Suitable punishment for my neighbour..

86
Found 2nd Mar 2013
My neighbour stands in his porchway and smokes, and then deliberately throws his cigarette butt onto my driveway. I see him through the glass in my front door. Also, he sweeps his own driveway of debris that blow in from the street, but will not sweep mine even though he has thrown his cigarette butts all over it.

So i ask you, what is suitable payback for this rude behaviour?
Community Updates
Misc
86 Comments
Crap on his doorstep.
Banned
Throw a cigarette butt back onto his driveway?? Take a dump on his doorstep? Pee through his letterbox?
Maybe secrete something pungent near the doorway that he can't find so that he eventually doesn't want to smoke there due to the smell.
Banned
Just ask him to refrain from throwing cigarettes on your drive. Hopefully he will be sufficiently embarrassed and stop.

Just ask him to stop some people don't even realise that they are doing something to annoy you, Please could you stop throwing your cigarette ends on my drive???

If he doesn't then s*it on his doorstep!!
Record him throwing it and then confront him and then beat the **** out of him.
I agree with comment 1.
Or sweep them up and throw them back in his garden.
I think living next to you is enough punishment for anything he does now or in the next 10 years
hire a big massive blower and wait....
Wear your strap-on and stick it up his bum.
Go over to his house. Explain to him your really fed up that somebody has been throwing butts onto your drive. Say you have noticed he is out there a lot and so your checking if he has seen anyone smoking out there and throwing the butts.
How to stop neighbours throwing cigarette butts on your property in 3 easy steps.

Step 1:

1. Knock on his door.
2. Say "You mind not flicking your butts onto my property, I'm sick of cleaning them up".
3. Leave.
4. If situation is not resolved move to step 2.

Step 2:

1. Buy cheap CCTV System and fit.
2. Send recorded evidence to your local environmental health department.
3. Let them deal with it.
4. If situation is not resolved move to step 3.

Step 3:

1. Visit the internet and buy a few grams of 'bath salts'.
2. Get totally wasted.
3. Knock on neighbour door and eat his face.
Edited by: "spaceinvader" 2nd Mar 2013
Banned
Plum

Go over to his house. Explain to him your really fed up that somebody has … Go over to his house. Explain to him your really fed up that somebody has been throwing butts onto your drive. Say you have noticed he is out there a lot and so your checking if he has seen anyone smoking out there and throwing the butts.



That is exactly what Karl Marx would have done X)
Elton Chong

That is exactly what Karl Marx would have done X)




Chomsky actually.
Plum

Chomsky actually.



Who is Karl Chomsky?
spraint

Who is Karl Chomsky?


He invented the chomp, you should know your history.

http://www.thegobstopper.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/420x280/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/c/h/chomp.jpg
burn his house down
Go out next time he has a fag and see what he does with it.
spaceinvader

How to stop neighbours throwing cigarette butts on your property in 3 … How to stop neighbours throwing cigarette butts on your property in 3 easy steps.Step 1:1. Knock on his door.2. Say "You mind not flicking your butts onto my property, I'm sick of cleaning them up".3. Leave.4. If situation is not resolved move to step 2.Step 2:1. Buy cheap CCTV System and fit.2. Send recorded evidence to your local environmental health department.3. Let them deal with it.4. If situation is not resolved move to step 3.Step 3:1. Visit the internet and buy a few grams of 'bath salts'.2. Get totally wasted.3. Knock on neighbour door and eat his face.




Can I not skip the starter and main course and move onto the hardcore dessert of option 3 please bob?
Pick them all up over a few weeks, stick them in a envelope, put his address and a stamp on it and pop it in the post
"Also, he sweeps his own driveway of debris that blow in from the street, but will not sweep mine even though he has thrown his cigarette butts all over it."

I would never expect my neighbours to sweep my property regardless. I wouldn't get mad if my neighbour wouldn't mow my lawn either.
Elton Chong

That is exactly what Karl Marx would have done X)



Thatcher would have done it better; contract a private enterprise to send an agent to his house to request that no further butts be flicked, then send a private cleaning company to your house to remove the butts. Bill you both £800 each, invade an island with the profits.
harlzter

Can I not skip the starter and main course and move onto the hardcore … Can I not skip the starter and main course and move onto the hardcore dessert of option 3 please bob?



Live for the moment, get those Chinese chems up your nose and go out for a munch!
Next time he does it, shoot him in the **** with a BB gun from your upstairs window, then hide. He would never expect it, and will think twice next time.

Skinnerian conditioning.
be a man just tell him if he does not stop yer gonna make him eat them is his choice then
myles6844

be a man just tell him if he does not stop yer gonna make him eat them is … be a man just tell him if he does not stop yer gonna make him eat them is his choice then



There may be some logistical issues with your advice, mainly the ops lack of male genitalia. Thanks tho.
Haha dogs not notice that use your womanly charms on him an record it . then threaten to show his wife if he doesn't do yer garden
myles6844

Haha dogs not notice that use your womanly charms on him an record it . … Haha dogs not notice that use your womanly charms on him an record it . then threaten to show his wife if he doesn't do yer garden



But surely by your advice, he would of already done her garden..no?
For every butt thrown on your drive, match it with a used tampon thrown on his drive.
Edited by: "Mark2111" 2nd Mar 2013
myles6844

be a man just tell him if he does not stop yer gonna make him eat them is … be a man just tell him if he does not stop yer gonna make him eat them is his choice then



If the op's name/profile pic is anything to go by then she can't "be a man"

Besides he might be a woman beater.
Go around local supermarkets/public areas emptying ash trays wait until he flicks it onto your drive then go out with the 2-3kg of cigarette buts and tip it on his drive way.
Maggots through the letterbox usually resolves neighbourly disputes.
I have no idea why we r still discussing this!

I have told you

Burn his house down end of
miles136

I have no idea why we r still discussing this!I have told youBurn his … I have no idea why we r still discussing this!I have told youBurn his house down end of




Not sure you have thought this thing through miles.
Tell him to quite smoking or he'll get the aids.
Banned
Plum

Chomsky actually.



I think Althusser might have taken a tougher line
Banned
Plum

Not sure you have thought this thing through miles.



http://blog.mailvu.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/freddy-krueger.jpg
Plum

Go over to his house. Explain to him your really fed up that somebody has … Go over to his house. Explain to him your really fed up that somebody has been throwing butts onto your drive. Say you have noticed he is out there a lot and so your checking if he has seen anyone smoking out there and throwing the butts.



* you're...
Just throw the butts back
Park elsewhere, pour petrol on your drive, and put a line of it going up to his house/garden.
Post a comment
Avatar
@
    Text

    Top Discussions