Some jokes to cheer you up for Monday morning

3
Found 17th Feb 2008
The circus strongman and the bearded lady got married and had a baby boy who became a great trapeze artist. They had a daughter and she became a lion tamer.

When they were expecting their third child the midwife asked, Are you hoping it will be a boy or a girl?

They replied, We dont mind as long as it fits in the cannon.

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An American tourist is lost on the foggy Scottish moor when an old Scotsman appears.

Thank God, I thought I was lost! gasps the American.

Can ye lend me a tenner? asks the Scotsman

Certainly not! Just tell me where I am. snaps the American.

Youre lost sure enough. says the Scotsman and walks away into the fog.


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He bought his wife a hamster skin coat and took her to the funfair.
He couldnt get her off the big wheel.

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The insurance man was writing the Scots farmer a large cheque for his burned out barn.

Hoping to recoup a little business he asks, Have you ever thought about taking out Flood insurance?

No, replies the farmer, I dont know how to start a flood.

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How come there are so many drunks in Glasgow and so many estate agents in Edinburgh?

Glasgow had first pick.

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Hear about the dyslexic alcoholic who choked on his own vimto?

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How are things, Jock?

Terrible. A fortnight ago I won £45,000 on the Lottery. Last week I won £15,000. This week, nothing!

3 Comments

He he he, very good! - but it's not Monday morning yet!!!

Nice jokes

Good chuckle. Cheers:thumbsup::-D
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