The alnbowes ONE LINERS Thread.

Banned 56 replies
Found 31st Jul 2008
Please post you one liners here.

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Got home and found the cat dead in the washing machine earlier. I'm gutted, but at least the cat died in comfort!!!!

Cowboy walks into a German car show room, and says "Audi":w00t:

Suicide bomber runs into a pet shop, and shouts you've all got 30 secs to get out. The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts :-

You *******

Money talks... but all mine ever says is "Good-bye"
:-(

alnbowes;2642791

Cowboy walks into a German car show room, and says "Audi":w00t:



:whistling:

not quite a 'one liner'

.. . . . . .. . . ... . . .. . . .. . ....... . .. ... .......
.. . . . .. . ... . . .. . . . . . ... . ... .. .. ..
. . .. . ..... ........ .. .. ... . . . .. . . . . . . . . . ..
.. .. ..... . . ... .. . .... . . . .. . .
.. . . . . . . ....... . .. . . . . Lots of love. Stevie Wonder.

Schizophrenia beats being alone:thumbsup:

Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough

mbgringo;2642817

.. . . . . .. . . ... . . .. . . .. . ....... . .. ... ....... .. . . . … .. . . . . .. . . ... . . .. . . .. . ....... . .. ... ....... .. . . . .. . ... . . .. . . . . . ... . ... .. .. ... . .. . ..... ........ .. .. ... . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .... .. ..... . . ... .. . .... . . . .. . . .. . . . . . . ....... . .. . . . . Lots of love. Stevie Wonder.



Liking it ......whats it say :whistling:

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

What's that smell...................... Joan of Arc

Banned

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

alnbowes;2642848

Liking it ......whats it say :whistling:



Was a quick essay about his favourite colour . . . . . . corduroy

Karim786;2642812

:whistling:not quite a 'one liner'



well there aint more than one line ......is there ??

(always one)

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Mick Hucknall's been arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit, apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention (sorry in advance :oops:)

sting like a bee, float like a butterfly

Jesus loves you! It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.

A closed mouth gathers no foot

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.


When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

mbgringo;2642952

Mick Hucknall's been arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit, … Mick Hucknall's been arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit, apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention (sorry in advance :oops:)



Mick Hucknall and Mark Knopfler are forming a new band.............Simply Dire.

Guys walks into a bar carrying jump leads. Barman says "Don't you start anything in here!"

Divorce, Latin for ripping out a mans wallet through his testicles.

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

NOW ON SALE AT IKEA . . . . lesbian beds, no screwing involved, its all tongue and groove . . .

Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.

Research has uncovered that excessive masturbation can lead to dyslexia, hwoeevr, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse

Give me a min....I've got plenty of short jokes.

hottoshop;2642984

Mick Hucknall and Mark Knopfler are forming a new band.............Simply … Mick Hucknall and Mark Knopfler are forming a new band.............Simply Dire.



love it

mbgringo;2643123

Research has uncovered that excessive masturbation can lead to dyslexia, … Research has uncovered that excessive masturbation can lead to dyslexia, hwoeevr, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse



loooooooooool:w00t:
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