So, you think English is easy???

21 replies
Found 10th Apr 2008
If you think what follows here is strange, think of the word/words (BOW/BOUGH) and the number of meanings they have between them even when pronounced the same.


Do You Think English Is Easy?


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats, which aren't meat, are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted - but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'



You lovers of the English language might enjoy this



There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times, the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so......... it is time to shut UP...!


And you wonder why were so confused

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20 Comments

I like to do my Reading in Reading.

my daughter is using this for her english assignment - thank you papasmurf - brilliant

my pet hate is spelling mistakes - 10/10

rep added

That is fantastic! You dont realise all this until it is written down in front of you! http://www.forumsextreme.com/imgs1/sHa_yes2.gif

How many kilowatts does it take to kilojoule?

I'm pretty sure its a common pub quiz question that the word 'set' has more dictionary definitions than any other English word.

pure brilliance

Original Poster

holly100;1866913

my daughter is using this for her english assignment - thank you … my daughter is using this for her english assignment - thank you papasmurf - brilliantmy pet hate is spelling mistakes - 10/10rep added



you're welcome.

thanks for the rep!

I'm glad I'm not a foreigner learning our language!

Apparantly English is very hard to learn,just goes to show.

Mum2Connor&Cerys;1867033

Apparantly English is very hard to learn,just goes to show.



what i find amazing is that quite often, people who are polish, spanish etc who have lived here for years can actually communicate better in english than quite a few who were born here can. :oops:

very amusing PS

fitzybhoy;1867069

what i find amazing is that quite often, people who are polish, spanish … what i find amazing is that quite often, people who are polish, spanish etc who have lived here for years can actually communicate better in english than quite a few who were born here can. :oops:



stora;1867079



obviously, i may have ballsed up my reply and made myself out to be an illiterate fud. :thumbsup: but you get the point i was making :oops:

fitzybhoy;1867105

obviously, i may have ballsed up my reply and made myself out to be an … obviously, i may have ballsed up my reply and made myself out to be an illiterate fud. :thumbsup: but you get the point i was making :oops:



I'm not saying I would be able to do any better but it did make me smile. :thumbsup:

stora;1867138

I'm not saying I would be able to do any better but it did make me smile. … I'm not saying I would be able to do any better but it did make me smile. :thumbsup:



i do find it a bit embarassing really. my downstairs neighbours were a polish couple and some of their english was fantastic. :thumbsup: i also had a holiday in poland and one of our guides wasnt even polish and he could speak around 4-5 languages fluently :w00t: was pretty amazing actually. would love to have that sort of ability.

holly100;1866913

my daughter is using this for her english assignment - thank you … my daughter is using this for her english assignment - thank you papasmurf - brilliantmy pet hate is spelling mistakes - 10/10rep added



So why did you use 'there' instead of 'they're' in this post: hotukdeals.com/ite…le/

:giggle:

Original Poster

bjmcghee;1867304

So why did you use 'there' instead of 'they're' in this post: … So why did you use 'there' instead of 'they're' in this post: http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/168992/advice-needed-can-firms-take-sample/:giggle:



class!

Re refuse, reuse or refuse.

very very good, can now sleep easy, I am not a totally illiterate fool.

Agent_Silver;1868589

I am not a totally illiterate fool.



What, has someone been accusing you of being born out of wedlock??? :?
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