The best way to stop kids playing football on my car

43
Found 23rd May 2008
I have an open driveway and it looks like, when we're out, the local kids use it as a football pitch... Well, that was ok but now they've graduated to using it when my car is parked there.

Last time I they managed to bounce a football off the top of my car i told them to burger off down the park and they did, but it seems they have very short memory spans and they're back.

Short of setting up booby traps which would take up far too much time, and simply buying a gun and shooting them i'm stumped. How can i get rid of the little bar stewards for good?
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42 Comments
A good hard cuff from their mother's back hand should do the trick. Have a word with their parents.
Join the police and park your police car in the drive instead
baconsandwich;2163619

A good hard cuff from their mother's back hand should do the trick. Have … A good hard cuff from their mother's back hand should do the trick. Have a word with their parents.



I wish i knew who they were - although i'm not yet sad enough to spy out of the window it may come to that! haha
Thats a tough one!

I used to get cats damaging my car, they would sit on the warm bonnet. To stop this i sat in the front room with my alarm key fob and when the cat gets comfy on the bonnet - Press! The noisy alarm would make them poop themselves. Might work on Kids.
Quite a lot of residential areas have signs up saying No Ball Games,but they take no notice anyway.

My housing association are always sending out letters about this sort of thing happening in area,amongst other children causing a nuisance in general.
SteveBrule;2163656

Thats a tough one!I used to get cats damaging my car, they would sit on … Thats a tough one!I used to get cats damaging my car, they would sit on the warm bonnet. To stop this i sat in the front room with my alarm key fob and when the cat gets comfy on the bonnet - Press! The noisy alarm would make them poop themselves. Might work on Kids.



Yeh cats do that,specially in Winter or go underneath for some heat.
SteveBrule;2163656

Thats a tough one!I used to get cats damaging my car, they would sit on … Thats a tough one!I used to get cats damaging my car, they would sit on the warm bonnet. To stop this i sat in the front room with my alarm key fob and when the cat gets comfy on the bonnet - Press! The noisy alarm would make them poop themselves. Might work on Kids.



My car isn't quite that high tech - i could just press the key and shout 'beep' - it convinced my friend :-D
kids are gettin too cocky these days, i was coming home yesterday and there were these two kids on their bikes in the middle of the road going at walking pace and there was a car behind them and our car, i would have just loved to go out and give them a good hit, but thats against the law these days!
how bout a chain that runs across the drive from one edge to the other? two eye/loop bolts in the wall then a chain should cost no more than £10-£20
It's all about the attitude, seriously. If you ask them nicely and respectfully rather than shouting at them to ****** off they will respond better. At the end of the day kids just want to be liked.
got a similar problem ,lil wotsits kicking a football up the side of my house,the constant thudding is driving me loopy and despite asking them politely and then gobbing off at them they dont get the message,theres a park 20 metres away!!
leefal;2163712

It's all about the attitude, seriously. If you ask them nicely and … It's all about the attitude, seriously. If you ask them nicely and respectfully rather than shouting at them to ****** off they will respond better. At the end of the day kids just want to be liked.



It's gone past that stage now. Asking nicely would have worked when I was a kid, but these ones are just little *****.
bb gun?
Mardyass;2163715

got a similar problem ,lil wotsits kicking a football up the side of my … got a similar problem ,lil wotsits kicking a football up the side of my house,the constant thudding is driving me loopy and despite asking them politely and then gobbing off at them they dont get the message,theres a park 20 metres away!!



That's the thing - walk about half a mile, not even that probably, and there is a huge sportsground where they can kick away to their heart's content!
oo oo catch the ball and knife it!!!
Ace Hayward;2163771

bb gun?


Now that's quite a good one... It's private property after all
it doesnt matter what room I'm in in the house i cant seem to escape the thudding noise,its after school kicks out til 7/8pm ish,spoken to the mother,went in one ear and out the other,she thinks she owns the neighbourhood and her kids can do anything they want
Kitchen knife through the ball will solve this one for you :thumbsup:
I have them knocking on my door and running away,I know who they are and have asked them nicely not too but still they do it.Have also been to parents who do not really give a toss.I have now resorted to shouting at them and it seems to work.everytime I see them I give them an almighty glare and say dont forget what I told you"I will cut your f---ing balls off if you mess with me again" seems to work.Do you think its too much though?
DAMNOME;2163793

Kitchen knife through the ball will solve this one for you :thumbsup:


tried keeping one of the kids balls that came over the garden,the mother rung the police and told them i had "stolen" their property and i was ordered to give it back,the police were hopeless in helping me with the thudding problem,ruddy typical isnt it?!
Mardyass;2163791

it doesnt matter what room I'm in in the house i cant seem to escape the … it doesnt matter what room I'm in in the house i cant seem to escape the thudding noise,its after school kicks out til 7/8pm ish,spoken to the mother,went in one ear and out the other,she thinks she owns the neighbourhood and her kids can do anything they want



I think the knife in the ball idea would suit us both.

I hate people like that who let their kids do whatever they please at the expense of everybody else. Maybe you should pay a local kid to go do it to her house :whistling: :lol:
podd2000;2163815

"I will cut your f---ing balls off if you mess with me again" seems to … "I will cut your f---ing balls off if you mess with me again" seems to work.Do you think its too much though?



Hahaha no, if it works and you're not REALLY going to cut their balls off then I say it's fine. But then I do hate most children.
Yeh well this is all too common now,my partner gets a lot of cheek of them round here too for no reason,when he coming in from work etc.
I have loads of people around where i live who let their kids do what ever they want. really annoyin
Mardyass;2163715

got a similar problem ,lil wotsits kicking a football up the side of my … got a similar problem ,lil wotsits kicking a football up the side of my house,the constant thudding is driving me loopy and despite asking them politely and then gobbing off at them they dont get the message,theres a park 20 metres away!!



Is it a pavement, then your wall ... or a bit of ground, then your wall? If you have earth there, you could try planting some pyracantha, which is really spiky ...

en.wikipedia.org/wik…tha
podd2000;2163815

I have them knocking on my door and running away,I know who they are and … I have them knocking on my door and running away,I know who they are and have asked them nicely not too but still they do it.Have also been to parents who do not really give a toss.I have now resorted to shouting at them and it seems to work.everytime I see them I give them an almighty glare and say dont forget what I told you"I will cut your f---ing balls off if you mess with me again" seems to work.Do you think its too much though?



That reminded me of what I used to get up to when we were kids :whistling:

We always dared each other to knock on the door of who ever went the maddest...

People who didn't respond were quickly forgotten about :?

I'd go mad if someone did it to my house now though :oops:
My neighbours kids are outside making a noise from the time they get home from school until about 8/9pm

The mother doesn't seem to care as long as they are not bothering her :x

They are cheeky as hell too
Laffy42;2163842

Is it a pavement, then your wall ... or a bit of ground, then your wall? … Is it a pavement, then your wall ... or a bit of ground, then your wall? If you have earth there, you could try planting some pyracantha, which is really spiky ...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyracantha



No - it's a driveway big enough for two cars, straight off of the road with the house round it - no plants - and the neighbours moved out so it's completely empty when i'm not there now! Came back today to find the wheelie bins had been moved to the back corner, into the neighbour's parking space. Cheeky little sods.
sell the car, problem solved.
TWIGGY4LIFE 666;2163895

sell the car, problem solved.



Except of course I would have to sell it for at least 20 grand to compensate for not being able to work anymore.

Not the best solution
superfran;2163769

It's gone past that stage now. Asking nicely would have worked when I was … It's gone past that stage now. Asking nicely would have worked when I was a kid, but these ones are just little sh*ts.



All it takes is a bit of people skills, actually have a conversation with the boys. Now is the perfect time to do so with Man utd winning the premiership and Champions League, Celtic winning the premiership etc. Judging by your avatar I'm assuming you're female so this tactic will probably work better if you have a man do it who as a clue. Just treat them as human beings, that's what they are!
Not all kids are bad, but if people continually assume that they are little "chavs" (i hate that generalization) they will act like little chavs.
superfran;2163909

Except of course I would have to sell it for at least 20 grand to … Except of course I would have to sell it for at least 20 grand to compensate for not being able to work anymore. Not the best solution



true, what car you got?
leefal;2163970

All it takes is a bit of people skills, actually have a conversation with … All it takes is a bit of people skills, actually have a conversation with the boys. Now is the perfect time to do so with Man utd winning the premiership and Champions League, Celtic winning the premiership etc. Judging by your avatar I'm assuming you're female so this tactic will probably work better if you have a man do it who as a clue. Just treat them as human beings, that's what they are!Not all kids are bad, but if people continually assume that they are little "chavs" (i hate that generalization) they will act like little chavs.



Haha I probably know more about footie than my OH and I didn't even know that Man utd won anything so really not something either of us can chat about!

And maybe not all kids are bad, but these ones are gobby little sh*ts and I can't be bothered to treat them like 'people' any more.
TWIGGY4LIFE 666;2163985

true, what car you got?



Something worth considerably less than that :thumbsup:
superfran;2164214

Something worth considerably less than that :thumbsup:



oh
go out with a sledge hammer and crack their heads open lol!
Just get an intercom and shout at them through it.

Edit: does the driveway not have a gate?
hug a hoodie !!!
mrtootough;2164423

hug a hoodie !!!



Tightly round the neck????????? :whistling:
You have my sympathy, we were woken up at 7.30 last Sunday morning to the sounds of kids shouting, sreaming and playing football! :x
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