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    Stupid/Funny Court Transcript

    Banned
    Taken from an actual court transcript!..............


    By the Court Clerk: Please repeat after me, "I swear by Almighty God ..."

    By the Witness: I swear by Almighty God.

    Clerk: That the evidence that I give ...

    Witness: That's right.

    Clerk: Repeat it.

    Witness: Repeat it.

    Clerk: No! Repeat what I said.

    Witness: What you said when?

    Clerk: That the evidence that I give ...

    Witness: That the evidence that I give.

    Clerk: Shall be the truth and ...

    Witness: It will, and nothing but the truth!

    Clerk: Please. Just repeat after me, "Shall be the truth and ..."

    Witness: I'm not a scholar, you know.

    Clerk: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me, "Shall be the truth and ..."

    Witness: Shall be the truth and.

    Clerk: Say, "Nothing ..."

    Witness: Okay. [Witness remains silent]

    Clerk: No! Don't say nothing. Say, "Nothing but the truth ..."

    Witness: Yes.

    Clerk: Can't you say, "Nothing but the truth ...?"

    Witness: Yes.

    Clerk: Well? ... Do so.

    Witness: You're confusing me.

    Clerk: Just say, "Nothing but the truth ..."

    Witness: Is that all?

    Clerk: Yes.

    Witness: Okay. I understand.

    Clerk: Then say it.

    Witness: What?

    Clerk: "Nothing but the truth ..."

    Witness: But I do! That's just it.

    Clerk: You must say, "Nothing but the truth ..."

    Witness: I will say nothing but the truth!

    Clerk: Please, just repeat these four words "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth."

    Witness: What? You mean, like, now?

    Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.

    Witness: "Nothing. But. The. Truth"

    Clerk: Thank you.

    Witness: I'm just not a scholar you know.

    1 Comment

    I wonder how many naughty people have actually tried to wind up HM Judges and Judiciary and start all that malarky!
    I can see a contemp of court happening there!
    That did make me giggle though!
    xx
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