Ten Signs You Had Too Much Fun Last Night

    .1. You'd rather have a pencil driven through your retina than be exposed to sunlight.

    2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."

    3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.

    4. You're convinced that the chirping birds are Satan's pets.

    5. You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.

    6. You replaced the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.

    7. The bathroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, "Step right up and give it whirl!"

    8. All day long your motto is, "Never again."

    9. You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.

    10. Your natural response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!"


    Original Poster

    If the government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and spirits, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named "Big Al".

    Original Poster

    Two men are approaching each other on the street.
    Both are dragging their right foot as the walk.
    As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
    The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog carp, 20 feet back."

    All true , especially this:

    You're convinced that the chirping birds are Satan's pets.


    :giggle: true them

    Original Poster


    Original Poster


    Original Poster

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