Surprise the Miles136 summer burning caribou comp

24
Found 23rd Aug 2017
only one prize £10 donation to a charity of yours or my choice

Rules
1 I will make them up as we go along

What do you have to do?
just entertain or amuse me

Fern will be the judge

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Ooooohhhh I got one!!!!

Man walks home alone one cold, dark, foggy night. He hears a faint thudding kind of sound in the distance behind him but thinks nothing of it.

He goes on his way but then realises the thudding is getting louder but he cant see anything because of the fog. He begins to worry and picks up speed.

The thud, thud, thud behind him is getting closer........and louder. He can now just make out some sort of large shape through the dense fog. His worry turns to panic and he starts to run. The thudding matches his speed.

He's nearly home when he finally sees clearly what is following him. It's a large lid-less coffin, standing on end.

He reaches his home, speeds through the door and slams it shut behind him with a sense of relief.

The coffin still approaches and seems undeterred by the door. The man starts to run upstairs just as the coffin crashes through the door. In a panic he throws anything he can find at it but the coffin continues. He runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The coffin thuds it's way up the stairs and bursts through the bathroom doom. The man picked up the first thing he finds on the bathroom shelf - a bottle of Benylin Syrup and throws it at the coffin. The coffin stops.

24 Comments

Original Poster

Advantages
no chasing deer's
no disappointing results
no newbies taking the prize and never coming back again
no pics of buses

'no pics of buses' !
why ?
31760115-GDgrf.jpg

Anyone want to trade this boring post for the winning one?

31760401-ICoRC.jpg

It won Ken Cheng 'Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe award' so maybe it will work for me:

“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”

Chickedy9 m ago

It won Ken Cheng 'Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe award' so maybe it w …It won Ken Cheng 'Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe award' so maybe it will work for me:“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”


The all shouldn't be there, it doesn't work with the all

Chickedy25 m ago

It won Ken Cheng 'Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe award' so maybe it w …It won Ken Cheng 'Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe award' so maybe it will work for me:“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.”



Wonderful joke for the re-moaners to take note of!

Ooooohhhh I got one!!!!

Man walks home alone one cold, dark, foggy night. He hears a faint thudding kind of sound in the distance behind him but thinks nothing of it.

He goes on his way but then realises the thudding is getting louder but he cant see anything because of the fog. He begins to worry and picks up speed.

The thud, thud, thud behind him is getting closer........and louder. He can now just make out some sort of large shape through the dense fog. His worry turns to panic and he starts to run. The thudding matches his speed.

He's nearly home when he finally sees clearly what is following him. It's a large lid-less coffin, standing on end.

He reaches his home, speeds through the door and slams it shut behind him with a sense of relief.

The coffin still approaches and seems undeterred by the door. The man starts to run upstairs just as the coffin crashes through the door. In a panic he throws anything he can find at it but the coffin continues. He runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The coffin thuds it's way up the stairs and bursts through the bathroom doom. The man picked up the first thing he finds on the bathroom shelf - a bottle of Benylin Syrup and throws it at the coffin. The coffin stops.

31765289-oKCVi.jpg

Well done on 500 'discussions'(whatever that means) miles

more is more (wink)

No offense meant, just making the point.

MSK.3 m ago

No offense meant, just making the point.



31772255-k2n7x.jpg

MSK.6 m ago

What? 👼


Good thing you brought your parachute

31772315-GNLph.jpg

darn missed a caribou

Wongy1101 m ago

Good thing you brought your parachute [Image] darn missed a caribou


Damn 😾

Original Poster

thus far still waiting

Original Poster

Wongy11021 h, 21 m ago

'no pics of buses' !why ?[Image]


the first comp they had was full of big prizes, the best prize was won by a new member who had joined only for the comp never posted a deal or made any contribution other than he drew a picture of a bus FP will find it for you, he won first prise and never came back, and in those days it was the mods who chose the winner

Original Poster

I will keep this going till end of month

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Original Poster

barriey2 h, 0 m ago

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The …A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"


Now that did make me laugh xxx

Original Poster

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself

Original Poster

forgot about this, have been on a world tour of all the flesh pots of Teesside bit I am back for a brief time

Why is the hair on bees sticky?


Because they use honey combs!!
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