jealous etc.

    Anyway weeks went on and we eventually moved house and he got colder towards me and more arguements followed,I had enough and told him not to bother coming back home after work. Several weeks later he moved out and into a private rented flat.

    I've been trying keep mortgage payments going for the past few mths,he been pestering me for cash for his share of the house as we went 50/50. I would be ok not having his share if he paid half the mortgage each mth but he can't afford to.
    It was agreed I would pay him back most of his original deposit but to do this I would be about 100K in debt with the mortgage and borrowing of cash. He found out he would have solicitor fees to pay to put share across and started moaning about it.
    I'm now fed up of him so now I'm not going bother borrowing some cash off a friend to pay him off a large lump sum,aswell as giving him £500 a mth to make up his deposit for the next year or so.
    Anyway,I said keep the share of the house,I'm not giving you any money as it's putting me and children in hardship and I'm already taking on the mortgage each mth. He saying when youngest one gets to 18 he force me to sell up through courts, and then he will want half the sale.
    This really not on as he will not have paid a penny more into it.
    I will then have to move out of what been my home for a long time,so I'm just not paying anymore into it now and moving out into my parents into the New Year.

    95 Comments

    Good decision, time to move on with your life :thumbsup:

    Have you had legal advice on this? I'm surprised that he doesn't have to pay anything into it.

    Also, if you can prove that you have paid the mortgage solely for years and years I would have thought that would give you entitlement to a greater share of the house. I may be incredibly naive but it's worth looking into.

    Sorry if you've already checked that out, it's just if the same thing happened between me and my OH I would make him pay to keep his children in our home, particularly as you did nothing wrong.

    Anyway, if that's your decision, good luck xxx

    Hope it all works out for you.

    Original Poster

    zannaz82;7128508

    Have you had legal advice on this? I'm surprised that he doesn't have to … Have you had legal advice on this? I'm surprised that he doesn't have to pay anything into it.Also, if you can prove that you have paid the mortgage solely for years and years I would have thought that would give you entitlement to a greater share of the house. I may be incredibly naive but it's worth looking into. Sorry if you've already checked that out, it's just if the same thing happened between me and my OH I would make him pay to keep his children in our home, particularly as you did nothing wrong. Anyway, if that's your decision, good luck xxx



    I've been to see solicitor and all that,whichever way I go I hit brick wall.
    I've also suggested to him he put his share over in kids names and I would too as the house would be for them when I'm no longer here but he not having any of it. In long run he just doing it to spite me.

    Banned

    girls need to be sly like guys are ...

    we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe

    Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.

    torres88;7128601

    girls need to be sly like guys are ...we guys know in an instant if the … girls need to be sly like guys are ...we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe



    What total ********.

    kidcat;7128640

    Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A … Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.



    Also they'll both be landed with a massive debt and nothing to show for it.

    Original Poster

    kidcat;7128640

    Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A … Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.



    I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.

    He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.

    Banned

    kidcat;7128640

    Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A … Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.



    Where do you expect the kid to live?

    Mite be a good idea, if she wants to go back to her mum house to live.

    Original Poster

    torres88;7128601

    girls need to be sly like guys are ...we guys know in an instant if the … girls need to be sly like guys are ...we guys know in an instant if the girl is playing ... girls dont ... blonde?maybe



    He only known her for a few wks when the 1st argument started,it's not like it went on on for ages and ages. He said when we broken up they just friends etc but thats not the case. He's told me himself he's now sleeping with her since he got his flat,he's 34,she's 16,maybe she 17 anytime dunno.

    Original Poster

    torres88;7128662

    Where do you expect the kid to live?Mite be a good idea, if she wants to … Where do you expect the kid to live?Mite be a good idea, if she wants to go back to her mum house to live.



    We moving into my parents,that's most likely option at moment,I've lived away from home since 17 but am fed up of being blackmailed over the house.

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128652

    I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be … I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.



    It will cost you alot less to in selling fees than the fees for a repossession, not to mention the debt you will have afterwards to cover any shortfall. My friend had to sell her house as part of her divorce and because her ex had to sign all papers relating to the sale he became jointly liable for the estate agents fees etc. So she paid her share and he had to pay his, if he hadnt paid the agents chase him.
    As for the payments to the mortgage company while you wait for it to sell, my friend was advised to make her half of the payments directly and give the mortgage comapny the exs details to chase him for his half, fortunately she didnt need to do this cos it sold quite quickly. But she was able to prove she had been paying the mortgage solo and his share was reduced by amount she had contributed IYKWIM.

    Banned

    Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?

    You decide.

    FilthAndFurry;7128754

    Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively … Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?You decide.



    Of course she isnt, she is a mother on her own trying to do the best she can for her kids while the father is able to walk away from his responsibilities. She is very hurt and rightfully so, she needs support and good advice not snide comments.

    Banned

    kidcat;7128640

    Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A … Would it not be better to sell it rather than get it repossessed? A repossession is going to kill your credit rating for ages and it hardly seems fair when you have done nothing wrong.


    ^^this
    Shengis;7128649

    Also they'll both be landed with a massive debt and nothing to show for … Also they'll both be landed with a massive debt and nothing to show for it.


    ^^this
    kidcat;7128733

    It will cost you alot less to in selling fees than the fees for a … It will cost you alot less to in selling fees than the fees for a repossession, not to mention the debt you will have afterwards to cover any shortfall. My friend had to sell her house as part of her divorce and because her ex had to sign all papers relating to the sale he became jointly liable for the estate agents fees etc. So she paid her share and he had to pay his, if he hadnt paid the agents chase him.As for the payments to the mortgage company while you wait for it to sell, my friend was advised to make her half of the payments directly and give the mortgage comapny the exs details to chase him for his half, fortunately she didnt need to do this cos it sold quite quickly. But she was able to prove she had been paying the mortgage solo and his share was reduced by amount she had contributed IYKWIM.



    good example

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128652

    I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be … I not paying for it to be sold etc,it would take ages and then he be expecting more than he put in.He should do the right thing by the children and hand over his share.



    yes but lets be honest...this isnt about the children....
    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128670

    He only known her for a few wks when the 1st argument started,it's not … He only known her for a few wks when the 1st argument started,it's not like it went on on for ages and ages. He said when we broken up they just friends etc but thats not the case. He's told me himself he's now sleeping with her since he got his flat,he's 34,she's 16,maybe she 17 anytime dunno.



    its about this!


    This is all being done to get back at your ex for cheating...ok your angry but your kids should come first and you are hurting everyone to hurt him. Your own pettiness is just as bad as his


    sorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' but I aint gonna lie....

    Banned

    you reaqlly are gonna be losing here, why on earth let it reposessed, have you spoken to your mortgage company, at least get them to freeze everything whilst you sell the house, im sure there are other options open to you here

    Original Poster

    FilthAndFurry;7128754

    Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively … Is OP making decisions just to get back at ex that will impact negatively on her and her childrens' lives?You decide.



    I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.

    Banned

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128815

    I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the … I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.



    you deal with through a solicitor and get everything drawn up now, not in 18 yrs, and who is to say things wont change for you in 18 yrs, i think your making a big mistake

    i can't believe he would be so selfish :x doesn't he realise how it's going to affect the kids :x

    Original Poster

    sassie;7128808

    you reaqlly are gonna be losing here, why on earth let it reposessed, … you reaqlly are gonna be losing here, why on earth let it reposessed, have you spoken to your mortgage company, at least get them to freeze everything whilst you sell the house, im sure there are other options open to you here



    Got a lot on with other stuff so I don't want anymore hassle.
    I was willing to get myself into more debt to pay him off for his share but he started moaning about paying solicitor fees so I said well you simple can't be trusted now so we'll leave it like that.

    Original Poster

    sassie;7128822

    you deal with through a solicitor and get everything drawn up now, not in … you deal with through a solicitor and get everything drawn up now, not in 18 yrs, and who is to say things wont change for you in 18 yrs, i think your making a big mistake



    He knows what he wants in 18yrs time,wants half the house with paying a penny into it all.
    I've had enough of his dictating,it's all his done for the past mths.

    Banned

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128834

    Got a lot on with other stuff so I don't want anymore hassle.I was … Got a lot on with other stuff so I don't want anymore hassle.I was willing to get myself into more debt to pay him off for his share but he started moaning about paying solicitor fees so I said well you simple can't be trusted now so we'll leave it like that.



    well its yours and the childrens future and it seems you cant be assed which is fair enough, but really pees me off when you do not have to deal with it, thats what solictors are for, playing games now is pretty stupid on both parts

    ODB_69;7128806

    ^^this^^thisgood exampleyes but lets be honest...this isnt about the … ^^this^^thisgood exampleyes but lets be honest...this isnt about the children....its about this!This is all being done to get back at your ex for cheating...ok your angry but your kids should come first and you are hurting everyone to hurt him. Your own pettiness is just as bad as hissorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' but I aint gonna lie....



    so you don't think he should pay his share of the mortgage? :? i think he's scum for not supporting his kids :x

    Banned

    ODB_69;7128806

    sorry I know you want to hear 'your doing the right thing hun xxx' .



    This:thumbsup:

    Banned

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128847

    He knows what he wants in 18yrs time,wants half the house with paying a … He knows what he wants in 18yrs time,wants half the house with paying a penny into it all.I've had enough of his dictating,it's all his done for the past mths.



    he aint dictating anything you dont want him to, had you spoke to a solicitor you would know this

    Banned

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128847

    I've had enough of his dictating,

    Original Poster

    sassie;7128857

    well its yours and the childrens future and it seems you cant be assed … well its yours and the childrens future and it seems you cant be assed which is fair enough, but really pees me off when you do not have to deal with it, thats what solictors are for, playing games now is pretty stupid on both parts



    I've been back and forth with solicitors,no other way.
    He should be paying half into,simple as that,isn't so he should pass share over.

    Can someone confirm this is another man hate/spurned single mum thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?

    Banned

    boothy;7128880

    Can someone confirm this is another man hate thread or is the OP wanting … Can someone confirm this is another man hate thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?



    good call.. I would say both :w00t:

    He wouldnt be entitled to half the house in 18 years time, you would be able to prove no contribution so he would get back what he put in plus a percentage of the price rise, at this point you could sit in the house not give him a penny back and then in a couple of years sell it and give him his deposit and bit on top.

    Banned

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128879

    I've been back and forth with solicitors,no other way.He should be paying … I've been back and forth with solicitors,no other way.He should be paying half into,simple as that,isn't so he should pass share over.



    if he leaves he does not have to pay half, if it is a joint mortgage you are both responsible, change solicitor and get one that knows what there talking about, stop being a victim, stand up to what is right for you and your children

    dog_cop;7128889

    good call.. I would say both :w00t:



    in b4 people give advice that she doesn't want to hear and spams her thread


    edit:too late

    Mum2Connor&Cerys;7128815

    I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the … I'm making what's best for me and the kids now,it's a big burden the mortgage me paying it anyway and it's not right he comes along and claims half in 18yrs time and then I be having to move then anyway.


    He will not be able to claim half the value of the house if he hasn't been paying the mortgage.He will be entitled to his share of the dposit but that will be it.If he pays half the mortgage then in 18 years,fair enough,he will be entitled,but from what you have said that is not going to happen.

    Can you afford the mortgage on your own?If you can I would seriously consider keeping the house as that will be a better option long term for both you and your children.

    Is there a way that you could extend the mortgage by the amount he paid in deposit?

    Banned

    boothy;7128899

    in b4 people give advice that she doesn't want to hear and spams her … in b4 people give advice that she doesn't want to hear and spams her threadedit:too late



    un subscribed .. :thumbsup:

    sassie;7128896

    if he leaves he does not have to pay half, if it is a joint mortgage you … if he leaves he does not have to pay half, if it is a joint mortgage you are both responsible, change solicitor and get one that knows what there talking about, stop being a victim, stand up to what is right for you and your children


    What Sassie says:thumbsup:

    muckypup;7128921

    What Sassie says:thumbsup:


    i agree :thumbsup:

    ITT: Parent puts themselves before their kids.:roll:

    Banned

    cheerleader;7128858

    so you don't think he should pay his share of the mortgage? :? i think … so you don't think he should pay his share of the mortgage? :? i think he's scum for not supporting his kids :x



    not at all what im saying...this whole thing isnt about that
    its a joint mortgage he is entitled to what he paid in back.....
    this isnt about the kids....its about a petty argument

    Original Poster

    boothy;7128880

    Can someone confirm this is another man hate/spurned single mum thread or … Can someone confirm this is another man hate/spurned single mum thread or is the OP wanting genuine advice?



    Not wanting any advice really,I've had all advice of solicitors.
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