The Donkey

    .The Donkey

    One day a farmers donkey fell down into a
    well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
    the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

    Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
    well needed to be covered up anyway;
    it just wasnt worth it to retrieve the donkey.

    He invited all his neighbours to come over and
    help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
    to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
    donkey realized what was happening and cried
    horribly. Then, to everyones amazement he
    quieted down.

    A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
    looked down the well. He was astonished at what
    he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
    back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
    He would shake it off and take a step up.

    As the farmers neighbours continued to shovel
    dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
    off and take a step up.

    Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
    stepped up over the edge of the well and
    happily trotted off!

    Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
    of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
    is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
    our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
    of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
    never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

    Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

    Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

    Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

    Live simply and appreciate what you have.

    Give more.

    Expect less

    NOW ...........
    Enough of that carp . . . The donkey later came back,
    and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
    The gash from the bite got infected and
    the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.


    When you do something wrong, and try to cover
    your ass, it always comes back to bite you.


    Original Poster



    Original Poster

    A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and having been told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

    The preacher decided that he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day, the racing sheets carried the following headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.

    The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and this time it won. The headlines blared: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.

    The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher to not enter the donkey in any more races. The newspaper printed this headline: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.

    This was just too much for the bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a neighboring village. The next day, the headlines announced: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

    The bishop fainted. As soon as he was able, he informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey, and she finally found a farmer willing to buy it for $10. The paper announced the transaction as: NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS.

    They buried the bishop the next day.

    Original Poster

    The Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, "Hallelujah!" The only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!"
    The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions. "Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately. "This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah," he rode off very proud of his new purchase.
    The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading toward a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop. "Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going. "Oh, no... Bible!....Church!...Please Stop!!" shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer. "Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."
    The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff. [CENTER]"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

    You can drop the dead donkey now...

    Original Poster


    You can drop the dead donkey now...

    ahh used to watch that years ago .. very very funny ;-)
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