Found 5th Oct 2010
An f5 key walks into a bar-barman says "get out,we dont do functions"

Comic sans walks into a bar-barman says "get out,we dont serve your type here"

feel free to add to the dreadful jokes

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"An f5 key walks into a bar-barman says "get out,we dont do functions"

thats a refreshing joke

a woman goes into a bar and asks for an innuendo - so the barman gives her one........

ahem

Banned

roryk83

a woman goes into a bar and asks for an innuendo - so the barman gives … a woman goes into a bar and asks for an innuendo - so the barman gives her one........ahem



this should be posted in the funny joke section instead

Original Poster

guy walks into a bar and sees a labrador in the corner playing poker with 3 men.

"is that dog any good at poker?"

"not really,every time it gets a good hand,it wags its tail"

Guy walks into a bar.. and said Owch!

Bloke came into the pub last night dressed in a black top , black shorts and a whistle in his mouth. Any minute now this guys gonna kick off I thought to myself.

What d'ya call a Robin Reliant with a beach ball inside?








A whistle.




What d'ya call a Robin Reliant with a twin exhaust



A wheelbarrow

Banned

A bloke goes in an sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll.

Bloke behind the counter says, "Male or female?"

Customer says, "Female"

Counter bloke asks, "Black or white?"

Customer says, "White"

Counter block asks

"Blond or brunette"

Brunette says the custome

Large or small boobs he asks

large says the customer

Counter block asks, "Christian or Muslim?"

Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"

Two blondes fixing tiles on a roof.
One of them keeps throwing every second nail away.
"What are you doing?"
"They're dud - they were facing the wrong way"
"You muppet - they're for the other side of the roof!"

A bloke goes on holiday and a few days in rings his neighbour to ask about his cat, the nighbour says "i'm sorry mate but yor cats dead!"
The man gets all upset and says "you coulda let me down gently, coulda said the cat had been playing on the roof and slipped on a loose tile, fallen off the roof and died.."
"sorry" says the neighbour.
On returning home the man says to the neighbour - how is everything?
The neighbour says "well how do i put it? Your mum was playing on the roof...."

Whats a 7 course meal for an Irishman?



A 6 pack and a potato.



Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer.?

A computer remembers after you punch information into it

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.

I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Lady Gaga.

What do you call a person who used to collect tractors?

extractor fan
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