Groups

    Some more jokes

    Banned
    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
    years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
    and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
    doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
    back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
    the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
    laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
    and I didn't listen to you.

    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.


    .........................


    One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of cannibals attaked them and knocked them out.

    When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

    The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

    So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

    Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.

    The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

    The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

    6 Comments

    both very funny

    excellent

    lmdo, I love the gross out gags alot.

    Good work again sald

    Original Poster Banned

    robtallica;3089155

    lmdo, I love the gross out gags alot. Good work again sald



    :thumbsup:

    Like the second one lol

    :thumbsup: lol - Kudos.
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. miikeyblue and shabbird's (but mostly shabbird's) Tuesday night pub quiz!563832
      2. SNES Classic launches 29th September 2017 - Check for stock and pre-order i…4691433
      3. Cheer me up please?712
      4. Feels weird!925

      See more discussions