Take a smile break ............................ WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME !

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you


Excellent one Lesley. I'll be sending that one to my old dear on Mothers Day! Cheers.

very good, may I just add that my mother had two great sayings...
Those who ask don't get!
If you don't ask you don't get!
Obviously used at different times to ensure I never got sweets/ice creams.


]Take a look at this

That is absolutely brilliant. :-D


That is absolutely brilliant. :-D

Its even better the second time, you catch things you didnt the first time because you were laughing!

I cant think of anything my mum said that isnt there, and she has said all the ones she mentions!

One of the videos on the related videos links has the lyrics in the description...

Julia, that was sooooooooo funny! :giggle:

I would show it to my daughter only I know I would get the rip taken out of me big time as I too have said all those things!!!!

I showed it to everyone I know, and all either said "I say that" or "My mum says/said that" all the way through!

I can guarantee that you will be humming the tune and saying the occasional line for days to come!


I can guarantee that you will be humming the tune

Yes, you little madam, I now have THAT tune stuck in my head!!! :roll:


Yes, you little madam, I now have THAT tune stuck in my head!!! :roll:



cheeky!!! :roll:


cheeky!!! :roll:

Who me? http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q42/xiaoseven/angel-1.gif


Who me?

YES, You!!!!!

funny as sin...thankyou


funny as sin...thankyou

Thanks for the rep
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