The 2008 Darwin Awards Winners!

6 replies
Found 19th Jan 2009
>> Yes, it's that magical time of year again.

>> When the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

>> Here are the glorious winners:

>> 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>> during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
>> did something that can only inspire wonder.
>> He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
>> worked.
>> And now, the honorable mentions:

>> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>> machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
>> insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>> men to have a look for himself.
>> He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
>> approved.

>> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>> during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
>> had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

>> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
>> from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
>> incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
>> waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
>> mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
>> and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
>> days.

>> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>> close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

>> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>> counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>> the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>> the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>> fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.. The total amount of cash he
>> got from the drawer....
>> $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
>> committed?]

>> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
>> He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
>> window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
>> heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
>> and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
>> liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught
>> on videotape.

>> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>> grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>> woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>> Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
>> the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
>> the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
>> "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

>> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>> Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
>> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
>> open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
>> rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
>> frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

>> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
>> a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
>> arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
>> home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
>> to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
>> home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
>> press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

>> In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
>> friends and family.... Unless of course one of these individuals by
>> chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad
>> they are distant and hope they remain lost.

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6 Comments

havnt read these in a while (as most are made up) but.......
since when did they include a load of people not dying by being stupid?
not that i wish anyone to die but....well i thought it was the rules

ye man, the awards are the er, monkeys nuts. roasted or salted ? you decide . . .

I agree - the whole idea of the awards is that only stupid people are eligible if they advance evolution by removing themselves from the gene pool.

Well I had a good chuckle. Loved the mental patient one. :thumbsup:

Number 4 made me laugh.

even the winner isnt the "funniest" of the lot - thats been touted around a lot


the actual 2008 awards can be found here:
darwinawards.com/dar…tml

i have no idea what the list above is (apart from rubbish)
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